50 Best Ruth Wilder Quotes

Bash: I'd like to toast my mother for organizing all this.
Birdie: Aw.
Bash: But before I bring her up here, I'd like to... bring up some other... powerful, equally admirable women. Women who have struggled with drug addiction. Women who have found that, showing up at a gym every day, to learn how to wrestle, has kept them sober. These are the women of WAD. Wrestlers Against Drugs. They've come here tonight to share their stories. If you're moved to support them, please, open your hearts, and your checkbooks. Thank you.
Birdie: For the love of God.
Carmen: My low point came two months ago, when I woke up on a bench at the mall, naked... and high.
Reggie: Then I spent all my money on... the crack.
Tammé: So my husband said, 'It's either me, or the crack.' I chose the crack.
Stacey: Crack should be my middle name. And also my first and my last name.
Rhonda: Eggs, bacon, bangers and mash, toast, Marmite, and crack.
Melanie: I went to three rehabs. Uh, Hazelden was the best one, so, you know, you guys know... Now, if you have, like, a... If you have a fucked-up kid or whatever. Also, I did a lot of crack.
Jenny: [speaking in Cambodian] ... crack!
Birdie: Tell the girls to stop talking and introduce me.
Bash: No, wait. Last one, last one.
Ruth: I've... made a lot of terrible decisions. Some of them I don't even remember.
[pause]
Ruth: I hit rock bottom when I slept with my friend's husband. I was really wasted at the time. But... the second time, I wasn't. I knew what I was doing. I was sober and insecure, and I think I was acting out of this deep well of resentment. I didn't even know I had and it was just... buried. And then every... It all came out, and... fucked up a real friendship.
[pause]
Ruth: But then, I found wrestling... and it saved me. Coming to the gym every day, seeing... these women struggle... to use their bodies and... learn something new, and we did! And it's a better feeling than drugs. Crack, specifically.
[Bash gives a thumbs up]

Debbie: Are we sure this is the right channel?
Cherry: Yes.
Melanie: Yes.
Arthie: Are people gonna like it? What if no one watches? What if it turns out we can't wrestle, and we only thought we could. I don't wanna watch.
[Arthie tries to get up]
Ruth: Shh, shh. It's starting!
Bash: [from TV] Bash Howard Productions and Patio Town Inc. proudly present, From the Hayworth Hotel in Los Angeles, California, It's GLOW, the Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling!

Ruth: [Russian accent] Mmm. Delicious. In Soviet Union, we must pay one month's salary for this quality of cat.
[Sam laughs]
Ruth: [Russian accent] Mm. Foster's Freeze. We have same place. Ice Cream Gulag. There, you go in, it's so cold, you die.
Sam: [laughs] I like you like this. I like you more than I usually like you.
Ruth: [Russian accent] Mm. Is because you are weak American. I will destroy all you hold dear.
Sam: Russians, best villains since the Nazis. It's too bad you can't do it for real.
Ruth: Why can't I do it for real?
Sam: Well, if you're Russian. you have to fight the all-American hero, and Debbie's not even talking to you.
Ruth: Well, you never know. She could change her mind.
[Russian accent]
Ruth: Is like old Russian saying: A fisherman cannot kill a chicken till there are no more fish in the sea.
[Sam giggles, while Rhonda has an uncomfortable look]
Rhonda: I need to wee.
Sam: So? Go.
Rhonda: Don't you want to come with me?
Sam: What?
[a disappointed Rhonda steps out of the car]

Ruth: Hey! Are you joining the team? Is she joining the team?
Debbie: Well, it's hard to pass up a starring role.
[looks at Sam]
Debbie: So we need to pick up Randy from my parents' house, and I need chow fun from Two Panda Deli.
Sam: Okay.
[Debbie gets in Sam's car]
Ruth: So, um... so, I'm fired?
Sam: No! Are you an idiot? You're chum. You're blood in the water. Debbie's the hero and you're the villain. Everybody's gonna hate you!
Ruth: I don't want everyone to hate me.
Sam: Oh, Christ. Crying, caring, the desperation. That, that's what makes you unbearable. Look, I don't like you, Strindberg. Take that in. Hold on to it. Try not giving a fuck. There's a lot of power in that.
[Sam approaches his car]
Sam: And relax. The devil gets all the best lines.

Tammé: Hot damn, I made the list!
Melanie: Everyone made the list, Tammé. It's a lineup.
Tammé: [noticing she's teaming up with Cherry against Dawn and Stacey] Our names are together, fighting the Beatdown Biddies. I guess that means we're a team now.
Cherry: I wonder why.
Rhonda: Oh, mine has got a star next to it. 'Cause I'm bright, like a star.
Carmen: I think that means you're supposed to win the match.
Rhonda: Oh, so, um, I'm a star and a winner.
Melanie: Oh, yep.
[the ladies leave while Ruth and Debbie look at the lineup]
Ruth: Well, guess it's official.
Debbie: Yeah. They spelled your name wrong.

Ruth: So, do I grab onto a specific body part?
Big: You sort of grab everything and fall backwards.
Debbie: Okay. You're not gonna drop me, right?
Ruth: No, I swear. I got you.
Debbie: It's like a fucking trust fall, only I stare at your face and remember all the reasons I don't trust you.
Ruth: Look, if you miss, my body will break the fall. I take the hit.
Debbie: Okay.
[Debbie barely jumps and falls on Ruth]
Debbie: How'd that look?
Carmen: So great.
[Debbie gets up]
Debbie: Let's do it again.

Debbie: What the fuck was that?
Sam: What? You guys had your sneaky little plan, I had mine.
Ruth: It's called a work.
Sam: Well, mine was called, 'Don't be fucking predictable.'
Ruth: Ours wasn't predictable. It was a tag-team match into a double-cross into a phoenix rising from the crowd, which is all very surprising.
Sam: Yeah, and then the American hero wins the Crown? Come on.
Debbie: So, what? Now it's all about trying to win the Crown back from Welfare Queen?
Sam: Yeah. The money's in the chase. I think I'm gonna roll credits over this mayhem.
[Sam walks toward the ring]
Ruth: I think our match was good.
Debbie: I mean, I'm sure I'll hate it when I see it, but it felt good.
Ruth: Debbie, we were great.
[pause]
Ruth: You wanna grab a drink?
Debbie: No. We're not there.

