500 Best Commander William Thomas 'Will' Riker Quotes

Captain William T. Riker: Commander Shelby, take an away team and confirm that the Borg are... asleep.
Commander: Delighted, sir.

Lt. Klag: My father was captured in battle by Romulans and not allowed to die. He eventually escaped.
Commander William T. Riker: Where is he now?
Lt. Klag: He is on our planet. He waits.
[Riker looks quizzically at the Tactics Officer]
Tactics: He waits for his death.
Lt. Klag: He will eventually fade of a natural illness and die, weakened and useless. Honorless. I will not see him.
Commander William T. Riker: He's your father!
Lt. Klag: A Klingon is his work, not his family. That is the way of things.

Cmdr. William Riker: [on the planet's stormy surface; echoing] Anybody?

Governor: Listening is a skill which seems to have evaporated with the heat of argument.
Riker: Speak softly, Governor. Those who cannot hear an angry shout may strain to hear a whisper.

Doctor: [Picard, Riker, Crusher, LaForge and Troi have assembled in the Observation Lounge to discuss Amanda Rogers, a new intern aboard the Enterprise, who mysteriously contained a warp core breach by sheer force of will alone] She's a little shaken up, but she's gonna be fine.
Commander William T. Riker: You said she was adopted. Could she be an alien?
Doctor: She's human. There's nothing more unusual about her. Not that my instruments can detect.
Captain: Commander, have you been able to determine the cause of the warp breach?
Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge: No, Sir. Everything was normal and then suddenly it's like the laws of physics went right out the window.
Q: [Q materialises in one of the empty chairs wearing his usual Starfleet uniform] And why shouldn't they? They're so inconvenient.
Captain: [a collective air of dismay suddenly descends on the room] Q!
Q: Mon Capitan.
Captain: Are you responsible for this incident in Engineering?
Q: [surprisingly upfront about it] Of course. I needed to find out if what I suspected about the girl were true.
Captain: That being?
Q: That she's a Q.
Counselor: Amanda's a Q?
Doctor: How is that possible? Her, her parents... her biological parents were human.
Q: Well, not exactly. They had assumed human form in order to visit Earth, I suppose for... for amusement. But in vulgar human fashion they proceeded to conceive a child...
[he winks at Beverly who looks thoroughly insulted]
Q: ... and then like mawkish humans they became attached to it. What is it about these squirming little infants that you find so appealing?
Doctor: I'm sure that's beyond your comprehension, Q.
Q: I desperately hope so.
Counselor: What happened to Amanda's parents?
Q: They died in an accident.
[that gets Picard's attention but keeps it to himself for now]
Q: None of us knew whether she had inherited the capacities of the Q but recently they've begun to emerge and er... as an expert in humanity... I was sent to investigate.
Commander William T. Riker: You... an expert in humanity?
Q: Not a very challenging field of study, I grant you.
Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge: Are you saying that you created a core breach just to test this girl?
Q: Uh huh.
Counselor: What would have happened if she couldn't stop it?
Q: Then I would have known she wasn't a Q.
Doctor: And now that you know - what do you intend to do?
Q: Instruct her. If this child does not learn how to control her power she may accidentally destroy herself... or all of you... or perhaps your entire galaxy?
Captain: I find it hard to believe that you're here to do us a favour.
Q: You're quite right. I wouldn't. But there are those in the Continuum...
[raises his eyes skyward]
Q: ... who have an over exaggerated sense of responsibility. They think that we need to take precautions to keep the little dear from running amok.
Doctor: And once you've taught her... then you'll go away?
Q: And leave her here? Of course not. She'll come back to the Continuum where she belongs.
Doctor: Wait a minute! You, you can't just come in here and take her away from everything she's ever known.
Q: [laughs that off] I assure you I can.
Doctor: She has plans for herself. She wants to have a career and a family.
Q: I'm rescuing her from that miserable existence.
Doctor: That miserable existence is all she's known for the last eighteen years. You have no right to take her away from it!
Q: [bored with the direction this conversation has taken] Mon Capitan, I really think that we need to speak privately.
[Q transports them both to Picard's Ready Room]
Q: Well, there, that's better. Crusher gets more shrill with each passing year.

Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge: If this works the way I think it will, once the invasive program starts spreading, it'll only be a matter of months before the Borg suffer total systems failure.
Captain: Comments?
Doctor: A question. What exactly is "total systems failure"?
Lt. Commander Data: The Borg are extremely computer-dependent. A systems failure will destroy them.
Doctor: I just think we should be clear about that. We're talking about annihilating an entire race.
Captain: Which under most circumstances would be unconscionable. But as I see it, the Borg leave us with little choice.
Commander William T. Riker: I agree. We're at war.
Doctor: There's been no formal declaration of war.
Counselor: Not from us, but certainly from them. They've attacked us at every encounter.
Captain: They've declared war on our way of life. We're to be assimilated.
Doctor: But even in war, there are rules. You don't kill civilians indiscriminately.
Commander William T. Riker: There are no civilians among the Borg.
Captain: Think of them as a single collective being. There's no one Borg who is more an individual than your arm or your leg.
Doctor: How convenient.
Captain: Your point, Doctor?
Doctor: When I look at my patient, I don't see a collective consciousness, I don't see a hive. I see a living, breathing boy who has been hurt and who needs our help. And we're talking about sending him back to his people as an instrument of destruction.
Captain: It comes down to this: we're faced with an enemy who are determined to destroy us, and we have no hope of negotiating a peace. Unless that changes, we're justified in doing anything we can to survive.

Commander William T. Riker: The simulation begins in one hour.
Lieutenant: You'll have warp drive, Captain, though it may not be what you expected.
Commander William T. Riker: I think that deserves some kind of explanation.
Lieutenant: We'll have warp 1 for about...
Wesley: Just under two seconds.
Commander William T. Riker: That's not long enough for an escape, but used as a surprise, it may give us a strategic advantage.
Lieutenant: Sir, all of this is theoretical.
Commander William T. Riker: And if your theory fails to pay off?
Lieutenant: Have you ever driven a Grenthemen water hopper?
Commander William T. Riker: Sure.
Lieutenant: Ever popped the clutch?
Commander William T. Riker: You're saying we're gonna stall the Hathaway?
Wesley: And the Enterprise will waltz right over and pulverize us.

Commander William T. Riker: I'm closer to Deanna than I've ever been to anyone, but last night, she was someone that I had never seen before.

Lieutenant: It is an unmapped system of six planets, sir.
Commander: Any of them inhabited?
Lieutenant: Not any longer, sir. The star went nova. All life in this system was destroyed approximately 1000 years ago.

Commander William T. Riker: [to Worf, who is dressed in a 19th-century suit] You'd be a big hit in London.

Commander William T. Riker: [about split pea soup] It's very healthy. Helps to keep you warm on cold Alaskan nights.
Soren: We prefer to stay warm by sleeping with a friend.
Commander William T. Riker: I see...
Soren: Not to mate. Just to sleep together - for warmth.
Commander William T. Riker: It still sounds better than pea soup.

[repeated line]
Commander William T. Riker: It's not real.

Lt. Cmdr. Elizabeth Paula Shelby: Captain Riker, based on our past relationship, there's no reason for me to expect to become your first officer, except that you need me. I know how to get things done, and I have the expertise in the Borg.
Captain William T. Riker: And you have a lot to learn, Commander.
Lt. Cmdr. Elizabeth Paula Shelby: Yes, sir.
Captain William T. Riker: Almost as much as I had to learn when I came on board as Captain Picard's first officer. A fact he reminded me of when I commented on what a pain in the neck you are.

[O'Brien has beamed Riker back from the research station]
Chief: Transporter room to bridge. He's aboard.
Commander William T. Riker: Why do you sound so surprised, Mr. O'Brien?
Chief: Well, for a moment, we weren't sure you left the space station in time.
Commander William T. Riker: In time for what?
Chief: It just exploded, sir.

Q: You seem to find this all very amusing.
Commander William T. Riker: I might - if we weren't on our way to help some suffering and dying humans, who...
Q: [dismissively] Ah, your species is always suffering and dying.

Commander William T. Riker: Those Ferengi have iron jaws.

Commander William T. Riker: We've got a problem. Our core fragment is going to pass by Moab IV in six days.
Captain: Isn't that exactly what we anticipated?
Commander William T. Riker: We didn't anticipate there would be someone living there.

Lieutenant: [on the Ornaran's and Brekkian's natural defensive powers] A natural electrical charge?
Commander William T. Riker: Formidable.
Lieutenant: Yes. And a difficult weapon to confiscate.

Commander William T. Riker: [on the bridge] Maybe we better talk out here; the observation lounge has turned into a swamp.

Commander William T. Riker: Commander Riker to the Enterprise.
Doctor: [over comm] This is the Enterprise, Crusher here.
Lieutenant: Must be worse up there than we thought.

[in one of Barclay's holo-adventures, Riker, La Forge and Troi encounter a smaller version of Riker dressed as a musketeer]
Holo: Am I late? Did I miss the fight?
Holo: [sees Riker] En garde!... You, sir... you have a familiar bearing. Is it possible our swords have crossed somewhere before?

Captain: Sometimes, Riker, the best way to fight is not to be there.
Commander William T. Riker: [citing Sun Tzu] Yes, sir. "He will triumph who knows when to fight and when not to fight."

Commander William T. Riker: [after Crusher has suggested to take care of Spot] Oh, by the way - you'll need this!
[throws her a phaser]

Commander William T. Riker: [reading from the diary entry of Colonel Richey] "I write this in the hope that it will someday be read by human eyes. I can only surmise at this point, but apparently, our exploratory shuttle was contaminated by an alien life form, which infected and killed all personnel except myself. I awakened to find myself here in the Royale Hotel, precisely as described in the novel I found in my room. And for the last 38 years, I have survived here. I have come to understand that the alien contaminators created this place for me out of some sense of guilt, presuming that the novel we had on board the shuttle about the Hotel Royale was, in fact, a guide to our preferred lifestyle and social habits. Obviously they thought that this was the world from which I came. I hold no malice toward my benefactors. They could not possibly know the hell that they have put me through. For it was such a badly-written book, filled with endless cliché and shallow characters... I shall welcome death when it comes."

Soren: My parents were pilots. I was flying with them before I could walk. As soon as I was old enough, I entered flight school. Krite was my instructor.
Commander William T. Riker: He had a good student.
Soren: "He"? Commander, there are no he's or she's in a species without gender.
Commander William T. Riker: Okay. For two days, I've been trying to construct sentences without personal pronouns. Now I give up. What should I use, 'it'? To us, that's rude.

[Riker and O'Brien are seeing Dr. Pulaski and Riker's father in deep embrace]
Commander William T. Riker: [surprised] They know each other.
Chief: No kiddin'. I know her too; but we don't do *that*.

Commander William T. Riker: [Riker has uncovered Barash's deception for a second time] Who are you? What's your part in all this?

Admiral: You *have* changed.
Commander William T. Riker: Changed?
Admiral: Just something the Captain and I were talking about. To be honest, I'm glad to see this kind of change in you, Will. State your opinion and stand by it. It's a far cry from the young man who used to sit at my helm and worry about pressing the wrong button.
Commander William T. Riker: A lot of things can change in twelve years, Admiral.
Admiral: Yes, they can. But it's important that a man changes the right things in his life. Not his sense of duty, not his sense of loyalty.
Commander William T. Riker: I'd like to think that I haven't changed those things, sir.
Admiral: I would like to think that too. Because those things say more about a man than the rank on his collar or the uniform he wears. They define him. - Twelve years ago, a lot of older and more seasoned officers turned away from their duty. But you stood up for what was right. I'm sorry, Will. I know the kind of man you are. I know that I can count on you again.

[last lines]
Lieutenant: Captain - you keep a saddle on board?
Commander William T. Riker: Mr. Worf, I'm surprised at you.
Doctor: Anyone who is an experienced rider naturally has his own saddle.
Counselor: It's perfectly normal.
Captain: Actually it came in handy. I only wish I'd had the opportunity to use it on a horse.
Lieutenant: [confused] Of course...

Ensign: We're adrift.
Commander William T. Riker: Just like the Brattain.

Lt. Cmdr. Data: Captain, the aliens have disappeared. And so has the shuttle.
Commander William T. Riker: Scan the sector.
Lt. Cmdr. Data: I have, sir.
Capt. Picard: Well... I suppose that is the end of Q.
[with a flash, Q appears on the bridge with a trumpet, accompanied by a mariachi band]
Q: AU CONTRAIRE, MON CAPITAINE! HE'S BACK!
[the band starts playing, accompanied by Q with gusto]

Commander William T. Riker: [Manua's version of Riker, as he tries to force himself on her] A princess in a very high tower.

Commander William T. Riker: [after Troi has performed the engineering qualification test] Congratulations - you just destroyed the Enterprise.

Commander William T. Riker: [playing poker against himself] Here's your fifty... and, uh, ten more.
Lt. Thomas Riker: You didn't take any cards. You must be holding something. Why not make it a little sweeter?
Commander William T. Riker: No, thanks.
Lt. Thomas Riker: Playing it safe?
Commander William T. Riker: [turning to Data] You in?
Lt. Commander Data: I will call.
Lt. Thomas Riker: Here's your ten, and it will cost you another one hundred.
Commander William T. Riker: [smiling] I practiced in the mirror too long to be fooled by that face. You're bluffing. Here's your hundred... and... twenty more.
Lt. Commander Data: Dealer folds.
Lt. Thomas Riker: I thought if one thing were clear by now it's that you and I play things a little differently.
Commander William T. Riker: Why don't we wait and see who comes out on top.
Lt. Thomas Riker: I thought you were willing to settle for second, Commander.
Commander William T. Riker: I've never settled for anything in my life. I know what I want, I know what I've got, and you'd be lucky to do so well, Lieutenant.
Lt. Thomas Riker: Here's your twenty.
[picking up more chips]
Lt. Thomas Riker: Three hundred more.
Commander William T. Riker: Now I know you're bluffing.
Lt. Thomas Riker: Are you in or not?
Commander William T. Riker: Why don't we get this over with? I'll call your three and I'll raise you anything you've got left. Well?
Lt. Thomas Riker: Take it. You always had the better hand... in everything.

