The Best Deanne McKenzie Quotes

Mama: [farts] Curly. Shame on you. That crazy dog. Must have got into some of my leftover pasta fasul.
Deanne: Yes, Mama, I'm sure that's exactly what happened.
Mama: It did. We should get a dog.
Deanne: Heh. We need to get a water buffalo. Whoo!

Deanne: Since when did you learn to speak Chinese?
Kurt: Just a little something I picked up watching a Chinese cooking show.
Deanne: That's great. Maybe you should focus a little less on the talking, and a little more of the cooking.
Mama: [laughs] You got told.
Kurt: You got toe.

Deanne: How about I take you out for a date night every Thursday?
Kurt: Well, Thursday night is Grey's Anatomy, but any other night would be great.

Mama: Deanne, you should have married that Italian guy like I told you.
Deanne: Yeah and if I did, you'd be the one who's pregnant right now.
Mama: You're probably right. I'll butt out now.

Bean: [as milk is shooting out of Sally's breast] You're wasting it!
[Sally's breast milk gets all over Deanne's face]
Sally: I'm sorry.
Deanne: [while tasting the breast milk] Actually, it's not that bad.

Deanne: Hey! Why is Dickie crapping all over the ice cream stand?

[Roxanne is experiencing difficulties with a sewing machine]
Roxanne: [in Spanish] This stupid machine, that doesn't work for anything, gets stuck, stuck, stuck!
Sally: That's so sexy. What are you saying?
Deanne: Oh, I think that she said:
[speaks mock Spanish]
Deanne: Milan!
[Everyone laughs]

Beefcake: Kids don't belong in here. That leash better not trip me up.
Deanne: Leash isn't gonna trip you up. It's your big-ass, hairy man feet that are gonna trip you up.

Wiley: Excuse me. It is okay if I feel your belly? I love babies. I love to feel them kick.
Deanne: Sure, go ahead.
Deanne: [Wiley leans down as far as possible and feels Deanne's breast] That's not my belly, that's my boob.
Wiley: I like to feel those too.

Water: [in a high pitched voice] What's up ladies? I'm from Sascatchatoon! That's up in Canada, eh? You American ladies ever been up to Sascatchatoon? Yeah, you American ladies would enjoy being in Sascatchatoon.
[all the wives laugh at him]
Water: Hoseteasers.
[walks off angry]
Deanne: Everything was on steroids except for his voice.