Ruth: [Russian accent] Please. You love to hate me! Russia is supreme world leader!
Bash: And here comes the Crown.
[Florian enters the ring with the GLOW Crown]
Ruth: [Russian accent] I am victorious. No one can defeat Zoya! Everyone here is too much sissy! Okay?
Debbie: I'll fight you!
Bash: Who's that? Who's that yelling from the audience?
Debbie: You heard me. I said I'll fight you.
Ruth: [Russian accent] Who, you? Bored housewife in dress?
Debbie: Yeah. I am a proud American mother. And I refuse to raise my children in a world without freedom. And I'm ready to kick your Soviet ass all the way back to Siberia.
[Debbie rips her dress to reveal a wrestling outfit underneath and hands it to Mark]
Bash: Look at this brave American.
Debbie: Honey, will you just hold this? If this is too silly for you, you can leave.
[Debbie enters the ring]
Bash: This gorgeous stranger is taking on Zoya for the Crown!

Bash: Whoo! All right. Those mics are hotter than Kelly LeBrock. Where's Sam? Does he wanna test the levels?
Ruth: Uh, Sam had a family emergency.
Bash: What? He doesn't have any family.
Ruth: That's the emergency. So, we're gonna need you to announce.
[pause]
Ruth: I know. It's kind of a curveball, but...
Bash: No. I brought my tuxedo. I... I was born for this moment.
Ruth: Great. Uh, so, I wrote all your lines...
Bash: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm probably gonna embroider these a tad, okay? But, uh... Whoa. Since when does this thing end with a, a tag-team match?

Ruth: [Russian accent] Morning, comrade. Ow, ow, ow.
[Ruth puts down her glass of hot tea]
Ruth: [Russian accent] This is how we drink tea in Russia. With pain.
Sam: Okay, can you stop with the accent? It's a little, a little early for that.
Ruth: [Russian accent] It's never too early to be in character.
Sam: Well, yes, it is.
Ruth: What do Russians have against mugs?
Sam: Well, you need the metal thing. There's a metal thing with a handle that the cup goes into.
Ruth: How do you know that?
Sam: I used to date a Russian woman. Yana Popov. Like the vodka. No relation. But she didn't get along with my dog, and she had a, a weird mole.
Ruth: So, why am I here early?
[Debbie walks in the gym and accidentally knocks over the glass of tea]
Debbie: What the fuck? Why is that here?
Ruth: It was too hot. I'll get paper towels.
[Ruth grabs the glass and runs to the restroom]

Gregory: Life is suffering.
Ruth: I was just saying that this morning. I am so on the Russian wavelength. I am like...
[Russian accent]
Ruth: one of those dolls, in a doll, in a doll, in a doll. I am many dolls. Because, I am so into myself. Do you get it, though? I'm into myself.
Gregory: It's a thinker.
Ruth: Hey, will you introduce me to more people?
Gregory: No. You say you want real thing, but you keep asking stupid questions. We didn't all work in factories and write sad poetry.
Ruth: Ah. Okay, fine. I'll just introduce myself.
[Ruth approaches Michael's mom]
Ruth: [Russian accent] Zdravstvuyte. I am Zoya. Thanks to you for having me at party.
Michael's: [Russian] Who is this? Where's Lupe?
Gregory: [Russian] She's mad at me. Thinks I don't pay enough attention to her.
Michael's: Mm.
Ruth: [Russian accent] Is more fun than work break at Gulag.
Michael's: [Russian] What's the matter with her? What's she talking about?
Gregory: [Russian] She's in character. Actress. So she says. Maybe hooker. When Michael heals, she might be a nice present for him.
Michael's: [Russian] Why did you bring an actress whore to a sacred rite of passage? She's bothering everyone.
Gregory: [Russian] You know I have trouble saying no.
Michael: [Russian] Somebody please get me a drink!
Michael's: [looks at Ruth] Nice to meeting you. I have to get the boy some vodka. Excuse me.
Ruth: [Russian accent] Nice to meeting you too.
[Ruth goes back to Gregory]
Ruth: I love that.
[Russian accent]
Ruth: 'Nice to meeting you. Nice to meeting you. Zoya, nice to meeting you.'

Ruth: Well, um, we're playing the U.S. versus Russia as a sort of Cold War ballet.
Debbie: You guys, I wanna fly. I wanna literally leave the ground and do some serious badass aerial shit. The audience is like, 'Aah!' Like slack-jawed. Maybe they shit their pants.
[pause]
Ruth: I want the whole room to boo me. Like, that's how much they hate me. But still, make it about her, but she's gotta win the match.
[Mighty Tom grabs Big Kurt and attempts to clothesline him, but he misses. Big Kurt runs to the ropes, but Mighty Tom shoulder tackles him]
Mighty: How about a shoulder tackle? That's strong.
Debbie: Yeah.
Ruth: Yeah, well...
Big: How about a drop kick, huh? Like this.
[Big Kurt drop kicks Mighty Tom. Mighty Tom headbutts Big Kurt in the stomach]
Mighty: Ha! How about a headbutt? No? Need more? Okay. Turnbuckle.
[Mighty Tom grabs Big Kurt and slams his head on the turnbuckle]
Debbie: That's kind of exciting.
Ruth: It's kind of cool. Maybe, but...
Big: How about something with a jump, like this?
[Big Kurt jumps to the second turnbuckle and does a flying cross body on Mighty Tom]
Big: Something like that, maybe?
Debbie: Yes, that. I wanna... I wanna do that.

[Bash starts collecting checks from guests]
Bash: Wow. Uh... Hester, Martin, I... I know we've just met, but I'm gonna hug you.
[Bash hugs Martin before they walk away. Ruth gives Bash a check, but Birdie grabs it from her]
Birdie: Now that... is misappropriation of solicited funds.
[places check inside her dress]
Birdie: What's your name?
Ruth: Ruth.
[clears throat]
Ruth: Ruth Wilder.
Birdie: My housekeeper's name is Ruth. She's wonderful. She cuts my fruit up into little pieces.
[pause]
Birdie: You know, I've always been embarrassed by Bash's obsession with wrestling. I've been embarrassed by a lot of things my son chooses to spend his time doing... but wrestling always sounded like... pure trash. But what you said... now that, is the first time I have come close to getting what all the fuss is about. So... thank you.
[Birdie looks at Bash]
Birdie: Now, tell me again, what do you need?
Bash: Nine thousand for a venue?
Birdie: No. I'm not giving you any more money. But we do have... a ballroom at the Hayworth. Unless that's too fancy for wrestling.
Bash: No, it's great. It's, it's perfect.
Birdie: Give me the checks.
[Bash hands her the checks before she walks away]
Ruth: You should hug her.
Bash: No, we don't do that.