Commander William T. Riker: My mother died when I was a baby. All I had was pictures and the stories that my father used to tell me about her. I begged him to tell those stories over and over. When I was five and I went to school, I started to tell my new friends those same stories, pretending that she was alive. Then I started believing that she was alive, that she had just gone away, but that she was coming back. The teacher got wind of this. She and my father had this talk with me. They told me it was important to accept the fact that my mother was dead and that she wasn't coming back and all the hoping in the world wouldn't make it so. In my mind, that was the day that my mother actually died. I cried all that night, but after that, it started feeling better.

Captain: You and I could learn to live with a disability like that, but not Worf. His life ended when those containers fell on him. Now, we don't have to agree with it, we don't have to understand it. But we do have to respect his beliefs.
Commander William T. Riker: I can respect his beliefs, but he is asking me to take an active part in his committing suicide!
Captain: He's asking for your help, because you're his friend. And that means that you're gonna have to make your decision based on that friendship.
Commander William T. Riker: [smiles wryly] Which leaves me right back where I started.
Captain: Will... Look, I'm sorry, I cannot help you to make this decision. But I can tell you this: Klingons choose their friends with great care. If he didn't know he could count on you, he would never have asked.

Captain: [as Galen] What's wrong, Commander? You're having second thoughts about betraying your comrades? Because that's what you've done - betrayed them. Betrayed them in order to save yourself. You used to be just a second-rate officer. Now you're a traitor and a coward. How does that feel?
[Riker whirls around and punches Picard in the face]
Commander William T. Riker: I don't know, how did *that* feel?

Guinan: Did he ever tell you why we're so close?
Captain William T. Riker: No.
Guinan: Oh... Then let me just say that... our relationship is beyond friendship, beyond family. And I *will* let him go. And you must do the same. There can only be one Captain.
Captain William T. Riker: It's not that simple. This was his crew. He wrote the book on this ship.
Guinan: If the Borg know everything he knows, it's time to throw that book away. You *must* let him go, Riker. It's the only way to beat him. The only way to save him.

Orton: I am not interested in hearing your hostage negotiation tactics, Commander.
Commander William T. Riker: Well, it can't hurt you to listen, can it?
Orton: All right.
Commander William T. Riker: Thank you. Now...
[Riker turns away from Orton]
Commander William T. Riker: ...the first thing I think we need to discuss is this:
[Riker reels around and punches Orton in the face]

[last lines]
Captain: Number One, will you set a course for Starbase 227, I'll join you on the bridge shortly.
Commander William T. Riker: Wait a minute - you've been declared dead. You can't give orders around here.
Lt. Commander Data: [to Riker] If we are to adhere to the exact letter of Starfleet regulations, then technically, sir, you have been declared a renegade. In fact, I believe you are facing twelve counts of court martial offenses. You cannot give orders either, sir.
Captain: That's quite right. And as I am supposed to be dead, I'll go and get some sleep, and Mr. Data, I suggest that you escort Commander Riker to the brig.
Lt. Commander Data: Aye, sir.
[while Picard enters his quarters, an amused Riker starts to go about his own business, when Data holds him back...]
Lt. Commander Data: This way, sir.
[... and, unperturbed, leads him away in the opposite direction]
Commander William T. Riker: Data, he was joking... You know that, right? Data?

Commander William T. Riker: [to Picard] You'll be one of us soon!

Commander William T. Riker: Charming woman!
Lt. Commander Data: [voice-over] The tone of Commander Riker's voice makes me suspect that he is not serious about finding Ambassador T'Pel charming. My experience suggests that in fact he may mean the exact opposite of what he says. Irony is a form of expression I have not yet been able to master.

Captain: You should have killed me.
Commander William T. Riker: I don't want your command.
Captain: But you tricked me to get it.
Commander William T. Riker: Either way you can have it back.
Captain: ...Then return to your station.
[Riker glances a Klag and stays where he is. Kargan hits him. Klag checks on Riker]
Captain: Get him off my ship!
Lt. Klag: Yes, Captain.
[to Riker]
Lt. Klag: You understand the Klingons better than I thought, Commander.
Commander William T. Riker: Thank you, my friend.

Commander William T. Riker: What brings you so far from home?
Pakled: We look for things.
Commander William T. Riker: What were you looking for?
Pakled: Things we need.
Commander William T. Riker: Can you be more specific?
Pakled: Things that make us go. We need help.
Commander William T. Riker: What is the nature of your mission?
Pakled: We look for things.
Commander William T. Riker: [to La Forge] Did you hear an echo?

Carmen: It's exciting to find a new world, but the joy comes in making it a home - building houses, having children...
Commander William T. Riker: Very interesting. I'd love to discuss this further with you. Dinner tonight?
Carmen: If you wanna share camp rations in my tent, I'd be delighted.

[Riker is doing his duty in the courtroom]
Commander William T. Riker: The Commander is a physical representation of a dream - an idea, conceived of by the mind of a man. Its purpose: to serve human needs and interests. It's a collection of neural nets and heuristic algorithms; its responses dictated by an elaborate software written by a man, its hardware built by a man. And now... and now a man will shut it off.
[Riker switches off Data, who slumps forward like a lifeless puppet]
Commander William T. Riker: Pinocchio is broken. Its strings have been cut.

Lieutenant: Believe it or not, Worf is developing a sense of humor.
Commander William T. Riker: I hope so, for their sake.

Baran: What were you doing on Barradas III?
Commander William T. Riker: William T. Riker, Commander, SC - 231-427.
Baran: Oh, really? Well, I am Arctus Baran, and I don't have a number.

Doctor: [about the Bringloidi] You know, they were anachronistic in 2123. It will be interesting to see how they cope.
Commander William T. Riker: They'll learn and adapt. If Danilo Odell is any indication, they'll be running this place inside of a week.

Commander William T. Riker: A blind man teaching an android how to paint? That's gotta be worth a couple of pages in somebody's book.

Lt. Cmdr. Data: Can you provide more information, sir? Seeking an instance of someone showering in his or her clothing is...
Commander William T. Riker: I know. It's like looking for a needle in a haystack.
Lt. Cmdr. Data: Why would anyone wish to expend his time in such a search?
Commander William T. Riker: Correction, Data. I should have said "proverbial needle in a haystack".
Lt. Cmdr. Data: Ah, a human proverb. As in folklore or an historical allusion or tribal memories.
Commander William T. Riker: Historical. That's it. I remember I was reading a history of all the past starships named Enterprise.
Lt. Cmdr. Data: [refining his search] Enterprise history. Aberrant behavior. Medical cross-reference.

Commander William T. Riker: We don't have time for these games.
Q: Games? Did someone say "game"? And perchance for interest's sake, a deadly game? To the game!

Commander William T. Riker: I am your worst nightmare!

Captain: They started out together. It seems only... fitting they should end up together.
Doctor: It's a match made in heaven.
Commander William T. Riker: Unfortunately, it will have to be a shotgun wedding.

[Picard is startled by Riker, who is entering the room, and almost shoots him]
Commander William T. Riker: Good to see you too.

Doctor: I've never heard of a Klingon starving to death on his own vessel, but you might.
Commander William T. Riker: Not if I weaken first.
Doctor: I know all about that. Their beliefs are rather brutal, but usually, what kills us kills them.
Commander William T. Riker: Well, that's certainly good to know.

Commander William T. Riker: [about his alleged wife] What was she like?
Counselor: Min was... beautiful - of course - strong, intelligent, patient...
Commander William T. Riker: Well, she was married to me. She had to be patient.

Commander William T. Riker: I feel like such an idiot.
Captain: Quite right. So you should.

Lt. Cmdr. Data: Indications of what humans would call... a wild party.
Commander William T. Riker: Yeah.
[going to a wall display]
Commander William T. Riker: Their bridge. If this thing works, be sure to record everything.
[Data taps buttons to clarify the image]
Commander William T. Riker: You were right. Somebody blew out the hatch. They were all sucked out into space.
Lt. Cmdr. Data: Correction, sir. That's "blown out".
Commander William T. Riker: [quasi-sarcastic] Thank you, Data.
Lt. Cmdr. Data: A common mistake, sir.

[Troi eats a spoonful of ice cream]
Commander William T. Riker: Doesn't it taste good?
Counselor: Mm, of course it does, but... it's not just a matter of taste. It's the whole experience. First of all, you have to spoon the fudge around the rim, leaving only the ice cream in the middle. Then, you gently spoon the ice cream around the sides, like you're sculpting it. Relish every bite. Make every one an event. And then, with the last spoonful, close your eyes...
[eats another spoonful with her eyes closed and smiles]
Commander William T. Riker: I had no idea it was such a ritual.

[several computer systems have been corrupted with Data's personal database]
Captain: When can you correct the problem?
Lt. Commander Data: We are currently attempting to isolate the corrupted circuit pathways. I reckon the process should take less than two hours.
Captain: What did you say?
Lt. Commander Data: I said the process should take less than two hours.
Commander William T. Riker: No, you just said 'I reckon'.
Lt. Commander Data: According to my memory logs, I did not use those words. Y'all must be mistaken.
Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge: There - Data, you did it again.
Lt. Commander Data: [southern accent] Did wha-t?

Counselor: Have you ever heard Data define friendship?
Commander William T. Riker: No.
Counselor: How did he put it? "As I experience certain sensory input patterns, my mental pathways become accustomed to them. The inputs eventually are anticipated and even missed when absent."

[Data has been assigned to organize the evacuation of a Human colony on Tau Cygna V, a Sheliak planet]
Lt. Cmdr. Data: Sir, if I do not succeed, how violent is the Sheliak reaction likely to be?
Commander William T. Riker: The treaty is the only thing that prevented them from eradicating the colony the moment they discovered it.
Lt. Cmdr. Data: Ah.
Commander William T. Riker: "Ah" is right, Data.

Doctor: You brought Deanna in.
Commander William T. Riker: Yes, she's infected.
Doctor: Then you touched her. Oh, God, and you touched me.
[he moves to leave]
Doctor: Wait, I've got to quarantine you.
Commander William T. Riker: If I don't get the command computer back online soon, none of this, whatever this is, will matter. We'll all be dead.

Pakled: We are far from home.
Commander William T. Riker: Aren't we all?

Commander William T. Riker: [the Federation cloaking device on board the Pegasus] I kept hoping it wouldn't be here. That it would have been destroyed or buried back there in that rockface.
Admiral: What the hell's that supposed to mean?
Commander William T. Riker: It means I can't put this off any longer. Right up until now... I have had the luxury of time. But now I've got to make a choice. And Admiral... I'm afraid my choice is this. I can't let you start these experiments again. It was wrong twelve years ago, and it is wrong today.

[Riker refuses to attend Captain Picard's memorial service]
Counselor: Will, a memorial service helps to give everyone a sense of completion, helps them begin the healing process.
Commander William T. Riker: That's exactly the point. I don't want to heal!
Counselor: Will...
Commander William T. Riker: [pointing at his chest] I've an open wound. Right here, it hurts like hell. I don't want it to get better, and I *don't* want to pretend that everything's all right.
Counselor: I know you're angry.
Commander William T. Riker: You're damn right! And I intend to stay angry until I find whoever is responsible for the Captain's death.

Commander William T. Riker: [explaining the Enterprise's systems to Morta in outrageous techno-gibberish] The Enterprise computer system is controlled by three primary main processor cores, cross-linked with a redundant melacortz ramistat, fourteen kiloquad interface modules. The core element is based on an FTL nanoprocessor with 25 bilateral kelilactirals, with twenty of those being slaved into the primary heisenfram terminal. Now, you do know what a bilateral kelilactiral is?
Morta: Well, of course I do, Human. I am not stupid!
Commander William T. Riker: No, of course not. This is the isopalavial interface, which controls the main firomactal drive unit - don't touch that! You'll blow up the entire firomactal drive.
Morta: Oh, what... what i... , er, wait, er, what is a-a-a... a firomactal drive? Just explain it to me.
Commander William T. Riker: That is the firomactal drive unit. It controls the ramistat core and keeps the ontarian manifold at 40,000 KRGs. The firomactal drive is powered by...

Lt. Klag: Klingons do not express feeling the way you do.
Commander William T. Riker: Perhaps you should.
Lt. Klag: We would not know how.
Commander William T. Riker: Yesterday I did not know how to eat gagh.
[he takes a mouthful of that dish]

Tactics: [about the two female Klingons on board the Pagh] They are inquisitive. They would like to know how you would endure.
Commander William T. Riker: Endure what?
Lt. Klag: Them.
Commander William T. Riker: [looks at the women] One or both?

Commander William T. Riker: Gentlemen, we're giving you an assignment. The one thing we don't want to hear is that it's impossible.
Captain: I need the transporters to function, despite the hyperonic radiation.
Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge: Yeah, but that's imp... Yes, sir.

Vash: You must be Commander Riker.
Commander William T. Riker: I'm afraid you have me at a disadvantage.
Vash: I didn't mean to interrupt. I believe you were about to tell me that my eyes are as mysterious as the stars.
Commander William T. Riker: You're Betazoid.
Vash: Not at all. It's just that Jean-Luc does a very good imitation of you.

[an away team has found a badly injured Borg on a moon]
Captain: Away team, prepare to return to the ship!
Doctor: Captain, we can't leave him here, he won't survive.
Commander William T. Riker: I think the Captain understands that.
Doctor: I don't.

Commander William T. Riker: Is Captain Picard all right?
Ambassador: Don't worry, Number One.
Commander William T. Riker: And... the Ambassador?
Ambassador: I am myself again. It has been a long time.

Captain: [discovering an artifact in the observation lounge] Oh, my God.
Professor: Then you *can* identify that object, Mr. Picard?
Captain: Professor Galen?
Commander William T. Riker: Computer, lights up!
Professor: I suppose I should say *Captain* Picard.
Commander William T. Riker: The Professor contacted me from his shuttle about an hour ago. He suggested that we surprise you.
Professor: To clarify, I insisted and your First Officer was good enough to accommodate me. I trust I'm not being overly presumptuous, now that my star pupil is master of the stars?

