The Best Lt. Gen. Robert 'Iron Guts' Kelly Quotes

Lt. Gen. Robert 'Iron Guts' Kelly: Uh, Colonel Wortman, why don't you go along with Major Burns here and check out the unit's motor pool setup and see how closely it conforms to the Pentagon's new Franistan plan. Give it a good going over... you know, take your time, a couple of hours at least.
Colonel: Yes, sir.
Maj. Frank Burns: Now General?
Lt. Col. Henry Braymore Blake: Uh, General, what is the Franistan plan?
Colonel: A tremendous Army research project for making crank case oil edible after 5000 miles.

[Margaret and Gen. Kelly stand close for a snapshot]
Maj. Margaret "Hot Lips" Houlihan: Oh, your gun is digging into my thigh.
Lt. Gen. Robert 'Iron Guts' Kelly: Lucky gun.

Lt. Col. Henry Braymore Blake: General Kelly, I'd like you to meet our very fine head nurse, Major Houlihan and uh Major Burns, one of our finest surgeons, a real killer.
Lt. Gen. Robert 'Iron Guts' Kelly: Major.
Maj. Margaret "Hot Lips" Houlihan: General.
Maj. Frank Burns: General.
Lt. Gen. Robert 'Iron Guts' Kelly: Major.
Lt. Col. Henry Braymore Blake: And the General's aide, Colonel Wortman.
Colonel: Major.
Maj. Margaret "Hot Lips" Houlihan: Colonel.
Maj. Frank Burns: Colonel.
Colonel: Major.
Lt. Gen. Robert 'Iron Guts' Kelly: Colonel.
Lt. Col. Henry Braymore Blake: General?
Lt. Gen. Robert 'Iron Guts' Kelly: No, no, my Colonel.
Lt. Col. Henry Braymore Blake: Oh, I'm sorry, General. I got it all brass backwards.