Gregory: You wanna feel Russian, you must drink vodka.
[Ruth and Gregory toast and drink]
Ruth: Oh. Wow. That's... strong. Guess I'd better get used to it.
[Russian accent]
Ruth: Zoya drinks like a sailor and swears like a fish.
Gregory: Fish don't talk.
Ruth: Hoo. Really feeling that. Probably should've had breakfast.
Gregory: You want some sturgeon on rye bread?
Ruth: Aw, look at you being a considerate date.
Gregory: This is not date. I have woman, sometimes. She gets mad at me. She says, uh, I don't take her out enough.
[Ruth looks at the ice sculpture of a horse head used to serve vodka]
Ruth: So... what's with the horse head.
Gregory: My cousin Michael is chess champion. Eighteen-and-under division. Very good.
Ruth: Oh, so, this is, like, a celebration for him or... ? Did he die? I can't tell from the faces.
Gregory: He's new to America. Was very difficult for him to get out. So, we sponsor him, make big noise. And Russia likes Jews only slightly more than faggots.
Ruth: Oh, I didn't know you were Jewish.
Gregory: I wear a giant chai.
Ruth: Oh... I thought that was a cat.
Michael: [Russian] No! No! I change my mind. Fuck religion! Don't touch my penis!
[two men drag Michael to a chair]
Ruth: What's going on?
Gregory: His bris. Now that we're in America, we're free to be Jews. Is covenant. We celebrate.
[Gregory gives Ruth another shot of vodka]
Michael: Nyet!

Sam: Now, here you are. You're ripe. Fecund. A custodian of new life. You're a... you're a fertile harvest goddess. Now... pull your shoulders back, and, and strut like you own the ring.
[Melrose starts skipping]
Sam: What is that?
Melanie: Oh, I added...
Sam: I said strut, like you own the ring.
Melanie: Yeah, but...
Sam: No. That's like a saunter. All right. Okay. Now stick your belly out a little bit. You're pregnant. Everything is fine. Everything is ideal. Until... the Homewrecker arrives. She has nothing. No man, no love, no friends. Her hair is brown, the color of shit.
[disgusted look on Ruth's face]
Sam: All right. Now lunge and miss. Wake up, Ruth! Time to act. Lunge and miss.
[Ruth lunges toward Melrose, but Melrose dodges her]
Sam: Yes. Great. Now it's time for the big move. You're gonna kick her in the stomach, set off a miscarriage that will ruin not one life, not two lives, but three lives in the process. Let's go! Kick! It's like a punch with your leg.
Ruth: Can I do the lockup instead, where I hug her?
Sam: Oh my God. No. Kick!
[Ruth barely kicks Melrose, who hurls herself to the ropes]
Sam: Yeah. Give words to the pain.
Melanie: Oh my God, it hurts! Fuck! Am I having a miscarriage? Ah! Oh no! Oh no! Am I bleeding?
Sam: All right, give me the ketchup bottle.
Melanie: I feel like I'm bleeding! Oh, someone help!
Sam: Since we're not making Apocalypse now, let's add a little fun back in.
[Sam squirts ketchup on Melrose's crotch, then all over Ruth]
Sam: Yeah. Now that is a fuckin' miscarriage.
[Ruth steps out of the ring in disgust while Cherry gets up and leaves and Debbie smiles]

Sam: Jesus Christ. Fucking actresses. All right, I'm feeling generous. Sophie's Choice, why should I pick you and not her? Go. Girl fight.
Ruth: I'm a real actress. I will work my ass off, and I will make you believe me when I do stuff, even if it's just hair pulling.
Sam: Well, that was a very nice pitch. Very earnest. What about you?
[pause]
Carmen: My dad's Goliath Jackson.
Salty: Holy shit!
Sam: Holy shit, why?
Salty: He's a giant. I mean... he's a legend in the ring, but he's also literally... gigantic. And the brothers too. Mighty Tom Jackson and Big Kurt Jackson.
Sam: No shit.
Salty: The Lumberjacksons.
Ruth: The Lumberjacksons?
[Salty shakes Carmen's hand]
Salty: It's an honor to meet you.
Carmen: Thanks.
Sam: Hard sell, but I'm gonna have to go with the dynasty. You're out.
Ruth: Why? Because my dad was a high school science teacher and not some famous giant?
Sam: Maybe. Or 'cause I don't like your face, or your ass. I-I-I don't know. Maybe I like both of them too much. I-I don't... I don't have to explain myself. That's the beauty of being a director. You're out.
[Ruth walks out of the ring]

Ruth: Are you having fun?
Debbie: Just 'cause we're at a party doesn't mean we're at all okay. If you talk to me again, I'll throw you through the fucking window.

Sam: All right, where's my real actress? Where's Strindberg?
Ruth: [raises hand] Oh, here!
Sam: Mm-hmm.
Sam: Know any good party tricks?
Ruth: Um... I can do, um... Audrey Hepburn winning an Oscar for Roman Holiday.
Sam: Hmm.
Ruth: [imitating Audrey Hepburn] I am truly, truly grateful... and terribly happy.
Sam: Very winsome.
Ruth: Yeah.
Sam: Where's your friend?
Ruth: Oh. Um... who?
Sam: You know, that smoking hot blonde who kicked your ass the other day. Where's she? How come she's not here?
Ruth: She's probably at home in Pasadena with her baby.
Sam: Why isn't she here?
Ruth: She's not supposed to be here. She wasn't auditioning.
Tammé: Yeah, she just came to stomp the homewrecker.
[silence]
Ruth: Oh! Oh... I see what happened. You all thought that was real, didn't you? No, we planned that.
Jenny: Oh my gosh, of course! This makes total sense. She's on a soap.
Sam: [looking at Ruth] You're on a soap?
Jenny: No. No no. Not her, the pretty one. The one who slapped her. She's Laura Morgan on Paradise Cove. Until... Until... she had to have reconstructive surgery after a year-long coma.
Ruth: Also known as getting written off the show. But I love her, she's great.
Sam: Wait, what's her name?
Jenny: Debbie Eagan. She was also in one episode of Murder, She Wrote. I watch a lot of Murder, she wrote and Wheel of Fortune, TV in general.
Cherry: Are you done? 'Cause some of us like to work.

Debbie: You drag me here at the ass-crack of dawn...
Sam: It's early morning. It's nice. It's... it's quiet.
Debbie: Look, I have tolerated her being here because I, uh... well, I actually enjoy watching you make her feel like shit, but we have an unspoken rule that we stay as far away from each other as possible.
Sam: All right, well, it's time to break that rule. You said, 'Find me a great heel.' And she's a perfect heel for your face.
Debbie: Sam, I am not working with her.
Sam: You are a bright shining star. She is a dirty, nasty, stepped-in-dog-shit heel.
[Ruth runs back in the gym with paper towels to clean the spilled tea]
Sam: You are USA. She's Soviet Union. It's the title card for the pilot. It's the main event, Debbie.
Ruth: [Russian accent] In Soviet Union, we clean with rubles and hide paper towels under mattress.
[pause]
Ruth: Nothing? That was solid.
Sam: She was killing the other day with that. All right? I, I swear.
[looks at Ruth]
Sam: Do the thing I like.
[Ruth gets up]
Ruth: [Russian accent] I am Zoya... the Destroya! You are weak capitalist dog. I am noble Soviet bear!
[pause]
Sam: Okay. Do it in the ring. It'll look better up there.
Ruth: Okay.
[Ruth runs in the ring]
Sam: This way, you can see what she can do. All right? Just watch, Debbie. Watch.