[after being beamed aboard, Data hands over a weapon to Riker]
Lt. Commander Data: A Varon-T disrupter. It belongs to Fajo.
Commander William T. Riker: Mr. O'Brien says the weapon was in a state of discharge.
Lt. Commander Data: [with an unreadable poker face] Perhaps something occurred during transport, Commander.

Commander William T. Riker: Data, I need help in locating some library computer information.
Lt. Cmdr. Data: Specifics, sir?
Commander William T. Riker: All I have is a vague memory of reading somewhere about someone taking a shower in his or her clothing.
Lt. Cmdr. Data: Ah, the body Geordi discovered.
Commander William T. Riker: Well, I believe it may have happened before.
Lt. Cmdr. Data: To someone, somewhere.
Commander William T. Riker: This ought to be easy for someone written up in biomechanical texts.
Lt. Cmdr. Data: About that, sir. Did the doctor believe I was boasting?
Commander William T. Riker: Probably. This may take some time?
Lt. Cmdr. Data: At least several hours. But what I said was a statement of fact. Perhaps she will look it up.
Commander William T. Riker: You can depend on it.

Counselor: I heard about Data.
Commander William T. Riker: Yeah.
Counselor: It's having an unusually traumatic effect on everyone.
Commander William T. Riker: Yeah.
Counselor: If you don't want to talk about it, it's okay.
Commander William T. Riker: I'm fine. Just...
Counselor: Angry.
Commander William T. Riker: I'm not angry... Yeah, I'm angry.

Commander William T. Riker: Rest in peace, Colonel.

Commander William T. Riker: I would like to make one suggestion, sir.
Kurn: A suggestion?
Commander William T. Riker: When I served aboard the Pagh, the hardest part for me was recognizing and adapting to the demands of the crew. They needed an iron hand. I imagine it must be very difficult for you to work with a crew that is... so different. I would be happy to guide you in that regard, if it would be helpful.
Kurn: No, Commander. It wouldn't.
[they leave the turbolift]
Commander William T. Riker: This is not a Klingon ship, sir!
Kurn: No, Commander, it is not. If it were a Klingon ship, I would've killed you for offering your suggestion.

Lieutenant: We can learn something from non-disclosure?
Lt. Commander Data: [smoking pipe] Indubitably, my good woman.
[Yar looks quizzically at Riker]
Commander William T. Riker: It's something the Captain mentioned. Sherlock Holmes. Indubitably, Data has been studying him.

Lt. Cmdr. Elizabeth Paula Shelby: They operate as a single mind.
Captain William T. Riker: One of them jumps off a cliff, they all jump off?

Commander William T. Riker: So, who won the contest?
Captain: Oh, er, Paul Menegay, a seven-year-old. He did a most interesting clay sculpture of my head.
Commander William T. Riker: Was that the orange one? With the lumpy skin?

Brenna: You may have all the time in the world, but I've dozens of frightened and hungry children and women to look after.
Commander William T. Riker: And what about the men?
Brenna: Well, I'm sure they'll find their comfort as they always do - in the bottom of a mug of homebrew!

[on the holodeck, several crew members are recreating the room, its equipment and instruments from their visions step by step]
Counselor: All right. You were lying on the table. You had a bright light shining in your eyes. Were there any smells in the room? Were there any sounds?
Commander William T. Riker: Yes. Yes, there was a sound. Computer, there were noises, coming from the darkness. Strange. Like whispering.
[the computer creates a rustling sound]
Kaminer: More like clicks. Clicking sounds.
[the computer changes to a single clicking]
Commander William T. Riker: Louder.
[more clicks can be heard]
Commander William T. Riker: Faster... More of them...
[the computer ends up producing a continuous, eerie clatter]
Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge: I've been in this room before.
Commander William T. Riker: We've all been here before.

Captain William T. Riker: [to Picard's empty chair] What would you do?

Lt. Commander Data: [the Enterprise is being compounded by increasingly more powerful shockwaves. With Timothy by his side, Data has discovered something unusual in his research from the science aft] Sir, Drop the sheids!
Cmdr. William Riker: That's suicide, Data!
Lt. Commander Data: Captain. Drop the shields.
[Captain Picard looks at Data and sees that the android is dead serious]
Captain: Make it so!
[Worf drops the shields. The shock wave passes over the ship gently and calmly]

Lieutenant: Captain, we are being hailed by a small transport vessel just coming into range.
Counselor: [horrified] Oh, my God.
Captain: What's the problem?
Counselor: What's she doing here?
Wesley: On screen, Captain.
Transporter: Starship Enterprise, come in.
Commander William T. Riker: We have you on viewer, pilot.
Transporter: Enterprise, I have a passenger, a VIP passenger who I more...
Lwaxana: [shoving the pilot aside] Oh, let me talk to them. I'm sure I'm more articulate than that.
Counselor: Mother.

[last lines]
Captain: You know, Number One - some relationships just can't work.
Commander William T. Riker: Yes - probably true. She'll be difficult to forget.

Commander William T. Riker: No power in the universe can hope to stop the force of evolution.

Soren: Tell me about males. What is it makes you different from females?
[Riker ponders on this]
Commander William T. Riker: Snips and snails and puppy dog tails...
Soren: You have a dog's tail?

Commander William T. Riker: [threatening Omag] Let me explain what will happen to you if you don't tell me about the Vulcan ship. Your right-of-passage through this sector will be revoked, and more than that, I will be very unhappy.

Captain: Ferengi vessel, we await your response.
Lieutenant: Suggest first strike, sir. Our shields now only have 63 seconds of power left before lowering.
Lieutenant: If the Ferengis' ship sensors can read us, sir, they will be waiting until we are most vulnerable.
Commander William T. Riker: I'm afraid I agree, Captain. They have not responded...
Captain: We will wait a bit more, Number One.
Lieutenant: 50 seconds.
Captain: Patience. Patience.
Daimon: The quicker we can come to terms, the better, NCC-1701-D.
Captain: Who is speaking?
Daimon: I am Tarr, DaiMon of the Ferengi. You wish to discuss surrender, Captain Picard?
Captain: What I said, DaiMon Tarr, is...
Daimon: Unconditional surrender, I warn you, is totally unacceptable. We will die to the last one of us before such dishonor.
Lieutenant: [Picard gives her the "cut it" gesture] Hailing frequencies closed, sir.
Captain: Something has seized their ship, too. They're in the same predicament as us. Launch a sensor probe. Set it to search for the source of... whatever this "something" is that is holding both ships.

Lieutenant: Ever since you gave Alexander that music program, he's been playing it all night. *Every* night!
Commander William T. Riker: Just wanted to broaden his horizons. Besides, he likes it.
Lieutenant: It is screeching, pounding dissonance. It is not music.
Commander William T. Riker: Worf, It's better than music. It's jazz.

Commander William T. Riker: Acting Captain's log, stardate 47135.2 - Dr. Crusher has positively identified Captain Picard's DNA. There's no doubt now that he's dead.

Commander William T. Riker: You just can't stay away from the big chair, can you?
Counselor: I don't think I'm cut out to be Captain. First Officer, maybe. I understand there aren't many qualifications.

[Picard has trapped the Sheliak in their own contract]
Commander William T. Riker: You enjoyed that.
Captain: You're damned right.

[the crew debates whether to stop the geological disintegration of Drema IV, with regard to the Prime Directive]
Commander William T. Riker: If there is a cosmic plan, is it not the height of hubris to think that we can or should interfere?
Lieutenant: So what're ya saying, that-that the Dremans are-are fated to die?
Commander William T. Riker: I think that's an option that we should be considering.
Lieutenant: Consider it considered and rejected!

Commander William T. Riker: There is something damn odd going on here.

Commander William T. Riker: [of the warship at its second appearance] Is it my imagination or does it look a lot meaner this time?

Moriarty: I only want what you have the luxury of taking for granted. Freedom. I want to leave this holodeck.
Cmdr. William Riker: I think you know that's impossible.
Moriarty: Your crewmates here in my little ship in a bottle, seem a bit more optimistic,
Cmdr. William Riker: Oh?
Moriarty: They attempted to use your transporter device to remove a simulated object from the holodeck.
Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge: If they tried it, they must have thought they were on to something.
Moriarty: Their attempt was futile because their transporter was a facsimile. I expect more form you.

Lt. Commander Data: What Lutan did is similar to what certain American Indians once did called "counting coup." That is from an obscure language known as French. Counting coup...
Captain: Mr. Data. The French language, for centuries on Earth, represented civilization.
Lt. Commander Data: Indeed? But surely, sir...
Commander William T. Riker: [sotto voce] I suggest you drop it, Mr. Data.

[Wesley has saved Enterprise from destruction with a repulsor beam]
Commander William T. Riker: It's only fair to mention Wesley in a log entry, sir.
Capt. Picard: Fair's fair. And let's credit his science teacher, too.

Counselor: [nursing Riker's wound] I thought you were just going to talk to him.
Commander William T. Riker: I did. He just didn't like what I had to say.

[O'Brien is trying to get a lock on La Forge, who has gone missing on a stormy planet]
Chief: The electrical storm's creating thousands of ghosts.
Commander William T. Riker: Well, beam some of those ghosts back; one of them may be Geordi!

Alternate Captain William T. Riker #1: You don't remember any of this, do you?
Lieutenant: I do remember. I just remember differently.

[last lines]
Lt. Thomas Riker: [to Deanna] I waited a long time. I guess I can wait a little longer.
Lt. Thomas Riker: [to Will] Take care of her.

Commander William T. Riker: Mr. Data will need access to your library.
Beata: Our library is far too sophisticated for a man to comprehend.
Lt. Commander Data: I am an android, Mistress. Though anatomically, I am a male.
Beata: An amusing notion.

Lieutenant: Jewels! Look at these jewels!
Counselor: They're bonding gifts - what you would call wedding presents.
Commander William T. Riker: Who's getting married?
Counselor: I am.

Captain: I think this is supposed to be Earth - somewhere... round about the twelfth century. And this is England, or to be more precise, Sherwood Forest; at least Q's recreation of it.
Commander William T. Riker: That would explain these costumes.
Captain: Quite right, Number One - or... should I say 'John Little'?
Doctor: Well, if he's Little John, that makes you...
Captain: I know. Robin Hood.

Captain: Put your foot where it didn't belong, hm?
Commander William T. Riker: Doctor said she was getting bored; I just thought I'd give her a challenge.

[Riker observes Brenna cleaning the floor]
Commander William T. Riker: That isn't necessary. The ship will clean itself.
Brenna: Well - good for the bloody ship.

Commander William T. Riker: [after losing a poker game] How'd you know I was bluffing?
Doctor: I just had a feeling.
Commander William T. Riker: I guess it's better to be lucky than good.
Doctor: It's the way your left eyebrow raises when you're bluffing... Just kidding, Commander.

Commander William T. Riker: It is different.
Lieutenant: Many things will be different.

Commander William T. Riker: Chocolate ice cream, chocolate fudge and chocolate chips... You're not depressed, are you?

[last lines]
Dr. Kate Pulaski: There may be some residual memory loss. I just want to be certain that you still know who you are.
[Riker looks at Picard and Data]
Commander William T. Riker: [shrewdly] Of course I know who I am. I'm Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the USS Enterprise!
Captain: I'm delighted that you're feeling better, Captain.
Captain: [referring to Data] The Admiral and I were worried about you.
Lt. Cmdr. Data: [not understanding] Captain, I do not believe you have the authority to promote me to the rank of admiral.

Counselor: [to Alexander] One day, you're going to be glad your father cared enough about you to insist on rules. It may be hard to imagine right now, but eventually, most children come to appreciate their parents.
[Worf and Alexander leave]
Commander William T. Riker: [over intercom] Riker to Counselor Troi - your mother's just come aboard.
Counselor: [to herself] On the other hand...

Cmdr. William Riker: [Riker and Data are exploring the planet's surface when Riker sees something] What's that?
Lt. Cmdr. Data: What, Commander?
Cmdr. William Riker: [points] That.
[They realize who it is...]
Cmdr. William Riker,8585: Geordi!
[Riker and Data run over to Georgi who is hanging upside down, suspended from a tree branch]
Cmdr. William Riker: Are you conscious?
Lt. Geordi La Forge: Do I *look* conscious?

[the crew are debating the recent intrusion of a Romulan ship in Federation space]
Commander William T. Riker: It obviously wasn't pilot's error. I think it demands a response from us.
Captain: But we must measure our response carefully, or history may remember Galorndon Core along with... Pearl Harbor, and Station Salem One, as the stage for a bloody preamble to war.

[Riker has returned from the Pagh]
Commander William T. Riker: That might've been one of the shortest assignments in the history of Starfleet.
Captain: Wrong, Number One. It was almost the longest. Well done.
Commander William T. Riker: Thank you. Actually, I learned quite a bit.
Captain: [referring to Riker's battered face] Apparently not when to duck.
Commander William T. Riker: When *not* to duck would be more accurate.

Commander William T. Riker: What's a knockout like you doing in a computer-generated gin joint like this?

[Data is about to beam down to the planet]
Commander William T. Riker: O'Brien, take a nap. You didn't see any of this, you're not involved.
Chief: Right, sir, I'll just be standing over here dozing off.

Lieutenant: [after Jellico becomes captain of the Enterprise] I wonder how permanent this is gonna be.
Commander William T. Riker: I don't know. They don't usually go through the ceremony if it's just a temporary assignment.

Lanel: Will I ever see you again?
Commander William T. Riker: [posing as a Malcorian pretending to be an alien] I'll call you the next time I pass through your star system.

Commander William T. Riker: Did you come here for something in particular or just general Riker-bashing?