Debbie: [Ruth and Debbie walk outside to the hotel's entrance. Debbie shows Ruth the entrance's marquee] Oh, come on. I thought seeing our name in lights would cheer you up.
Ruth: Technically, it's Bash's name in lights.
Debbie: Well, that would... explain why nobody knows who the fuck I am or what I do. Look, we may never open a show in Las Vegas ever again. Just take a moment and appreciate what is right in front of you, so you don't miss it.
[Ruth looks at Debbie]
Debbie: Hey, this is me speaking as your producer. Everyone is up. Don't bring them down into your... sinkhole of despair.
Chad: [Debbie takes a smoke before Chad the parking valet notices them] Hey. That was fun last night.
Debbie: No, Todd, I... What did we say? I'm not... I'm working.
Chad: It's Chad.
[Chad gets in the car and leaves]
Ruth: Really?
Debbie: Yeah, really. He's 25. I'm single. Smoke 'em if you got 'em.

[Ruth practices her zip-line stunt, but is stuck halfway]
Ruth: Uh... oh... ugh! It's stuck! There's something on the rope.
Cherry: Can you like, scooch and get over it?
Ruth: No. I...
Debbie: Oh, my God. Careful.
Ruth: Why don't you just cut me down, and I'll fall from the sky like everything else today?
Cherry: No. Not on my watch. Just stay there. I'll go get a ladder.

Ruth: Hey, Mallory. It's Ruth Wilder. I was hoping to get some feedback on my audition.
Mallory: Have you been hiding in here for an hour?
[Mallory exits the toilet stall]
Ruth: Can you at least tell me who got the part? Was it Jeanie Barton?
Mallory: She's... in the mix.
Ruth: You bring me in a lot. And you never cast me. If there something I need to change, I wanna change it.
Mallory: [sighs] Every director says, 'Bring me someone I don't know. Someone I haven't seen. I want a girl who's real.' So I bring you in so they can see that they don't actually want the thing they think they want.
[pause]
Mallory: Look, I do cast some experimental projects on the side, if you are open to that kind of thing.
Ruth: What kind of thing?
Mallory: Would you consider erotica?
Ruth: Porn? Like, in the Valley?
Mallory: Obviously, I'm not suggesting you go have sex on camera... unless that's something you're interested in.
Ruth: What I'm interested in are real parts. Not secretaries telling powerful men their wives are on line two.
Mallory: You read the man's part on purpose, didn't you?
Ruth: It's the better part.
Mallory: No shit. That's why we gave it to Steve Guttenberg.

[Sheila answers the phone]
Sheila the She: Hello?
Stacey: I'm calling from Hellmann's Mayonnaise. Can you take a survey?
Sheila the She: A survey?
Stacey: Yes, yes. Mm-hmm.
Sheila the She: About mayonnaise?
Stacey: Yes, about mayonnaise.
Sheila the She: I always have time for condiments.
Stacey: Perfect.
[Ruth walks out of the bathroom]
Ruth: Oh, that shower is the best.
Sheila the She: No, I'm quite fastidious about following instructions on the label. Personal lubricant?
[Ruth sighs]
Sheila the She: No, I'm not sure I understand...
[Ruth grabs the phone and hangs up]

[while rehearsing the opening match between the Red Scare and the Beatdown Biddies]
Sam: All right, so we do the match. Do the match.
[Ruth and Jenny charge towards Dawn and Stacey]
Dawn: Wait, what are you doing?
Sam: Do the match.
Stacey: Yeah, Russian. We're gonna make your bottom red, just like your politics.
[Stacey starts spanking Ruth]
Ruth: I think we should address the Challenger in the show, hit it head-on.
Stacey: Why? To make everyone cry?
Ruth: Yes, exactly. For catharsis.
Dawn: What is that? One of your theater terms?
Sam: All right, now let's kick those Biddies out of the ring.
Stacey: Yeah, out of the ring. Out of the show. Maybe they died in the Challenger explosion.
Jenny: Stacey, too soon.
Sam: Oh, terrific. I can't wait to hear this bitching for the next three months.

Salty: Next.
[Ruth and Carmen crawl into the ring, preparing to do the hair mare. Carmen is about to grab Ruth by the hair when Ruth backs away]
Ruth: Please! I beg you! I am not your enemy!
Carmen: You stole.
Ruth: Bread. For my family!
Sam: W-What the fuck is this?
Salty: Just do the move.
Ruth: We are. We are. We're just motivating it with backstory.
[pause, then Ruth reminds Carmen of her next line]
Ruth: [singing] There is a law...
Carmen: There is a law, and you broke it. And now, you will pay the ultimate price.
[Carmen extends her hand before Ruth approaches to have her hair pulled]
Sam: Okay, all right. That's it. Number 30, number 22, thank you.
Ruth: What? Why?
Sam: What do you mean, 'Why?' I gave you basic direction. You didn't follow it. You're both out.
Ruth: There are no scenes to read, no character work, so yes, we improvised.

[a drunk Sam arrives at the motel]
Ruth: What's going on? I left a million messages with your...
[notices the heavy smell of alcohol]
Ruth: service. Jesus. You smell like a distillery.
Sam: Well, yeah, that's what happens if you, you drink for three days straight.
Ruth: Well, I told everyone you were at Esalen meditating. So, go take a shower, and meet us at the Hayworth.
Sam: Wait. Why?
Ruth: Sam! We are making this thing. Today. Bash's mom gave us a ballroom. Jenny's doing costumes, Sheila's on sound, I did the props. We are all hanging on by a thread.
Sam: Justine's my kid.
[pause]
Ruth: Oh.
Sam: She told me at that fucking party. And I didn't... You know, I didn't handle it well, but, but... that's no surprise. But I mean, look at me. I'm no... I'm no father figure. I mean...
Ruth: Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Go talk to her.
Sam: I don't know what to say. I mean, fuck, I don't even know which room is hers.
[pause]
Ruth: All right, come on. Come on. Come on.