[from Riker's joke as told by him to the officers on the bridge, and enhanced with the scripted version]
Commander William T. Riker: ...He still won't talk. So they put the count's head on the chopping block. "One more chance", says the queen. "No", says the count. Then, just as the headsman swings the axe and the blade is about to fall, the count says, "Wait, wait! I'll talk!" But too late. And the moral to the story? Never hatchet your counts before they chicken.

Capt. Picard: Guinan, your people have been in this part of the galaxy.
Guinan: Yes.
Commander William T. Riker: What can you tell us?
Guinan: Only that if I were you, I'd start back now.

[Riker has avoided an engine failure and thus saved Baran's ship and crew]
Commander William T. Riker: [to "Galen", smugly] You still wish you'd killed me?

Commander William T. Riker: [to his father, when he discovers why he could never beat him at Anbo-Jyutsu as a child] You cheated me!

Lt. Commander Data: Since her death, I have been asked several times to define how well I knew Lieutenant Aster. And I heard you ask Wesley on the bridge how well he knew Jeremy. Does the question of familiarity have some bearing on death?
Commander William T. Riker: Do you remember how we all felt when Tasha died?
Lt. Commander Data: I do not sense the same feelings of absence that I associate with Lieutenant Yar. Although I cannot say precisely why.
Commander William T. Riker: Just human nature, Data.
Lt. Commander Data: Human nature, sir?
Commander William T. Riker: We feel a loss more intensely when it's a friend.
Lt. Commander Data: Hm... But should not the feelings run just as deep, regardless of who has died?
Commander William T. Riker: Maybe they should, Data. Maybe if we felt any loss as keenly as we felt the death of one close to us - human history would be a lot less bloody.

Commander William T. Riker: You're a very lovely young lady, but none of this is real.
Amanda: My feelings are real.
Commander William T. Riker: I know, but you can't make someone love you.
Amanda: Can't I?
Commander William T. Riker: Oh Amanda, you're so beautiful.
[kisses her neck]

Lieutenant: The Pakleds seem pretty... sincere.
Pakled: We want what we want.
Commander William T. Riker: Our computer banks are non-negotiable.
Pakled: We want them.
Lieutenant: Believe me, they're nothing if not... persistent.
Pakled: We want to be nothing if not persistent.
Lieutenant: Nobody ever said they were great conversationalists.

Lieutenant: Will you, or will you not, help me with the Hegh'bat?
Commander William T. Riker: You are my friend. And in spite of everything I've said, if it were my place, I would probably help you. But I have been studying Klingon ritual and Klingon law, and I've discovered... it is not my place to fill that role. According to tradition, that honor falls to a family member - preferably the oldest son.
Lieutenant: That is impossible. He is a child.
Commander William T. Riker: "The son of a Klingon is a man the day he can first hold a blade." True?
Lieutenant: Alexander is not fully Klingon. He is part Human!
Commander William T. Riker: That's an excuse. What you really mean... is, it would be too hard to look at your son and tell him to bring you the knife, watch you stab it into your heart, then pull the knife out of your chest and wipe your blood on his sleeve. That's the rite of death, isn't it? Well, I'm sorry, Mr. Worf - I can't help you. There's only one person on this ship who can.

Commander William T. Riker: A cook is only as good as his ingredients.

Brenna: And what are you staring at? You never seen a woman before?
Commander William T. Riker: I thought I had.

Lt. Cmdr. Data: Based on its present trajectory, the comet appears to have originated in the D'Arsay system.
Commander William T. Riker: That's over 2 sectors away.
Lt. Cmdr. Data: That is correct, Sir.
[camera pans to Data and to his side]
Lt. Cmdr. Data: This object has been en route for 87 million years.
Commander William T. Riker: [looks to Picard] That's a long time alone in the dark.
Captain: Hmm.
[hesitates]
Captain: Begin a full sensor analysis, Mr. Data, and log the findings with the Federation Astrophysical Survey.
Lt. Cmdr. Data: Aye, Sir.
[short pause]
Lt. Cmdr. Data: The comet's outer shell is composed primarily of gaseous hydrogen and helium surrounding an icy mantle. The inner core consists of heavier elements.
[a bright light illuminates them and the bridge for a few seconds and vanishes]
Captain: What was that?
Lt. Cmdr. Data: There is a distortion within the comet's inner core. I believe we experienced an intense sensor echo.
Commander William T. Riker: Can you correct for it?
Lt. Cmdr. Data: I'm attempting to do so now, Sir. I have compensated for the effect. Sensors are reconfigured for a low-intensity sweep. We are still picking up some interference, but the distortion is manageable. At these settings, the scan will be complete in 39 hours.

[the ship's malfunctions have been caused by nanites]
Commander William T. Riker: Why would they attack us?
Dr. Paul Stubbs: Why does a mosquito bite your ear? And who cares? The answer is simple: call an exterminator!

Ensign: For all we know, you and I could be married.
Commander William T. Riker: For all we know, you and I could hate each other.

Commander William T. Riker: Captain, I believe we have the answer to what happened over there.
Capt. Picard: [looking over Data's shoulder] The Constitution-class Starship Enterprise, Captain James T. Kirk commanding.
Commander William T. Riker: Similar conditions. They were monitoring a planet that was breaking up and not a collapsing star, as in this case. But there were the same huge shifts in gravity.
Capt. Picard: Which somehow resulted in complex strings of water molecules which acquired carbon from the body and acted... acted on the body like alcohol. Data, download this information to Medical immediately.
Lt. Cmdr. Data: Aye, sir. Downloading.
Capt. Picard: Fascinating. The entire crew going out of control.
Commander William T. Riker: Like intoxication, but worse. Judgment almost completely impaired.
Capt. Picard: Until they found this formula, barely in time.
[pressing a console button]
Capt. Picard: Picard to Dr. Crusher. Come in.
Doctor: This is Crusher. Go ahead, Captain.
Capt. Picard: You can relax, Doctor. The answer to all of this is feeding into your medical banks right now; including a cure.
Doctor: Are you certain, Captain?
Capt. Picard: Absolutely.

Commander William T. Riker: Bottom line, La Forge.
Lieutenant: Uh, it's not good, sir. The Ferengi force field that holds this ship compensates almost as fast as we can increase power.
Commander William T. Riker: Almost?
Lieutenant: Well, there's a .372 millisecond delay between the use of our power and the neutralizing counterforce of the Ferengi. See, we push and they push back with equal force, sir.
Commander William T. Riker: [wandering over and glancing at the warp core] What's our acceleration delay between slow-reverse impulse and top warp speed?
Lieutenant: Well, that's .300 milliseconds, sir, but there's... ah, I see where you're going. We shift down, then kick hard into warp nine. Yeah, come back fighting! Whoo-ee!
Commander William T. Riker: Can we do it, Geordi?
Lieutenant: Ask me after it's done, sir.

[last lines]
[Admiral Jarok has committed suicide]
Commander William T. Riker: [handing a data PADD to Picard] A letter to his wife and daughter.
Lt. Commander Data: Sir, he must have known it would be impossible for us to deliver it.
Captain: Today, perhaps. But if there are others with the courage of Admiral Jarok, we may hope to see a day of peace when... we can take his letter home.

Commander William T. Riker: How was it, Captain?
Captain: Very strange, Number One. Like going back to the house you grew up in, but no one's home - except phantoms of the past.

Commander William T. Riker: Data, when it really works between two people, it's not like anything you've ever experienced. The rewards are far greater than simple friendship.
Lt. Cmdr. Data: How far, sir?
Commander William T. Riker: That's what I'm hoping you're going to find out.

Captain: Tell me, Number One, is the entire crew aware of this little scheme to send me off on holiday?
Commander William T. Riker: I believe there are two ensigns stationed on deck 39 who know nothing about it.

Commander William T. Riker: [after having introduced non-stop small talkers Hutchinson and Data to one another] I'm not sure which one to feel sorry for.

Capt. Picard: I will not have that woman continuing to use this ship for her convenience simply because her daughter happens to be one of my officers!
Commander William T. Riker: Apparently, Deanna being on board is only part of the reason.
Capt. Picard: The other reason being?
Commander William T. Riker: She thinks the honor of giving away the bride should fall on YOU.
Capt. Picard: [comes to a halt, considering this] Permission for an on-board wedding is granted, Number One. Nothing would please me more than to give away Mrs. Troi.

Lt. Cmdr Elizabeth Paula Shelby: Tell me, Commander, is serving aboard the Enterprise as extraordinary an experience as I've heard?
Commander William T. Riker: Every bit.
Lt. Cmdr Elizabeth Paula Shelby: Good. Because I intend to convince Captain Picard that I'm the right choice for the job.
Commander William T. Riker: Job? Which job?
Lt. Cmdr Elizabeth Paula Shelby: Yours, of course.

Commander William T. Riker: [to Picard] We're all here, waiting for you to pull another rabbit out of your hat.

Commander William T. Riker: You're not turning into a philosopher, are you, Mr. Data?
Data: I am many things - scholar, artist, philosopher... lover, genius...

Gul: [sitting in the Enterprise's Observation Lounge displeased when Jellico suddenly walks in, followed by Riker and Troi; he gets to his feet] What is going on? I've been waiting here for over an hour...
Captain: [talking over him] I'm Captain Jellico. I believe you know Commander Riker and this is Lt Commander Troi. Let's get to it, shall we?
Gul: [with great disdain] This treatment is a deliberate insult to the Cardassian Union! I have been kept waiting here for over an hour!
Captain: Then I'm sure you're ready to talk.
Gul: [Jellico, Riker and Troi sit but Lemec is suddenly uncertain] I did not agree to allow others into this meeting.
Captain: If it alarms you, I can ask them to leave.
Gul: [defiant] I am not alarmed, but we did agree...
Captain: [interrupts again] A great many people are depending on our efforts here, Gul Lemec. We don't need to quibble over minutiae.
Gul: [leaning in, inches from Jellico's face] I have come to negotiate a Federation withdrawal from the borders... not to be dictated to by some mere Captain.
Captain: [suddenly gets to his feet and locks eyes with Lemec] I can see you're not serious about these talks.
[Lemec narrows his eyes at Jellico's]
Captain: If the Cardassion Union truly wishes to discuss peace... they can send someone who can negotiate in a civilised manner!
[Jellico storms out, followed by Riker and Troi, leaving behind Lemec, more uncertain than ever]
Lt. Commander Data: [announcing Jellico's presence when he sees the three of them] Captain on the Bridge.
Captain: [amused, but also businesslike] Let him stew for a few minutes, then go in and tell him that you've convinced me to meet with him one more time. Tell him I'm a loose cannon and that he needs to be more reasonable because I'm such an unreasonable man. Lemec will want to bring his own aides on board. Pretend to be worried that I'll object and then give grudging permission for two aides... no more. Understood?
Commander William T. Riker,12585: Aye, Sir.
Commander William T. Riker: [Jellico heads off for the Ready Room] Well, I'll say this for him... he's sure of himself.
Counselor: No, he's not.

Commander William T. Riker: 'Min'... Minuet!

Lieutenant: I have wagered heavily in the ship's pool that you will take him past the sixth plateau.
Commander William T. Riker: And if I don't?
Lieutenant: I will be... irritated.

Captain William T. Riker: [while commanding the Battle Bridge from the stardrive section, Riker hails the Borg ship] Locutus of Borg, this is Captain William T Riker of the USS Enterprise.
Locutus: [while looking at Riker's image on the Borg equivalent of a viewscreen] You may speak.
Captain William T. Riker: We wish to end the hostilities.
Locutus: Then you must unconditionally surrender.
Captain William T. Riker: We are prepared to meet to discuss your terms.
Locutus: It is unlikely you are prepared to discuss terms. It is more likely that this is an attempt at deception.
[Locutus moves as if to leave]
Captain William T. Riker: Come now, Locutus. If Picard's knowledge and experience are part of you, than you know I've never lied to him.
[Locutus turns back]
Captain William T. Riker: You should also implicitly trust me, is that not so?
Locutus: Picard implicitly trusted you.
Captain William T. Riker: Then trust me now. Meet to discuss your terms.
Locutus: Discussion is irrelevant. There are no terms. You will disarm all your weapons and escort us to Sector 001 where we will begin assimilating your culture and technol...
[Riker has the transmission muted]
Captain William T. Riker: [addressing the officer at the Conn] Mr Gleason, can you pinpoint the source of the Borg's transmission?
Gleason: I can put you within 30 metres of it, Sir.
Captain William T. Riker: [on the comm system] O'Brien, report.
Chief: [in a transporter room] The Borg have adapted their electromagnetic field to prevent main transporter functions, Sir.
Captain William T. Riker: [Riker's comm voice] As expected. Mr Data, Mr Worf. You will proceed as we discussed.
Lt. Commander Data: Aye, Captain.
[Data and Worf put on some sort of armbands]
Captain William T. Riker: [Riker reopens the hail] We would like time to prepare our people for assimilation.
Locutus: Preparation is irrelevant. Your people will be assimilated as easily as Picard has been. Your attempt at delay will not be successful, Number One. We will proceed to Earth, and if you attempt to intervene we will destroy you.
Captain William T. Riker: Then take your best shot Locutus because we are about to intervene.
[Riker closes the channel for good this time]

Captain William T. Riker: I'm sure Captain Picard would have something meaningful and inspirational to say right now. To tell you the truth, I wish he was here, 'cause I'd like to hear it, too. I know how difficult this transition has been for all of you. I can take over for him; but I could never replace Captain Picard, nor would I ever try. Whatever the outcome, I'm sure our efforts in the coming battle will justify his faith in all of us.

Commander William T. Riker: Just remember, Enterprise - Captain Riker's never lost.

Lt. Commander Data: [Data has commandeered the bridge and driven the rest of the crew out. Riker and Worf are attempting to regain access through a Jefferies tube] Computer: configure a perimeter field charge, Sections 9K through 12T.
Commander William T. Riker: [the field charge takes effect] What the hell was that?
Lieutenant: He's activated a force field, sir.
Commander William T. Riker: Great. Just great.

[repeated line]
Commander William T. Riker: I'm not crazy!

[Worf is concerned that someone might have arranged a surprise party for his birthday]
Commander William T. Riker: A surprise party? Mr. Worf, I hate surprise parties. I would *never* do that to you.

[last lines]
Capt. Picard: Ensign, put us back on course, warp 3.
Wesley: Aye, sir, warp 3.
Commander William T. Riker: And Ensign, if you encounter any holes... steer clear.

Captain: One further thing - special favor.
Commander William T. Riker: Anything, sir.
Captain: Using the same strength you showed with Captain DeSoto, I would appreciate it if you could keep me from making an ass of myself with children.
Commander William T. Riker: Sir?
Captain: I'm not a family man, Riker. And yet, Starfleet has given me a ship with children aboard.
Commander William T. Riker: Yes, sir.
Captain: And I, er... I don't feel comfortable with children. But since a captain needs an image of geniality, you're to see that's what I project.
Commander William T. Riker: Aye, sir.
Captain: Welcome to the Enterprise, Commander Riker.

Lt. Thomas Riker: Sometimes, I would look up into the sky and I'd think, if I tried hard enough, I could make you feel my presence - that if I could let you know that I was alive, maybe you'd wait for me. I know, it sounds... crazy, but there were times when I could've sw...
[he looks at Deanna, who has become somewhat melancholic]
Lt. Thomas Riker: [dismissively] What am I talking about?
Counselor: The other day when I told you about how... Commander Riker and I didn't meet on Risa... What I didn't say was how disappointed I was.
Lt. Thomas Riker: You didn't have to. I knew.
Counselor: I started to hear from him less and less. I knew his career was taking him away from me, but... I didn't want to believe it was over. I spent a lot of time thinking about him - wondering where he was, what he was doing. Sometimes, I'd look into the sky and imagine that he knew, and that... somehow, he could sense me thinking about him. So, who knows? Maybe one night, we were looking up at the same star and... you were thinking about me... and, in a way... I was thinking about you.

[Picard asks Riker to replace Mendoza as Federation representative at the negotiations]
Captain: You're the next likely choice. And Mr. Mendoza will certainly agree. He's quite impressed by your natural instincts.
Commander William T. Riker: Excuse me, sir, but those weren't natural instincts; those were poker instincts. A card game doesn't exactly prepare me for this.
Captain: Yes, the stakes are higher. But then, isn't that when the game gets interesting, Commander?

Captain: Theorize, Data. What are his limits?
Lt. Commander Data: He is still a fictional character, sir, originally programmed with 19th century knowledge.
Commander William T. Riker: Which now has access to 24the centruy knowledge.
Captain: What does he need to make use of that?
Lt. Commander Data: Only time, sir.

[Worf is getting ready for a diplomatic reception]
Lieutenant: I do not see why it is necessary to wear these... ridiculous uniforms.
Commander William T. Riker: Protocol.
Lieutenant: They look like dresses.
Commander William T. Riker: That is an incredibly outmoded and sexist attitude! I'm surprised at you. Besides, you look good in a dress.

Commander William T. Riker: [on seeing the dead crew of the USS Lantree] Looks like they had a battle with time.
Lieutenant: And lost.

[last lines]
Commander William T. Riker: I was just trying to imagine a hellbent-for-leather young officer insulting a Nausicaan twice his size. I wish I'd had a chance to know that Jean-Luc Picard.
Captain: Oh, well, to tell the truth, that wasn't the first run-in that I had with a couple of surly Nausicaans.
Commander William T. Riker: Really?
Captain: Oh, yes. During my sophomore year, I was assigned to training on Morikin VII. Well, there was a Nausicaan outpost on one of the outlying asteroids, and one day...

Commander William T. Riker: Data? Data, are you all right?
Lt. Cmdr. Data: Yes, sir.
Commander William T. Riker: What happened?
Lt. Cmdr. Data: I got angry...

[Riker is in the Klingon Mess Hall, eating with about a dozen Klingons]
Tactics: Commander, you're not eating very much.
Cmdr. William Riker: I'm not that hungry.
Second: Is the food all right, Commander?
Cmdr. William Riker: It's delicious. The pipius claw was excellent. I also enjoyed this bregitlung.
Vekma: And the rokeg blood pie?
Cmdr. William Riker: Delicious.
Second: Good. Then you'll also enjoy this.
[Klag passes Riker a bowl of live worms]
Cmdr. William Riker: Isn't that gagh?
Second: Very good. You did some research on our nutritional choices.
Cmdr. William Riker: Yes, but...
[Riker looks at the moving worms]
Cmdr. William Riker: *sigh* it's still moving.
Second: [incredulous] Gagh is always best when served live.

Counselor: There's life here... A child, an old woman... Dozens more, hundreds. Terrified.
Commander William T. Riker: Terrified?
Counselor: My God, Will, they're Human.

Captain: Oh, yes. Number One - about that Horga'hn you requested...
Commander William T. Riker: Yes, sir?
Captain: You and I need to have a little chat about that.

Captain: [on Sarek] I met him once. Many years ago, very briefly at his son's wedding. I can tell you, that was quite a moment for a young lieutenant, standing in the presence of such history. I remember he spoke to me, and I just stood there grinning like an idiot.
Commander William T. Riker: You, tongue-tied?
Captain: Indeed. How do you make small talk with someone who shaped the Federation?

Lt. Commander Data: [examining skeletal remains in hotel bed] Definitely human. Male.
Commander William T. Riker: Looks like the poor devil died in his sleep.
Lieutenant: What a terrible way to die.

[Q has made appear two scantily clad women to fawn on Riker]
Commander William T. Riker: I don't need your fantasy women.
Q: Oh, you're so stolid! You weren't like that before the beard.

Captain: The immortal Sherlock Holmes would have an interesting view of our mystery, I believe.
Commander William T. Riker: But I'm afraid we're going to have to find our solution... without history's greatest consulting detective.
Lt. Commander Data: [to himself, inaudibly] Holmes...?

Capt. Picard: What's your impression of Shelby?
Commander William T. Riker: She knows her stuff.
Capt. Picard: She has your full confidence?
Commander William T. Riker: Well, I think she needs supervision. She takes the initiative a little too easily, sometimes with risks.
Capt. Picard: [tuts] Sounds like a young Lieutenant Commander I recruited as a first officer.
Commander William T. Riker: Perhaps.

Commander William T. Riker: This looks like the front door. Should we ring the bell?

Commander William T. Riker: Something wrong, sir?
Capt. Picard: I just got a message from Starfleet Command.
Commander William T. Riker: Bad news?
Capt. Picard: You could say that. I've been invited to the annual Starfleet Admirals' banquet.
Commander William T. Riker: My condolences.
Capt. Picard: I've managed to avoid it for the past six years, but now it would seem that my luck has run out. I can't think of anything more tedious - fifty admirals shaking hands, making dull conversation, uninteresting food, boring speeches...
Commander William T. Riker: Can't you think of some excuse to get out of it?
Capt. Picard: After six years, Number One, I don't think I have any excuses left. Besides, I've been invited by Admiral Nakamura, the Sector Commander. He'd consider it an insult if I turned him down.
Commander William T. Riker: We could cause a diplomatic crisis. Take the ship into the Neutral Zone and attack the Romulans. That should get you out of the banquet.
Capt. Picard: I wouldn't count on it.

Captain: [Picard has returned to the Enterprise, his double having been unmasked] ... The replica was convincing?
Commander William T. Riker: Very convincing, but... not perfect.
Captain: How so?
Commander William T. Riker: [DELETED LINE] Well, sir... I find it hard to believe that a *Frenchman* would lead his crew in singing the official naval march of the *United Kingdom*... even if he knew the lyrics.
Captain: [DELETED LINE] Very astute, Number One... I've never claimed to be a singer at all.
[Riker smirks]
Commander William T. Riker: [DELETED LINE] That, too.
Captain: I look forward to reading your report, Commander... At least, I *think* I do.

[the Borg have abruptly ceased their attack on the Enterprise]
Captain William T. Riker: Mr. Data, what the hell happened?
Lt. Commander Data: I successfully planted a command into the Borg collective consciousness. It misdirected them to believe it was time to regenerate. In effect, I put them all to sleep.
Captain William T. Riker: [baffled] To sleep?

"Ambassador": Captain - perhaps it would be best if we discussed this...
Commander William T. Riker: Shut up!
"Ambassador": I beg your pardon?
Commander William T. Riker: I said 'shut up'. As in 'close your mouth and stop talking'!

Locutus: We will proceed to Earth, and if you attempt to intervene, we will destroy you.
Captain William T. Riker: Then take your best shot, Locutus, 'cause we are about to intervene.

Lieutenant: Sir, Lieutenant La Forge reporting the Enterprise arriving, but without the saucer section, sir.
Commander William T. Riker: Stardrive section only? What happened?
Lieutenant: I don't know, sir. Captain Picard has signaled for you to beam up immediately.
Commander William T. Riker: Our new captain doesn't waste time. It's a good idea. Thank you, Lieutenant.

Commander William T. Riker: [aroused from his encounter with Kamala] Riker to bridge, if you need me, I'll be in holodeck 4.

Commander William T. Riker: Riker to Captain. I have a report for you, sir.
Capt. Picard: Picard here.
Commander William T. Riker: They're all dead. Apparently, some of them were blown out of the emergency hatches.
Capt. Picard: But there were 80 people on that ship, Number One.
Commander William T. Riker: Yes, sir. As I said... all dead.

[Captain Kargan has demanded from Riker to reveal the secrets of the Enterprise to him, which Riker refuses]
Commander William T. Riker: I will obey your orders, I will serve this ship as First Officer, and, in an attack against the Enterprise, I will die with this crew, but I will not break my oath of loyalty to Starfleet.
Captain: If you had told those secrets about the Enterprise, I would have labeled you a traitor and killed you where you stood, but instead you will die with us. You'll die like a Klingon.

Counselor: Nothing feels right. This room, this ship... most of all this war we're fighting.
Commander William T. Riker: I don't imagine war ever feels right.
Counselor: I suppose that's true.

[Riker and Yar are faced with the imminent threat of a deadly weapon]
Lieutenant: We could split up.
Commander William T. Riker: What good would that do?
Lieutenant: Confuse it, delay it, something.
Commander William T. Riker: It would still get us; it would just take a little longer.
Lieutenant: It might give one of us time to get out of range.
Commander William T. Riker: Out of *range*?
Lieutenant: Forget I said it. These devices wiped out an entire planet. I don't think it has a range.
Commander William T. Riker: Then what does that leave us?
[Yar bites her lip]
Commander William T. Riker: Right. That's what I thought.
[an energy blast from the newest drone narrowly misses them]
Lieutenant: On second thought, we could look for deeper cover!

Commander William T. Riker: Our own ignorance could kill us.

[Picard prepares to leave for Starbase 515 without giving a reason for his journey]
Commander William T. Riker: Forgive my saying so, sir, but you're being rather enigmatic.
Captain: Consider it Captain's privilege.
Commander William T. Riker: As First Officer, I have complete security clearance.
Captain: This has nothing to do with ship's business, Number One. Suffice it to say, it is strictly a matter of... 'image'.

[Worf has mistakenly detected a Borg ship]
Lt. Cmdr. Data: It is conceivable that he was viewing a synthetically generated image, sir.
Commander William T. Riker: Then our computer was daydreaming?

Commander William T. Riker: [after the Enterprise has allegedly passed through a wormhole] We're lucky we didn't end up halfway across the galaxy into the middle of next week.

Commander William T. Riker: I'm beginning to sense the elevated pheromones you were referring to.

[last lines]
Commander William T. Riker: I've only been there once, but they've got this great club - I don't remember the name of it. They serve those blue concoctions.
Counselor: It's across the square from the Zanza Men's Dance Palace.
Captain: It's called the Blue Parrot Cafe - and you're buying.

Captain: Let's drop the ranks for a moment. I don't like you. I think you're insubordinate, arrogant, willful, and I don't think you're a particularly good first officer. But you are also the best pilot on the ship.
Commander William T. Riker: Well... Now that the ranks are dropped, Captain, I don't like you either. *You* are arrogant, and closed-minded. You need to control everything and everyone. You don't provide an atmosphere of trust, and you don't inspire these people to go out of their way for you. You've got everybody wound up so tight, there's no joy in anything. I don't think you're a particularly good captain.

[Devos has shot Finn in order to save Picard's life]
Commander William T. Riker: You didn't have to kill him.
Alexana: As a prisoner, he would have been a focus for violence, as his followers tried to free him. Now, he's a martyr. But the death toll might go down, at least in the short term. It's an imperfect solution, for an imperfect world.

[Admiral Quinn is eager to show Riker an unknown "superior form of life"]
Commander William T. Riker: I think I'll summon my Science Officer.
Admiral: [grabs Riker's arm] It won't like your Science Officer. It does like *you*!

[the Enterprise investigates unusual geological activity in the Selcundi Drema sector]
Lt. Commander Data: Commander, I have been reviewing the unmanned probe scans. At some point during the last 150 years, the fifth planet of Selcundi Drema has shattered, forming an asteroid belt.
Commander William T. Riker: I'd call that geological instability.
Lieutenant: Is there any indication that this is the work of an unknown intelligence?
Commander William T. Riker: This is geology, not malevolence. These planets live fast and die hard. The question is, why?

Commander William T. Riker: How far can this relationship go? I mean, how real are you?
Minuet: As real as you need me to be.

Commander William T. Riker: [referring to Data's cat] 'Hissing ball of fur!'

Captain: Isn't it a little presumptuous of a first officer to second-guess his captain's judgment?
Commander William T. Riker: Permission to speak candidly, sir?
Captain: Always.
Commander William T. Riker: Having been a first officer yourself, you know that assuming that responsibility must, by definition, include the safety of the captain. I have no problem with following any rules you lay down, short of compromising your safety.
Captain: And you don't intend to back off from that position?
Commander William T. Riker: No, sir.

Commander William T. Riker: Fate. Protects fools, little children and ships named Enterprise.