Debbie: What do you think of Sandy?
Sam: I think she's probably dynamite in the sack.
Debbie: I don't like her.
Sam: Well, sure. Nobody likes the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Debbie: I forgot how much I love talking to you.
[Ruth approaches them]
Ruth: Hear me out. We have Britannica, a character in our show who could easily speak to this morning's events. How sometimes even the smartest people get things wrong. Like, how we thought the world was flat. Or... bloodletting.
Debbie: Ruth, please let this go.
Ruth: It just happened. And putting on a show is about having a shared emotional experience, so... It's Liberty Belle, Britannica, or Zoya, in an act of genuine Soviet contrition.
Sam: Okay. Look, Ruth, I know you made fun of national heroes as they plunged to their deaths. And... And you feel guilty. I... I get it. But unless we make this show a group therapy session and bring up the house lights, and everybody joins hands and starts talking about their feelings, you're not gonna get what you're lookin' for.

Melanie: And then I said, 'Oh God, the Baby!' You know, 'What's happening to the baby?' And then, you know, I squirted ketchup out of my vagina.
Sam: That was terrible. I, I didn't buy a single second of that. But, let's not throw out the baby with the bathwater. Oh, sorry, maybe it was a wrong metaphor. Sorry. I think there's something here. Look, I know you were just being an asshole, but if this were a real scene, there would be context, there'd be circumstances, there'd be characters, right? Legacy?
Carmen: Um...
Sam: Al right. Let's get inside this thing. What happened? The miscarriage, was it an accident? Was it, was it bad sushi?
Justine: She was kicked in the stomach by her Guatemalan swim coach who was jealous she lost her virginity to the captain of the diving team.
Sam: Wow. Good. Good. Kick in the stomach. I like that. Swim coach, I don't know. We can lose him. We need a better assailant. What animal would kick a pregnant woman in the belly? What kind of person would ruin the life of a gorgeous, successful, pregnant woman? What kind of homewrecker would do that?
[Ruth tries to hide in the crowd]
Sam: Ruth! This doesn't seem like too much of a stretch for you. Why don't you come in the ring? Join us.
Ruth: I want to, but I'm really not feeling well.
Sam: You know, Gene Kelly had the flu when he did the title number of Singin' in the Rain.
Ruth: It's true, he did.
[Ruth gets up and approaches the ring]
Sam: Look at this asshole. She doesn't care about anyone but herself. She's gonna destroy lives. Even tiny lives that haven't started yet. You're a horrible person, and you don't deserve to live.
Ruth: I think I deserve to live.
Sam: Hey, Uta Hagen. All right, take some fucking direction for a minute. All right, is that too much to ask? It's not about you. I'm trying to see if this skit works. Now circle the other one.
[Ruth and Melrose circle each other]
Sam: Okay, good. Okay, shit-stirrer. Let's work on your side. Because if there's one thing I've learned in my illustrious career, it's that you can't rely on a blood rig to sell a performance. Who are you? What kind of woman were you before you lost everything?
Melanie: I feel like I was the kind of...
Sam: Wait, I got it. You're smart. You're ambitious. Talented. But nobody sees that. All they see is the blonde knockout.
Melanie: Yeah, but I'm not blonde.
Sam: All right, shut the fuck up.
Melanie: Okay.
Stacey: I think he's talking about me.
Dawn: [pointing at Debbie] No. They're talking about her.
Stacey: That makes sense.

[Patrick prepares the ribbon-cutting ceremony with Rhonda]
Patrick: This is my favorite part. Calabasas homeowners, are you ready to save?
[total silence from the crowd]
Patrick: I can't hear you.
[still total silence, as Patrick prepares to cut the ribbon]
Ruth: [Russian accent] Nyet! Nyet! Stop this disgrace! Patio Town...
[spits on the ground]
Ruth: ... is disgusting. Capitalism at its worst. So much quality. So much choices. One store, 50 different types of chair. In Soviet Union, we have one chair. We take turns to sit in him. You miss your turn, too bad. You sit on floor for rest of year. This is the greatness of communism.
Sam: BOOOOO!
[crowd boos at Ruth]
Bash: Yeah, boo!
Ruth: [Russian accent] Okay, okay. I know why you boo. Because so many cash register. At Patio Town, you never get to stand in line. In Soviet Union, line is like cocktail party. Where else you have conversation and KGB don't hear?
[crowd laughs]
Patrick: Here we go.
[Patrick cuts the ribbon]

Ruth: [playing Zoya the Destroyer, a Soviet wrestler] I eat stars and stripes.
Debbie: [playing Liberty Belle, an American wrestler] That's because you don't have any food.

Sebastian: Ronnie takes out his pen, signs the picture, and he says, 'It's a good thing Bonzo is a Democrat. Otherwise, he'd have won the nomination.'
[the ladies laugh]
Debbie: You're hilarious.
Sam: Ladies. Hi. I see you've met... Sebastian Howard, our producer.
Sebastian: Uh, 'Bash', please.
Sam: Just know that he's the one signing your checks, so, be nice.
Sebastian: I don't like to talk about money, okay? I'm the patron of the arts. And wrestling is an art, despite my mother's opinion, which is wrong.
Sam: I thought you were in Peru.
Sebastian: Yeah. I... I... I came back early. Loving the casting!
[grabs Sheila]
Sebastian: Even Miss Serious over here. So, so, so, what, what moves have you guys learned?
Cherry: We've been mostly learning to fall on our backs without hurting ourselves.
Arthie: And pain faces.
Sebastian: W-w-what about, uh, powerbombs? Or, or DDTs? Salty's famous for his DDTs. Where is Salty, by the way?
Sam: Yeah, yeah, Bash. Salty didn't work out. Cherry's our new wrestling coach now.
[Cherry waves at Bash]
Sebastian: Um... d-does she have any wrestling experience?
Cherry: Um... I'm right here.
Sam: Yeah, all right. Anyway, you know that fans are gonna tune in for the moves, but they're not gonna stay tuned in unless we give them what, ladies?
Reggie: Blood!
Melanie: Tits!
Sam: Storytelling. Storytelling.
Melanie: Oh.
Sam: Now, I know it's exciting to be in the midst of a big-shot producer, but I have something even shinier. A script. Hot off the Xerox. I only made ten copies, so we're gonna have to share 'em. And I'm just gonna cast as we move along, starting with Ruth.
Ruth: Yes! Anything you need.
Sam: Uh, yeah. I'm gonna need you to read stage directions.
[disappointed look in Ruth's face]