Commander: I'm not willing to let this thing keep drilling into him.
Doctor: If somebody gets stabbed, you don't necessarily pull the knife out right away. It might do more harm than leaving it there.

Commander William T. Riker: [at the poker game in Commander Riker's quarters] Come in.
Counselor: Ben, what are you doing here?
Ben: I just cleaned out some junior officers and I thought I'd do the same here.
Commander William T. Riker: You're welcome to give it a try.

Omag: [banging his fist on the table in the bar; barks] Where's the waiter? Is there no waiter is this sorry place?
Commander William T. Riker: [walks to Omag's table with Lt. Worf by his side] Is there something wrong here?
Omag: Yes. I need more napkins.
Commander William T. Riker: [flatly] Use your sleeve!
Omag: [suspiciously] What did you say?
Commander William T. Riker: [about Omag's two female companions] Use one of *their* sleeves, I don't care!

Dr. Kate Pulaski: [Pulaski rushes in and begins to examine Ian] What happened? Did he eat anything, did he fall?
Counselor: [shakes her head] No!
Lt. Commander Data: [reads the readout on his tricorder] Commander, the child is the source of the unusual radiation.
Counselor: Ian said he was the reason the ship was in danger.
Lt. Commander Data: That analysis is correct.
Dr. Kate Pulaski: [continues to try to bring Ian around] I'm losing life signs.
Counselor: [holds Ian's lifeless hand] You must save him!
Dr. Kate Pulaski: [Pulaski continues to work, but to no success. She runs her scanner over Ian again, then bows her head] I'm sorry.
[Troi kneels down and begins to weep over the loss of her son. Suddenly, Ian's body disappears and becomes a small, radiant star of energy. The energy star floats into Troi's open hands and Deanna cups her hands around it. Her weeping slowly subsides, then she smiles. Finally, like releasing a dove, she opens her hands and the energy star floats up and through the bulkhead into space]
Lieutenant: [Riker's combadge beeps] Riker here.
Lieutenant: Commander, the containment field has... stabilized!
Commander William T. Riker: Thank you, Lieutenant.
Counselor: Then Ian was right. He was the cause.
Commander William T. Riker: Apparently so.
Counselor: [Deanna shakes her head and looks down for a moment, then looks back up at everyone] He is a life force entity. When we passed each other in space, he was curious about us, so he thought the best way to learn, was to go through the process. To be born, to live as one of us, and in that way, to understand us. He never meant any harm.
Commander William T. Riker: There was a moment, when you smiled.
Counselor: He said "Thank you". I told him, we will miss him.
[looks down again]
Counselor: And, I will.

Commander William T. Riker: [on reasons why he has declined the command of another starship] Maybe I'm just afraid of the big chair.

Commander William T. Riker: I don't think anyone's going to come to your defense this time.

[Riker tells Mauric and Lorin that Kes's application for Federation membership will be denied]
Mauric: We still plan to apply for membership, Commander! We will go directly to the Federation Council, they will listen to us!
Commander William T. Riker: They will also listen to the reports of the Captain of the Enterprise and his First Officer! And I can tell you right now the First Officer's report will go something like this: "Kesprytt, a deeply troubled world with social, political, and military problems they have yet to resolve. The Kes, while a friendly and democratic people, are driven by suspicion, deviousness, and paranoia. It is the opinion of this officer they are not ready for membership."

[Crusher threatens a bar keeper with a phaser]
Commander William T. Riker: That's my sister. She's angry. She's got a vicious temper. I wouldn't cross her.

Captain: The quest for youth, Number One - so futile. Age and wisdom have their graces, too.
Commander William T. Riker: I wonder if one doesn't have to have age and wisdom to appreciate that, sir.
Captain: I hope not, Number One.

Commander William T. Riker: What is this?
Etana: It's a game. Everyone here's playing it. It's fun!

Lieutenant: [at the poker table] I am experiencing... nIb'poH - the feeling I have done this before.
Commander William T. Riker: Yes, last Tuesday night.
Lieutenant: That's not what I mean.

Commander William T. Riker: I hope you're right, Data.
Lt. Commander Data: No question of it, sir.

Lieutenant: [pauses, then picks up the phone] Yes?
[turns to Riker and Data]
Lieutenant: There's a female voice asking if we want room service.
Lt. Commander Data: I believe she's asking if we want the room cleaned.
Commander William T. Riker: Tell her no.
Lieutenant: [turns to phone] No.
[pauses, then hangs up slowly]
Commander William T. Riker: What did she say?
Lieutenant: She said the kitchen will be open 24 hours a day if we change our minds.

[last lines]
Lt. Commander Data: I have been testing the aphorism, "A watched pot never boils." I have boiled the same amount of water in this kettle sixty-two times. In some cases I have ignored the kettle; in others, I have watched it intently. In every instance, the water reaches its boiling point in precisely 51.7 seconds. It appears I am not capable of perceiving time any differently than my internal chronometer.
Commander William T. Riker: Why don't you turn it off?
Lt. Commander Data: Sir?
Commander William T. Riker: Data, people do not *have* internal chronometers. Why don't you see what happens if you turn yours off?
Lt. Commander Data: Thank you, sir. I will try that.
[Riker nods and gets up to leave, but stops]
Commander William T. Riker: Just don't be late for your shift!

Capt. Picard: Take us...
Commander William T. Riker: Are you all right, sir?
Capt. Picard: Worf - you do know what to do. Take us, er...
Commander William T. Riker: Take us out of here!
Capt. Picard: Right.

Commander William T. Riker: Data, have you got a flush or a full house?
Lt. Commander Data: It will cost you twenty to make that determination, sir.

[Riker is protesting against the psychotectic therapy Soren is to undergo]
Commander William T. Riker: Did it occur to you that she might like to stay the way she is?
Noor: No, you don't understand. We have a very high success rate in treating deviants like this, and, without exception, they become happier people after their treatment, and grateful - that we care enough to cure them. You see, Commander, on this world, everyone *wants* to be normal.
Commander William T. Riker: She is!

Commander William T. Riker: With all due respect, sir, you'd be asking 125 people to die a meaningless death.
Lt. Commander Data: Not necessarily meaningless, Commander. The Klingons regard honor above all else. If the crew of the Enterprise-C had died fighting for the survival of a Klingon outpost, it would be considered a meaningful act of honor by the Klingon Empire.

Commander William T. Riker: Sometimes I wonder if he's stacking the deck.
Lt. Commander Data: I assure you, Commander, the cards are sufficiently randomized.
Lieutenant: I hope so.

Sam: My grandfather was Canadian, you know.
Commander William T. Riker: Really?
Sam: Aren't you one too?
Commander William T. Riker: [confused] A grandfather?
Sam: [laughs nervously] No, Canadian, sir, Canadian.
Commander William T. Riker: No, I grew up in Alaska.
Sam: Oh. Well, they both... get a lot of snow.

Counselor: [about Data and "Hutch"] They're still at it.
Commander William T. Riker: Non-stop. I have to admit, it has a sort of strange fascination. How long can two people talk about nothing?

[the Enterprise is set to auto destruct and time is running out]
Enterprise: Ten seconds to auto-destruct.
Commander William T. Riker: [tense] Captain...
Capt. Picard: Abort auto-destruct sequence.
Enterprise: Riker, William T., do you concur?
Commander William T. Riker: Yes, absolutely, I do indeed concur wholeheartedly!
Enterprise: Auto-destruct canceled.
[everyone breathes a huge sigh of relief]
Capt. Picard: A simple 'yes' would have sufficed, Number One.
Commander William T. Riker: I didn't want there to be any chance of misunderstanding.

Counselor: Mintakan emotions are quite interesting. Like the Vulcans, they have highly ordered minds. A very sensible people. For example, Mintakan women precede their mates. It's a signal to other women.
Commander William T. Riker: "This man's taken, get your own"?
Counselor: Not precisely. More like, "If you want his services, I'm the one you have to negotiate with".
Commander William T. Riker: What kind of services?
Counselor: All kinds.
Commander William T. Riker: They *are* a sensible race.

[Wesley is having trouble with his role as a team leader]
Commander William T. Riker: One of the reasons you've been given command is so you can make a few right decisions, which will lead to a pattern of success and help build self-confidence. If you don't trust your own judgment, you don't belong in the command chair.
Wesley: But what if I'm wrong?
Commander William T. Riker: Then you're wrong. It's arrogant to think that you'll never make a mistake.
Wesley: But what if it's something really important, I mean, not just a mineral survey? What if somebody dies because I made a mistake?
Commander William T. Riker: In your position, it's important to ask yourself one question: what would Picard do?
Wesley: He'd listen to everyone's opinion and then make his own decision - but he's Captain Picard.
Commander William T. Riker: Well, it doesn't matter. Once Picard makes his decision, does anyone question it?
Wesley: No way.
Commander William T. Riker: And why not?
Wesley: I'm not sure.
[Riker is ordered to the Captain's cabin over the comm]
Commander William T. Riker: When you figure it out, you'll understand command.

[Riker and Troi are discussing crew evaluations]
Commander William T. Riker: Why don't we just give everybody a promotion and call it a night - 'Commander'?
Counselor: Fine with me, 'Captain'.

Lt. Cmdr. Data: [Data is working one of the aft science stations after the Enterprise has been suddenly diverted to the planet Dytallix B] Commander, I have the readout on Dytallix B.
Commander William T. Riker: Go ahead.
Lt. Cmdr. Data: Dytallix B is the fifth of six planets circling the red giant known as Mira. One side faces the sun where temperatures reach up to 180 degrees Celsius. The mines line the temperate zone between the day and night zones, but they are long abandoned.
Commander William T. Riker: Why the devil would we be going to this place? Are there any lifeforms indigenous to the planet?
Lt. Cmdr. Data: I believe the answer to both questions is no, Sir. In a manner of speaking, it is nothing more than a lifeless hunk of rock, a useless ball of mud, a worthless chunk of...
Commander William T. Riker: [interrupting] Thankyou Data. I get the idea.

[final scene of the play 'Frame of Mind', with Riker as the patient and Data as the doctor]
Lt. Commander Data: Perhaps we should continue this discussion next week.
Commander William T. Riker: No. I wanna talk about this now!
Lt. Commander Data: You're starting to sound angry again. Maybe you need another treatment.
Commander William T. Riker: What I need is to get out of this cell! I've been locked up in here for days. You've controlled my every move, you told me what to eat, what to think, what to say. And when I show a glimmer of independent thought, you strap me down, inject me with drugs and call it a 'treatment'.
Lt. Commander Data: You're becoming agitated.
Commander William T. Riker: You bet I'm agitated! I may be surrounded by insanity, but I am not insane. And nothing you or anyone else can say will change that. And I won't let you or anyone else tell me that I am. You may be able to destroy my mind; but you can't change the fact that I'm innocent. I didn't kill that man!
Commander William T. Riker: [smirking madly] And that's what's driving *you* crazy.
Lt. Commander Data: I can see we have a lot of work to do.
[exits]
Commander William T. Riker: [shouts after him] Nothing you can say will change the fact that I'm innocent! I'm not crazy! I'm not crazy... I'm not crazy...
[lights fading out]

[first lines]
Commander William T. Riker: Damage report!
Doctor: Casualty reports coming in from all over the ship!
Lt. Commander Data: The starboard nacelle has sustained a direct impact. We are venting drive plasma.
Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge: Initiating emergency core shutdown!
Ensign: Inertial dampers failing. We're losing attitude control.
Commander William T. Riker: This is the bridge. All hands to emergency escape pods!
Lt. Commander Data: Core shutdown was unsuccessful. We are losing antimatter containment.
Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge: We've got to eject the core!
Lt. Commander Data: Ejection systems offline. Core breach is imminent.
Captain: All hands abandon ship! Repeat: all hands aban...!
[the Enterprise explodes]

Lt. J.G. Jean: [in an alternate timeline, as Junior Lt. Picard] Excuse me, am I interrupting?
Commander William T. Riker: No, not at all. Have a seat.
Lt. J.G. Jean: Thank you. I'd like to talk to you for a moment about my future on the Enterprise.
Commander William T. Riker: Of course, Lieutenant. Jean-Luc, is it?
Counselor: Maybe I should go.
Lt. J.G. Jean: No, please, Counselor, I would very much like to hear your thoughts. First of all, and I would like you to be absolutely straightforward with me... how would you rate me as an officer?
Counselor: Well, um... your performance records have always been good. You're thorough, dedicated...
Commander William T. Riker: [searching desperately] Steady, reliable... punctual...
Lt. J.G. Jean: I see. What would you say if I told you that I believed that I was capable of being very much more?
Commander William T. Riker: Perhaps we should discuss this at your next evaluation.
Lt. J.G. Jean: I would appreciate it if we could discuss it now. You see, I feel that I would like to move beyond astrophysics to engineering or security, something that might even lead to command.
Commander William T. Riker: Frankly, Lieutenant... I don't think that's realistic.
Lt. J.G. Jean: Why?
Counselor: I really don't think this is the place to be discussing this.
Lt. J.G. Jean: Please. This is important to me. I believe that I can do *more*.
Counselor: Hasn't that been the problem all along? Throughout your career you've had lofty goals, but... you've never been willing to do what's necessary to attain them.
Lt. J.G. Jean: Would that be your evaluation as well, Commander?
Commander William T. Riker: I think I have to agree with the Counselor. If you want to get ahead, you have to take chances. Stand out in a crowd. Get noticed.
Lt. J.G. Jean: [dismayed] I see.
Commander William T. Riker: Now, we don't want to lose you. You're a very good officer.
Lt. J.G. Jean: Just not one who stands out.
Commander William T. Riker: Why don't I talk to Commander LaForge in engineering and see what we can do?
Lt. J.G. Jean: But... command?
Commander William T. Riker: [smiles sympathetically] Well... we'll see.

Commander William T. Riker: [trying to create a link between Data's head and the computer] You need a bigger head.

Commander William T. Riker: Data, what's on your mind?
Lt. Commander Data: Recent events have left me puzzled, sir. It has been days since Ishara left, and yet my thoughts seem to dwell on her. Almost as if I were experiencing a feedback loop in my mnemonic network.
Commander William T. Riker: I know what you mean.