[Ruth hands her headshot photo]
Sam: Ruth Wilder. Looks like you.
Ruth: Yeah. It's a headshot.
[Sam looks at Ruth's credentials]
Sam: Oh, Strindberg. Who the fuck is that?
Ruth: Oh, it's a playwright.
Sam: I'm kidding. I know who Strindberg is. I'm not an idiot. So what are you, like a... like a real actor?
Ruth: Yeah. I've done a bunch of plays in Omaha. At a little spot called the Blue Barn Theatre. I did a film a few years back. I've also done extensive mask work and clowning workshops.
[pause]
Ruth: How much acting will there be on this show?
Sam: As opposed to what?
Ruth: Hair pulling?
Sam: You don't like wrestling?
Ruth: Well, I don't really know wrestling.
Sam: You don't think wrestling is acting?
Ruth: It's not, is it? It's... It's more like a sport with costumes? Or... sorry, are you... Are you hiring actors to play wrestlers or are we the wrestlers?
Sam: Yes.
Ruth: Which one?
Sam: Do people think you're pretty? Because, like, I'm looking at you. One second, I think, 'Fuck yeah, she's hot.' And then the next second, I'm like, 'I don't know. Is she? Really?' I mean, you just have one of those faces that kind of... changes. Like, 'Ehh... Hmm.' I don't know.
Ruth: What the hell does that mean?
Sam: It means I don't know... Ruth. Ruth. Ruth. That is not a great name.

[Sam sees Ruth and Bash staring at an art piece]
Sam: Are you guys tripping?
Ruth: We're appreciating this piece of art.
Sam: Oh yeah. I like art that tells you exactly what it is.
[art piece is a neon sign that reads 'Neon']
Sebastian: Can you give us a little alone time?
Ruth: Oh, don't mind me. I'm just hiding from Debbie.
[Sam stares at Ruth]
Ruth: I'll go.
[Ruth walks away]
Sam: So what is this? The old Malibu ambush? You're gonna ply me with some drinks and tell me you don't like my vision?
Sebastian: Sam, I hired you to direct a wrestling show. Which I came up with. It was my idea.
Sam: It was the seed of an idea. I'm... I'm trying to elevate the form.
Sebastian: And that is so bitchin', but can you maybe also not do that? When I said that I wanted something different, I meant the way Ms. Pac-Man is different from Pac-Man. As in, almost the exact same thing, but with a bow in her hair. Not set in the desert after a nuclear war.
Sam: Oh, okay. So I see, you don't want story.
Sebastian: The Iron Sheik. right? What's his story? Where does he come from?
Sam: I don't even know who that is.
Sebastian: He's a fucking wrestler, Sam, okay? And it doesn't matter because he just wears a head scarf and he hates America. That's all you have to do. Bottom line: your ideas are just too complicated. We need to simplify. Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling. That's what we're doing here. Gorgeous Ladies. Wrestling.
Sam: Okay. All due respect. Okay, you hired me, because I'm a professional. I know how to do this. I've made eight films; two of which are taught in colleges. I'm not some 25-year-old child who thinks he knows everything. I need a drink.
[Sam walks away]
Sebastian: Try the punch.
Sam: I'm not twelve!

Sam: [through the intercom] Ladies, hello. Hello, Gorgeous Ladies of GLOW. It's opening night. And... And listen, you know, I just wanna...
[clears throat]
Sam: I just wanna say that, uh, you... you've all worked very hard...
[Debbie turns off the intercom]
Debbie: Well, I did wanna say something... to all of you. Um... Ooh! I wasn't sure that we could, uh, bounce back after this morning.
Dawn: What happened this morning?
[everyone looks at Dawn]
Debbie: The Challenger.
Reggie: Oh, my God! I forgot about it too.
Yolanda: Oh, it's official. We're assholes.
Debbie: No, no, no. You were professionals. You were sad, but you pulled it together and you did your jobs. And tonight, thanks to your hard work...
Ruth: I'm... I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Can... Can we just take a moment of silence? We're so lucky to all be here together. I... I know we're not acknowledging anything in the show, but... can we have a moment? Is that okay?
Sheila the She: Yeah.
Debbie: Sure.
[the Ladies take their moment of silence in memory of the Challenger crew before Rhonda enters the dressing room with some balloons]
Rhonda: Sorry, I need to put these somewhere. Bash doesn't want balloons at the...
Sheila the She: Shh!
Carmen: We're having a moment of silence for the Challenger.
Rhonda: Oh, shit. Sorry.
[to the hotel staff]
Rhonda: Um, you can just put them in here.
[the bellboys drop the balloons in the dressing room]
Carmen: What's his problem with balloons?
Rhonda: Oh, no, no, no! Just... Just leave 'em. Um, they float about, and floating reminds him of the astronauts.
Melanie: That makes sense.
[as the Ladies continue their moment of silence, some of them begin playing with the balloons]

Sam: Take the day off.
Ruth: But I'm here. I'm ready to work.
Sam: Well, you can't work if I can't get your scene partner into the goddamn ring.

[Debbie lands the flying cross body for the pin]
Bash: This match is over, folks!
Debbie: [whispers] You okay?
Ruth: [whispers] You flew! It was epic! Go get your Crown!
Bash: Zoya's been destroya'd! I can't believe it! I can't believe it, folks! Just when I thought I'd seen it all, a young country girl jumps out of the stands, into the ring, winning it all!
[Bash enters the ring]
Bash: Honey, what's your name?
Debbie: [Southern accent] My name... My name is Liberty Belle. And I'm just a small-town girl, trying to do the right thing, the thing that any American girl would do in the face of evil, and that, no matter how... I'm so overwhelmed! Thank you all!
[Bash hands the GLOW Crown to Debbie]
Bash: It's a beautiful moment on a beautiful day. There's your crown, sweetheart. Like a princess.

Ruth: [Yiddish accent] Shalom, everyone! Shalom! Mazel, mazel! I am Gittel, the Orthodox Warrior! It's all about the Jews now.
Melanie: What the fuck is this?
Ruth: [Yiddish accent] I will beat you with a chicken. I will lock you up with my completely covered legs and guilt you into submission.
Sam: What now?
Ruth: It's my new character. See... Look, you're right, you're right. If Russia can't go to war with America, what's the point? Right? So, I'm gonna take...
[points at Arthie]
Ruth: the terrorist, and we are gonna kill. I'm gonna... I'm gonna build settlements all over your ass, and then you're gonna try to blow me up, but it won't work because I'm too clever and thrifty. And then I'll just... Like I'll enter the ring with 17 children who have those little curls and... Oh God! It's gonna be great! I mean, uh, don't get me wrong. I love the Russians. I love the Russians. Could have gone all the way with the Russians, who are... They're pretty big Streisand fans, by the way. But then again, who isn't? I gotta adjust. So, it's all about going with the flow. Just... Come on, bitch. Watch me drop some Talmud on your head.
Arthie: Um...
Melanie: You don't...
Arthie: I, I've been working on stuff with Melrose.
[frustrated look on Ruth's face]
Ruth: What am I supposed to do?
[pause]
Debbie: [Southern accent] Typical whiny Soviet.
[Debbie drops ice pack and heads down to the ring]
Debbie: [Southern accent] 'What should I do? I'm so cold, so I only dress in gray and build things out of cinder block.' Lousy Commies. You think your nukes are so big? Wait till you get a load of our warheads. Because this is the greatest country on Earth, and I am willing to fight for it.
Sam: Yeah.
Debbie: Let's go, you dirty Russian.

[Debbie enters Ruth and Sheila's room, while Sheila is watching Jeopardy!]
Debbie: Hey.
Ruth: Hey.
Debbie: I was gonna wear red.
Ruth: I can wear something else.
Sheila the She: What is The King and I?
Debbie: [turns around] Could you, um, give us one minute?
Sheila the She: No.
Debbie: Okay.
[Debbie turns back and approaches Ruth]
Debbie: So, I don't wanna look like an asshole on Friday.
Ruth: Oh, don't be so hard on yourself. Your wrestling has really improved.
Debbie: Oh, no, we're both gonna look like assholes. I mean, Cherry's moves are amateur hour. You know, there's no impact, and it's not exciting. At the men's match, Steel Horse rode in on a motorcycle and did, like, I don't... backflips and shit.
Ruth: You went to a wrestling match?
Debbie: Yeah, you're not the only one who does research.
Ruth: Well... I'll put in extra time, happily. Whatever you want. We can work around your schedule. Randy, whatever else you have going on with... life.
Debbie: [turns around and walks near the TV, noticing the next Jeopardy! answer] I'm not interested in getting coffee with you, or talking to you about my life, but, uh... we need to step it up, and Shaft's mom isn't gonna get us there.
Debbie: What is a brioche?

[as the ladies practice their lockups, Melrose and Rhonda start singing]
Melanie: [singing] Hold me now. Oh, oh, warm my heart. Stay with me. Let loving start, let loving start. Oh, hold me now...
Cherry: Some of us are trying to work.
Melanie: They're slow dancing. They just fully did a spin.
Reggie: Ow! That's not what we practiced.
[Reggie carries Arthie to the corner]
Cherry: All right, um...
[points at Ruth]
Cherry: You.
[points at Melrose]
Cherry: And you.
Melanie: Oh.
Cherry: Let's see what you got.
Melanie: Okay.
[gets off the top turnbuckle]
Melanie: Come on, drama nerd. Hold me now.
Ruth: Okay.
[they get into a lockup]
Ruth: I think it's like this. And then I'm gonna spin around, and we're gonna put your arm around my neck.
Melanie: Okay.
[Ruth grabs Melrose's arm and turns around]
Ruth: Then here, like this...
Melanie: And then just sort of, you know, like this...
[Melrose starts grinding her hips against Ruth's back]

Ruth: Maybe I could find an ushanka? You know, one of those big fur hats?
Sheila the She: If you need fur, I know a guy. We could also hunt it. There's a feral cat colony in that empty lot down the street.

[Sam enters the gym]
Sam: Okay. I said I'd do anything, so here we fucking are. Okay.
[clears throat]
Sam: Hello, ladies. I'm Sam Sylvia. Today, we're just gonna be doing first looks and first cuts.
Ruth: Are there sides?
Arthie: I didn't get any sides.
Sam: This is how this is gonna go, all right? No more talking. Just sit there, and look at me and smile. Okay?
Cherry: How about you tell us what the hell we're doing here?
Sam: Oh... hi, Cherry.
Cherry: Hey, baby.
Sam: How you doin', baby? Mm-hmm.
Cherry: Good. This another one of your trashy vampire movies?
Sam: What? No. This is not a movie. This is GLOW.
Ruth: Sorry, what's GLOW?
Sam: Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling. This is a wrestling television show. Only ladies. Lady wrestling. Just like the big guys, but girls. Get it? Girl on girl.
Arthie: So like, Hulk Hogan?
Sam: If one of you turns out to be like Hulk Hogan, I've hit the fucking jackpot.
[several girls raise their hands]
Sam: All right, take it easy. This is what's happening, all right. Yes, this is a wrestling show. And yes, you're all gonna have to actually wrestle on cable television for thousands of people. That means... tit grabs. Cunt punches. Shrinky dinks. That move that looks like a catfight, but fancy. Did I say cunt punches? Okay, good. So, if any of you have a problem with, uh, doing a wrestling show, I suggest you leave now.
[half the attendees begin to leave the gym]
Sam: Thank you. Really? You're going? Thank you.
[Sam lights up a cigarette. Jenny is about to walk out when she decides to stay]
Sam: What happened there? You just... decided? All right, for those remaining, congratulations. You've made it through the first round of cuts. Pretty painless, right? All right, so I guess what we gotta do now is, I'm gonna sit over there, and you guys are gonna line up, get your headshots out, and I'm also gonna have you sign a waiver in case of, uh, serious injury and/or death.

Ruth: Gregory. Just the man I wanted to see. Hey, how do you say 'Gregory' in Russian?
Gregory: Gregory. Uh, excuse me. I have to go.
Ruth: Go? Where?
Gregory: Do you need something? I know the machine is out from diet orange, but there is grape.
Ruth: Oh, um, I'm not really a soda person. Listen, Gregory... I need to pick your brain.
Gregory: I don't need to pay for it.
Ruth: 'Pay for it'?
Gregory: Brain picking, dick licking... I have woman... sometimes... She gets mad at me. Says I don't listen.
Ruth: I am not a hooker.
Gregory: Of course not. Uh... how you saying? Escort.
Ruth: I'm an actress. I'm playing a character. Zoya the Destroya, the Soviet Scourge.
Gregory: I have cousin Zoya. You look nothing like her. She's a big girl, and good personality.
Ruth: I need to learn more about being Russian, and you're the only Russian I know.
Gregory: You don't know me. And I have to be going.
Ruth: Can I come with you?
Gregory: It's a family function.
Ruth: Families love me.
[pause]
Ruth: Look. I really want to be an authentic representation, not some cartoon Russian villain. Out of respect for your culture. I think you deserve better than Boris and Natasha.
[pause]
Gregory: Fine. Go change your clothes. Uh, and don't dress like what you say you're not.