Lieutenant: [the crew are trying to rescue a freighter from burning up in a planet's atmosphere] Captain, the tractor beam is available... if you want it?
Commander William T. Riker: At least we could pull them out of orbit before they enter the atmosphere.
Captain: [to the viewscreen] Freighter, we're going to lock on the tractor beam and pull you out of orbit.
T'Jon: Hey, that... that's great.
[Picard can't quite hide his bemusement with Captain T'Jon's cavalier attitude in this crisis situation]
Lt. Worf: [the Enterprise tractor beam tries and fails to grab onto the freighter] Captain, the freighter's orbit continues to deteriorate.
Lieutenant: The solar flares are interfering with the tractor beam, Captain. I can't lock on.
Captain: Captain T'Jon, we are unable to attach the tractor beam because of the intense solar activity.
T'Jon: [disinterested as ever] I understand. Thanks for trying.

Lt. Worf: I have restored life support. The oxygen levels will return to normal shortly.
Commander William T. Riker: Captain Scott, Lt. Worf.
Scotty: [surprised] Lieutenant?
Lt. Worf: Yes.
Commander William T. Riker: Captain, perhaps there are a few things we should talk about.

[Devos has agreed to go along with Riker's attempt to contact the Ansata separatists]
Commander William T. Riker: Is that what you want?
Alexana: What I want... is to go home. Back to my own country. To leave behind the round-ups, the interrogations. The bodies lying in the street. To be able to walk without the bodyguards, and not to have to jump at every unexpected noise. That's what I want, Riker!

Captain: Perhaps they're all remembering that old saying "Power corrupts".
Commander William T. Riker: And absolute power corrupts absolutely. Do you believe I haven't thought of that, Jean-Luc?
Captain: And have you noticed how you and I are now on a first name basis?

Counselor: [about Lwaxana] I was all set for another round of arguing when all of a sudden, she just fell apart.
Commander William T. Riker: She's under a lot of stress. She's preparing the Cairn to meet with the Federation Council.
Counselor: It's more than that. I'm sensing some very erratic emotions from her. Even the clothes she's wearing are unusual. They're so subdued.
Commander William T. Riker: [takes Deanna's wrist] Maybe you just need sit and talk with her for a minute.
Lwaxana: Commander! Take your hands off her!
[Takes his hand off Deanna]
Commander William T. Riker: [Surprised] Mrs. Troi...
Lwaxana: Don't you "Mrs. Troi" me!
Counselor: Mother!
Lwaxana: Why don't you leave her alone? If it weren't for you, she'd be married by now!
Counselor: That's enough!
Lwaxana: Now, I am warning you - stay away from my daughter!
Counselor: You're coming with me.

Q: I'm forgiven! My brothers and sisters of the Continuum have taken me back. I'm immortal again! Omnipotent again!
Commander William T. Riker: Swell.

[last lines]
Wesley: And you don't remember anything?
Lt. Cmdr. Data: Not a thing.
Wesley: "To know him is to love him is to know him"?
Lt. Cmdr. Data: Perhaps it is best that I do not remember. I trust I did nothing... unbecoming to a Starfleet officer?
Commander William T. Riker: Does wrestling with a Klingon targ ring a bell?
Capt. Picard: Mr. Crusher, take us out of orbit.
Wesley: Aye, sir.
Lt. Cmdr. Data: Did I win?

Commander William T. Riker: You did a good job. I'm proud of you.
Wesley: Thank you, sir. Does it get any easier?
Commander William T. Riker: Nope.

Commander William T. Riker: The wars are over, Yuta.
Yuta: You cannot understand.
Commander William T. Riker: You're right, I can't. Because I've seen the part of you that regrets what you've become.

Commander William T. Riker: [to Troi and her chocolate ice cream] Would you like me to leave you two alone?

Captain: Picard to bridge.
Cmdr. William Riker: Riker here.
Captain: Number One, what is my present location?
Cmdr. William Riker: Engineering. Is something wrong, sir?
Captain: No. Thank you. Picard out. Our comm badges must be locked into the simulation. If that had been the real Commander Riker, he would have given my location as holodeck 3.

Counselor: Thank you for making me face my other half.
Commander William T. Riker: Frightening, wasn't it?
Counselor: A little. You were right, though. There is something to be learned when you're not in control of every situation.
Commander William T. Riker: Welcome to the Human race.

Captain: I've never before seen the Lieutenant so... unsettled.
Commander William T. Riker: The Iceman's finally melting.

Captain: I can use serving officers as legal counsel. You, as the senior officer, would defend.
Capt. Picard: Very good.
Captain: And the unenviable task of prosecuting this case would fall on you, Commander, as the next most senior officer of the defendant's ship.
Commander William T. Riker: I can't. I won't. Data's my comrade. We have served together. I not only respect him, I consider him my friend.
Captain: When people of good conscience have an honest dispute, we must still sometimes resort to this kind of adversarial system.
Commander William T. Riker: You just want me to prove that Data is a mere machine. I can't do that, because I don't believe it. I happen to know better, so I am neither qualified nor willing. You're going to have to find someone else.
Captain: Then I will rule summarily based on my findings. Data is a toaster. Have him report immediately to Commander Maddox for experimental refit.

Captain William T. Riker: How much do you remember?
Jean: Everything. Including some brilliantly unorthodox strategy from... a former first officer of mine.

K'Mtar: [about Quark] Could not he have been lying?
Commander William T. Riker: Why would he? I'd just be knocking on his door again in a few days, and I wouldn't be in as good a mood.

Commander William T. Riker: But it won't be boring. If Q is anything, he's imaginative.

[Picard has introduced Riker and Troi to each other]
Captain: Have the two of you met before?
Commander William T. Riker: We have, sir.
Captain: Excellent. I consider it important for my key officers to know each other's abilities.
Counselor: We do, sir. We do.

Letek: [inspecting Riker's Starfleet communication badge] It looks like gold... tastes like gold...
Cmdr. William Riker: [catching the Ferengi by surprise] It IS gold.

[last lines]
Captain: Some problem, Riker?
Commander William T. Riker: Just hoping this isn't the usual way our missions will go, sir.
Captain: Oh, no, Number One. I'm sure most will be much more interesting. - Let's see what's out there. Engage!

Commander William T. Riker: One final request, sir. Permission to beam a box of Data's Chinese finger puzzles over to the Ferengi? A thank you, for all they tried to do.
Captain: Make it so.

Commander William T. Riker: Mr. Worf, escort our Ferengi guests to quarters - not too close to mine.

Commander William T. Riker: The rules on this ship do not change just because Ro Laren decides they do!

Commander William T. Riker: If we resist, we die. If we don't resist... we die.

[Troi explains to Riker that Manua Apgar hasn't been lying during her account of events]
Commander William T. Riker: We can't both be telling the truth.
Counselor: It is the truth as each of you remembers it.
Commander William T. Riker: But her version puts a noose around my neck.

[in the attempt to get a spoonful of ice cream, Jono has accidentally splashed it across Wesley's face to everyone's amusement, except...]
Lt. Commander Data: I fail to understand why this is amusing.
Commander William T. Riker: Access your data banks under 'Humor', subheading 'Slapstick'.
Lt. Commander Data: 'Comedy stressing farce and horseplay'. Ah. This, no doubt, is a variation on 'pie in the face'.
Commander William T. Riker: Now do you see why it's funny?
Lt. Commander Data: No, sir. But I will take your word for it. This is very amusing.

Commander William T. Riker: Quark! I see you remember me.
Quark: How could I forget the only man ever to win triple-down dabo on one of my tables?
Commander William T. Riker: And how could I forget that you didn't have enough latinum to cover my winnings?

Barash: My name is Barash.
Commander William T. Riker: To me, you'll always be Jean-Luc.

Commander William T. Riker: [after seeing the holo-character Minuet for the first time] Gentlemen - if this is what you call 'enhancement', you've got a gift for understatement.

Commander William T. Riker: The only way we knew we'd come out of warp was by looking out a window.

Doctor: We have one hour before curtain. How are you feeling?
Commander William T. Riker: I feel like an actor.

[Picard has offered himself as a hostage in exchange for the injured in Ten Forward]
Commander William T. Riker: Sir, putting you down there only strengthens their position.
Captain: Number One, so long as they're on board this ship, I'm a hostage no matter where I am. We all are.

[Riker has challenged Kolrami to a game of Strategema]
Lieutenant: So, you're gonna beat him, huh?
Commander William T. Riker: No.
Lieutenant: Well, then it's gonna be a close one?
Commander William T. Riker: No.
Lieutenant: But you have got a chance?
Commander William T. Riker: Naah!
Lieutenant: Are you even gonna bother to show up?
Commander William T. Riker: Sure. Kolrami is the best ever at Strategema. Just to get to play him is a privilege.
Lieutenant: So, aside from your being privileged, is there anything else I can look forward to?
Commander William T. Riker: Nope.
Lieutenant: [lame] This is gonna be exciting.

Alternate Captain William T. Riker #2: We won't go back!

Commander William T. Riker: Hugh?
Hugh: What are you doing here, Commander Riker? Hasn't the crew of the Enterprise done enough damage already?

Commander William T. Riker: Nobody said life was safe.

Commander William T. Riker: It's just that our mental pathways have become accustomed to your sensory input patterns.
Lt. Commander Data: Hm. I understand. I am also fond of you, Commander. And you as well, Counselor.

Scotty: Well, thank you, lads. Oh, well, we got to get Franklin out of there.
Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge: Someone else's pattern is still in the buffer?
Scotty: Aye, Matt Franklin. We went in together.
[working on the console]
Scotty: Something's wrong. One of the inducers has failed. Boost the gain on the matter stream. Come on, Franklin. I know you're still in there.
[sighing]
Scotty: It's no use. His pattern has degraded 53%. He's gone.
Commander William T. Riker: I'm sorry.
Scotty: So am I. He was a good lad.

Alexana: [discussing her methods in dealing with the Ansata] Believe it or not, I always considered myself moderate.
Commander William T. Riker: What changed your mind?
Alexana: Being stationed here the last six months. Watching the body count grow. The three assassination attempts on my life.
Commander William T. Riker: I can see where that could affect your point of view.
Alexana: The event that really opened my eyes took place only a few days after my arrival. A terrorist bomb destroyed a shuttlebus... 60 schoolchildren. There were no survivors. The Ansata claimed it was a mistake. That their intended target was a police transport. As if that made everything alright. That day I vowed to put an end to terrorism in this city. And I will.

Commander William T. Riker: What's your name? Tell me you love jazz.
Minuet: My name is Minuet, and I love all jazz, except Dixieland.
Commander William T. Riker: Why not Dixieland?
Minuet: You can't dance to it.
Commander William T. Riker: My girl!

[Riker has given a rather mediocre performance on his trombone at his birthday party]
Counselor: [after Riker has blown out the candles on his cake] So, what did you wish for, Will?
Commander William T. Riker: Music lessons!

Commander William T. Riker: Yankee traders. I like the sound of that.
Lt. Commander Data: Well, sir, I doubt they wear red, white, and blue or look anything like Uncle Sam.

Commander William T. Riker: To travel the distance we did in two days at warp 1, would have taken the Odin escape pod five months.
Lt. Commander Data: 5 months, 6 days, 11 hours, 2 minutes...
Commander William T. Riker: Thank you, Data.
Lt. Commander Data: ...and 57 seconds.

Ensign: So, if everything were back to the way it was supposed to be, what do you think you'd be doing right now?
Commander William T. Riker: I'd be having more fun than searching the ship, I'd imagine.
Ensign: [surprised] Fun?
Commander William T. Riker: Well, with that holodeck we just saw. I think I could conjure up an interesting program or two.
Ensign: Now, that's disappointing.
Commander William T. Riker: Why?
Ensign: You don't strike me as a man who needs a holodeck to have a good time.

Commander William T. Riker: Like a rag in a dog's mouth.
[after Picard has been twice hit and thrown about by an energy beam]

Commander William T. Riker: [Riker is vacationing on Risa with Etana Jol, a beautiful alien. While lying on the bed in Riker's hotel room, she produces some sort of headset and places it over Riker's ears] What is this?
Etana: It's a game. Everyone here's playing it, it's fun!
Commander William T. Riker: Do I keep my eyes opened or closed?
Etana: Open.
Commander William T. Riker: [Etana activates a switch on the device and two red beams are projected into Riker's eyes] What am I seeing?
Etana: The playing field.
[a red grid overlayed against Riker's vision appears and a blue cone with a red floating disc both emerge from it]
Commander William T. Riker: Now what?
Etana: [laughing softly, her voice becomes more seductive] You see the disc and the cone?
Commander William T. Riker: Yeah.
Etana: Concentrate. Make the disc go into the cone.
Commander William T. Riker: [unsure how to react] How do I do that?
Etana: [amused] Just let go. Relax. You'll do it.
Commander William T. Riker: [Riker tries to will the disc into the cone and misses, but when he tries a second time, the disc goes in, the cone returns to the grid and Riker suddenly comes over all funny, but in a good way. Riker looks over at Etana's pleased expression] What was that?
Etana: [Etana's now grinning like a Cheshire Cat] Your reward... for clearing the first level.
Commander William T. Riker: [Riker's feeling pretty good] How far does this game go?
Etana: As far as you can take it. Would you like to go for Level 2?
[Riker just smiles and focuses all his attention on the two discs and two cones that have appeared. This time the discs go in with ease and Riker experiences an even greater sensation of pleasure. Etana's smile becomes more knowing as she continues to watch Riker's reactions to the game]

Admiral: How do you allow Klingon pahtk to walk around in a Starfleet uniform?
Lieutenant: You are lucky this is not a Klingon ship. We know how to deal with spies.
Admiral: Remove this tohzah from my sight!
Commander William T. Riker: Your knowledge of Klingon curses is impressive. But as a Romulan might say, only a veruul would use such language in public.