Ruth: In this world, there are good guys and there are bad guys. And we are the good guys. You see that name on my door? It's my father's name, son of a bitch. But this isn't about him. This is about justice. This is about holding on to what's ours. This is about my company and my name. And I will not be bullied into submission.
[pause]
Ruth: Whoo! Oh... I just wanna say thank you so much for bringing me in for this. There are not roles like this for women right now. It's really... ooh. It's really great.
Mallory: You were reading the man's part.
[pause]
Ruth: Oh, God. Uh... Sorry. That's... 'cause I just thought Mel was short for Melanie, and, and then the other part was...
Mallory: Would you like to start over?
Ruth: Yes, I would.
Mallory: Okay.
[Assistant turns on camera]
Casting: This is about my firm and my name, and I will not be bullied into submission.
Ruth: [knocks on table] Sorry to interrupt. Your wife is on line two.
Mallory: Okay. Thank you, Ruth.

Ruth: [On the phone with Russell] Hey.
Russell: What a fucking morning. Were you watching?
Ruth: Yep.
Russell: Are you okay?
Ruth: Not really. So happy you're coming tonight.
Russell: Yeah, so, about that, um... I got called in to work. K-DTV needs 'man on the street post-tragedy' coverage. They're paying me overtime, which should cover the cost of our last phone bill.
[pause]
Russell: I'm sorry. I really wanted to be your date for opening.
Ruth: That's okay. Go to work. I'll call you later.
Russell: Good luck tonight.
[Ruth hangs up]

Ruth: Here's what I've learned: I really like candelabra sconces.
Debbie: And I've learned don't look directly into Bash's mom's eyes.
[Ruth smirks]
Debbie: Look, I know that Mark has been...
Ruth: Popping up a lot lately?
Debbie: Yeah. And I just... I appreciate you just getting the fuck out of the way. It's one less minefield.
[pause]
Debbie: He wants to work things out. He wants me to come home and try. Go to therapy.
Ruth: So, are you going to? What about the show?
Debbie: I don't know, okay? I mean, we might not even have a show. So...
[pause]
Ruth: Well, you'll get something else. You always have.
Debbie: I think... you know what the craziest part of this whole...
[Debbie makes an explosion gesture]
Debbie: ...mess is? Um... that... I actually like wrestling.
Ruth: Really?
Debbie: Yeah. I don't know, it's like I'm back... in my body... and it doesn't belong to Randy... or Mark. And I... I don't know, I'm, like, using it for me, and... I feel like a goddamn superhero.
[pause]
Debbie: But I don't know. It's such a shit show, you know? Even if we get all the money we need, what the fuck is this gonna look like? A lot of crap, probably. And, who knows if anyone's gonna watch this? We are not that good.
Ruth: I know, but...
[long pause, as both start to cry]
Debbie: Sometimes, I'm so sad you took away the option of us ever being able to have a normal fucking conversation.

Sheila the She: [after the Challenger explosion] Come on, don't worry. It was only the local news.
Carmen: Yeah, it wasn't that bad.
Ruth: I made fun of a national tragedy on live TV.
Carmen: You were just being a good heel. And... we don't know if it's a tragedy. Maybe they survived.
Sheila the She: The shuttle plunged into the ocean. They're dead.

[Sam exits his office to face the candidates]
Sam: Okay. Five minutes, everybody.
[Ruth storms in the gym, wearing makeup and a wrestling costume]
Ruth: Hey!
[Ruth points at Sam]
Ruth: You're wrong about me.
Sam: Yeah, I doubt it.
Cherry: Damn, girl.
[Ruth enters the ring. She takes off her cape and struggles to throw it out of the ring]
Ruth: How long must this... go on? This punishment? Haven't I served my term?
[stomps on ring]
Ruth: Can't I apply... for a pardon?
[grabs stool and threatens to throw it]
Ruth: You know what I feel like? I feel... all the time... like a cat...
[hisses]
Ruth: ...on a hot tin roof.
[stomps on ring, then does a forward roll]
Ruth: ...who has come here to save...
[jumps on the turnbuckle and points at the other candidates and Sam]
Ruth: You! And you! And You! From evil.
[gets down from turnbuckle and jumps to the ropes, barely balancing herself]
Ruth: Train. Say your prayers. Eat your vitamins. 'Cause, uh...

Sam: And now the moment you've been waiting for. The final match of the night.
Ruth: You're gonna be great.
Sam: Introducing... Liberty Belle!
[Sheila plays 'Theme of Exodus' on the keyboard, but Sam makes her stop]
Sam: Stop it.
[Debbie approaches the ring to USA chants by the crowd]
Debbie: [Southern accent] I'd like to call on the power of my three favorite Americans: Ronald Reagan, Larry Bird, and Jesus Christ himself!
Sam: And straight from Moscow. The commisasariat for the proletariat. Here to destroy our American way of life. The Cold War never looked hotter... Zoya the Destroyer!
[Ruth turns on her boombox to play Soviet music before entering the ring]
Debbie: [Southern accent] You've lost, Zoya. Americans will never give up their freedom!
[crowd cheers for Debbie]
Ruth: [Russian accent] Capitalist pig! I will neuter all your pet dogs and fill your swimming pools with borscht!
Debbie: [Southern accent] One last time: Defect or die.
Ruth: [Russian accent] Nyet! Prepare yourself for mutually-assured destruction!

[Debbie slaps Ruth, to the shock of the other ladies]
Debbie: I don't know... I don't know what I'm supposed to do.
Ruth: It just happened.
Debbie: Haven't you learned anything from that sad fucking scene study class? Things don't just happen. People make choices. They want things, and then they go for them.
Ruth: Can we go somewhere and talk about this?
Debbie: I don't wanna fucking talk to you. I wanna... I wanna kick you ass. And then I never want to see you again.
[Debbie chases after Ruth]
Ruth: No!
Debbie: Come on!
Ruth: I'm not gonna fight you!
Reggie: Fight her! Do it!
Debbie: Come on!
Ruth: Debbie!
[Debbie grabs Ruth from behind, but Ruth hits her in the face with her elbow]
Ruth: I'm sorry.
[Debbie chases after Ruth again]
Debbie: Fucker!
Arthie: Is this real?
Melanie: Who the fuck cares?
[as Sam watches Ruth and Debbie fight, he envisions them in an actual GLOW match. Salty snaps Sam out of it]
Salty: Sam! Sam! Should we call it?
Sam: Yeah. Call it.
[Salty slides in the ring to count the pinfall, as Debbie has Ruth pinned to the mat and Ruth helplessly looks at Sam]
Salty: One! Two! Three!

Carmen: It's really big.
Jenny: Yeah.
Ruth: We got this. Even if we totally change our lineup, we know the moves. And, we still have two hours to figure everything else out. That's plenty of time. And... And look. Sam said he'd get us pink ropes, he got us pink ropes.
Melanie: Loving the pink ropes, buddy!
Bash: Right? Arr!
[Bash shakes the top rope, which suddenly breaks off in one corner]
Ruth: Let's go find the dressing room. Just follow me.