Commander William T. Riker: After this tour, I may have some worthy questions.
Lt. Klag: Questions about what? About our future? Our future is honor. Our present is serving this ship.

Commander William T. Riker: [about the tenacity of the Rikers] My great-grandfather once got bit by a rattlesnake. After three days of intense pain... the snake died.

Captain: Where is Bok?
Commander William T. Riker: Removed from command, sir, and placed under guard for his act of personal vengeance. Seems there was no profit in it.
Captain: In revenge there never is.

Commander William T. Riker: Short and sweet. God-like efficiency.

Commander William T. Riker: DaiMon Tog, I thought the Krayton left orbit hours ago.
DaiMon: It did. But when I tried to get the image of Lwaxana Troi out of mind, I could not succeed.
[gives Lwaxana flowers]
Lwaxana: [takes them and tosses them over her shoulder] This is ludicrous. You mean, you came all the way back to Betazed for me?

Cmdr. William Riker: From inside the Enterprise? You're sure?
Lt. Commander Data: The first and third E-band blips were clearly generated on board the ship. The second came from the planet's surface.
Cmdr. William Riker: Generated by what?
Lt. Commander Data: Unknown, sir.
Cmdr. William Riker: Mr. Data, we have a known spy on board. And now we have unexplained signals on board. I think it's reasonable to assume that they're related somehow, wouldn't you?
Lt. Commander Data: One could speculate that the E-band is being used for some form of covert communication.
Cmdr. William Riker: We need more than speculation, Mr. Data. We need to know who, what, where, when and why. Or we may be going to war.
Lt. Commander Data: Yes, sir.

Commander William T. Riker: Martyrs cannot be silenced.

Commander William T. Riker: When we brought the shuttle and the other Picard on board, we committed to a sequence of events which may be unalterable.

Commander William T. Riker: What's the Zakdornian word for 'mismatch'?
Sirna: Challenge.

[Dr. Crusher has suggested introducing a destructive breed of nanites into the Borg]
Captain William T. Riker: How long would it take to execute that?
Doctor: That's the problem. Two to three weeks.
Counselor: In two or three weeks, nanites may be all that's left of the Federation.

[in a poker round]
Counselor: It seems to me that you and Lavelle are a lot alike.
Commander William T. Riker: What? We're not at all alike!
Doctor: You're bluffing.
[in another poker round]
Sam: You think so?
Ben: Yes. And I'm not gonna let you get away with it.

Captain: The question is, how're we going to deal with it?
Commander William T. Riker: We could confine him to his quarters.
Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge: How can we do that? What's he done? I mean, we're talking about locking a man up for being too smart.

Devinoni: [of Troi] She's a remarkable woman. Brilliant, lovely... very passionate. And she could've been yours, Will. But you just didn't do enough to keep her. And now, well... I'm here. And I'm gonna take her, too.
Commander William T. Riker: [smiles sardonically] That's the first bad play I've seen you make. If you can bring happiness into Deanna's life, nothing would please me more. You know, you're really not such a bad sort, Ral. Except you don't have any values - beyond the value of today's bid, that is. Deanna is just the woman to bring some meaning to your sorry existence, if you're smart enough to take it. I doubt that you are. To the last mile.

Commander William T. Riker: New friends, Captain?
Captain: I can't say, Number One. But at least they're not new enemies.

[Riker makes omelets for his fellow crew members]
Dr. Kate Pulaski: Ah, you have a practiced hand, Commander.
Commander William T. Riker: Yes, I have my father to thank.
Dr. Kate Pulaski: Your father? Liked to cook?
Commander William T. Riker: No, he hated it. That's why he left the chore to me.

[the mother of Jeremy, a little boy, has died in an away mission]
Commander William T. Riker: Do you know Jeremy well?
Wesley: [shakes his head] But I know what this is gonna be like for him.
Commander William T. Riker: That's part of life in Starfleet, Wesley.
Wesley: I know. They're very careful to prepare us for anything. But still...
Commander William T. Riker: I know.
Wesley: How do you get used to it? The telling them?
Commander William T. Riker: You hope you never do.

[Riker takes Troi in his arms to console her]
Counselor: Is this how you handle all your personnel problems?
Commander William T. Riker: Sure. You'd be surprised how far a hug goes with Geordi - or Worf.

Commander William T. Riker: Will he return to the planet?
Capt. Picard: If he is the creature of conscience I believe him to be, he has someone to help first.

Lieutenant: I would never want to come between you and someone you are involved with, or had ever been involved with.
Commander William T. Riker: Is there someone in particular that you're talking about?
Lieutenant: No. - Is there someone in particular you would rather I not be involved with?
Commander William T. Riker: Mr. Worf, you sound like a man who's asking his friend if he can start dating his sister.

Admiral William T. Riker: [about his relationship with Troi] I didn't want to admit that it was over. I always thought that we would get together again. And then she was gone. You think you have all the time in the world, until... Yeah...

Commander William T. Riker: Now - the matter of our missing officers.
Lorin: They're still charged with spying, Commander. I have heard nothing here which would alter that.
Commander William T. Riker: Then maybe you should consider this: if anything happens to them, Starfleet is going to want a full investigation. Which means more starships will be coming to Kesprytt, and those ships are going to want answers, which puts your country under a very large and very uncomfortable microscope. Remember how unhappy you were when we contacted just one of your people without authorization? Well, just think what it'd be like: ten starships asking questions, contacting hundreds of your people, massive sensor sweeps. They may even start sending down away teams, all because *you* wouldn't help me find my missing officers.

Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge: Broccoli makes me nervous, Captain. He makes everybody nervous.
Capt. Picard: "Broccoli"?
Commander William T. Riker: Young Mr. Crusher started that, I guess it's caught on.
Capt. Picard: Let's just get that *un*-caught, shall we?

[Riker has decided to stay on board the Enterprise]
Captain: Any particular reason for this change of heart?
Commander William T. Riker: Motivated self-interest. Right now, the best place for me to be is here.

Commander William T. Riker: [confused about recent events] Captain?
Captain: [sighs] It's going to take... a little time to explain, Number One.

Commander William T. Riker: Facing death is the ultimate test of character. I don't wanna die, but if I have to - I'd like to do it with a little pride.
Counselor: And a lot of impudence.
Commander William T. Riker: You bet.

Commander William T. Riker: I think it would be best if you weren't so personally involved with Aquiel right now; there's a lot about her we don't know.
Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge: And there's a lot about her that I do know. And if she's innocent I want to help her prove it.
Commander William T. Riker: I think you've let your personal feelings cloud your judgement.
Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge: I'm not the one making judgements.

[after an attempt to rescue Picard has failed]
Commander William T. Riker: The Captain?
Lt. Commander Data: We were unable to retrieve him, sir. The Captain has been altered by the Borg.
Commander William T. Riker: Altered?
Lieutenant: He IS a Borg.

Captain: Acting Ensign Wesley Crusher has expressed his desire to remain on the Enterprise.
Commander William T. Riker: I see. And, how did you respond?
Captain: I haven't yet, Number One, I didn't feel it was my decision alone. His remaining, will have effects on all of us.
Commander William T. Riker: Good point, with his mother gone, who will see to his studies?
Captain: That's true. Of course, that responsibility would fall to Commander Data.
Commander William T. Riker: And, who will tuck him in at night?
Wesley: [embarrassed] Come on, Commander!
Lieutenant: [somewhat reluctant] I will accept that responsibility.
Counselor: Well, we know he'll get his sleep
[looks to Worf and smiles]
Counselor: .
Captain: [looks to Riker, put his hand on his chin in thought] You know, Number One? It seems to me that you would be best suited for these responsibilities. Are you willing to serve?
Commander William T. Riker: Difficult decision.
[Riker looks to Wesley, who looks back in quiet anticipation. Riker grins]
Commander William T. Riker: Yes, I can do that.
Captain: [looks to Wesley] Very well, Mr. Crusher, contact your mother at Starfleet Medical, give her my regards, and tell her that you have my permission to remain on the Enterprise. But
[points to Wesley]
Captain: I will abide by her wishes.
Wesley: [grins] Yes, Sir! Thank you, Sir! I know she'll agree!
Captain: Now, do you have course and speed laid in?
Wesley: Yes Sir, they are!
Captain: Very well, Mr. Crusher. Engage.
[Wesley grins, and sets the Enterprise's next course]

Commander William T. Riker: This has been very educational, but I make it a policy never to open another man's gift.
Kamala: I know my role in history, Commander, but it's gonna be a long voyage.

Commander William T. Riker: Ship's log, First Officer Riker. Enterprise will be destroyed unless it can be moved out of the path of the star material hurtling toward us. Our only hope is for Lt. Commander Data, in the time we have left, to regain his senses and reconnect engine power to the bridge.

Captain: Tell me about your ship, Riker. It's the Enterprise, isn't it?
Commander William T. Riker: No, the name of my ship is the Lollipop.
Captain: I have no knowledge of that ship.
Commander William T. Riker: It's just been commissioned. It's a good ship.

Commander William T. Riker: The more difficult the task, the sweeter the victory.

Doctor: Did he ever tell you why he never remarried?
Commander William T. Riker: What woman would have him, with an ego like that?
Doctor: I would have, in a cold minute.

Commander William T. Riker: It's been my understanding that one of the duties of the first officer of the Klingon vessel is to assassinate his captain?
Lieutenant: Yes, sir.
Commander William T. Riker: Wouldn't that bring about chaos?
Lieutenant: Of course not. See, when and if the captain becomes weak or unable to perform, it is expected that his honorable retirement should be assisted by his First. Your second officer will assassinate you for the same reasons.

Commander William T. Riker: [to Troi] The look in your eyes, I recognize it. You used to have it for me.

Lt. Cmdr. Data: [about whether the tar-like oil slick that is Armus is a living creature] It is possible. It possesses two of the requisites for life.
Voice: [his deep, almost demonic voice is heard for the first time] Very good, tin man!
[Armus slowly lifts himself like a slimy ghost rising from the dead, before the landing party's very eyes]
Capt. Picard: [back on the Enterprise Bridge, Picard becomes concerened] What is it, Number One? What are you seeing?
Commander William T. Riker: [grimly; as Armus reaches his full height] Trouble.

Devinoni: Commander, I realize what a difficult position this must be for you. If you don't understand something, I hope you won't be too embarrassed to ask me.
Commander William T. Riker: I think I have an idea what the rules are.
Devinoni: Well, that's what makes it so interesting. The rules of the game change to fit the moment.
Commander William T. Riker: Not unlike commanding a starship, Mr. Ral.

Commander William T. Riker: I can see why your father wants to marry you off.
Brenna: Oh! And why is that?
Commander William T. Riker: So he can have a pipe and a mug of beer in peace.

Commander William T. Riker: This is not about revenge. This is about justice. The Captain died in a bar fight, for nothing. Somebody has to answer for that. Then I can mourn.

Commander William T. Riker: What do we do now, Captain? With their monitoring our every move and every word?
Captain: We do exactly what we'd do if this Q never existed. If we're going to be damned, let's be damned for what we really are.

[Data has been given charge of arranging a memorial service for Geordi and Ro. Picard and Riker enter the lounge and find balloons, cocktails, and a brass band playing a lively tune]
Captain: Well, this is... unusual.
Commander William T. Riker: [grinning] Yeah. I think I like it.

Lt. Worf: We have entered a massive gravitational field, Captain.
Lt. Commander Data: There are no stars or other stellar bodies listed on our navigational charts. However, sensors indicate the presence of an extremely strong gravitational source in this vicinity.
Captain: Can you localize the source of the gravitational field?
Commander William T. Riker: [Data puts it on the viewscreen] Sensors?
Lt. Commander Data: I am having difficulty scanning the object. It appears to be approximately 200 million kilometers in diameter.
Commander William T. Riker: That's nearly as large as the Earth's orbit around the sun.
Captain: Why didn't we detect this before now?
Lt. Commander Data: The object's enormous mass is causing a great deal of gravimetric interference. That might have prevented our sensors from detecting it before we dropped out of warp.
Captain: Mr. Data... could this be a Dyson sphere?
Lt. Commander Data: The object does fit the general parameters of Dyson's theory.
Commander William T. Riker: A Dyson sphere?
Captain: It's a very old theory, Number One. I'm not surprised that you haven't heard of it. In the 20th century, a physicist called Freeman Dyson postulated the theory that an enormous, hollow sphere could be constructed around a star. This would have the advantage of harnessing all the radiant energy of that star and any population living on the interior surface would have virtually inexhaustible sources of power.
Commander William T. Riker: Are you saying you think there are people living in there?
Lt. Commander Data: Possibly a great number of people, Commander. The interior surface area of a sphere this size is the equivalent of more than 250 million Class-M planets.

[Beata is trying to seduce Riker, who is slightly resisting]
Commander William T. Riker: It's not my function to seduce or be seduced by the leader of another world.
Beata: It's not the reason.
Commander William T. Riker: No, it's not. But will you still respect me in the morning?
Beata: I hope so.

Commander William T. Riker: You disagree with me, fine. You need to take it to the Captain, fine - through me. You do an end run around me again, I'll snap you back so hard you'll think you're a first-year cadet again.
Lt. Cmdr Elizabeth Paula Shelby: May I speak frankly, sir?
Commander William T. Riker: By all means.
Lt. Cmdr Elizabeth Paula Shelby: You're in my way.
Commander William T. Riker: Really? How terrible for you!
Lt. Cmdr Elizabeth Paula Shelby: All you know how to do is play it safe. I suppose that's why someone like you sits in the shadow of a great man for as long as you have, passing up one command after another.

Captain: We're going to assume the Yamato's mission.
Commander William T. Riker: And risk a war?
Captain: Perhaps... prevent one.

Counselor: You know what the worst part of this is? And I've seen it happen to so many patients.
Commander William T. Riker: What?
Counselor: The way other people change. How they start to treat you differently. They walk on eggshells around you. Sometimes they avoid you altogether. Sometimes they become overbearing - "reach out a helping hand to the blind woman".
Commander William T. Riker: I'm sorry if I...
Counselor: I will not be treated that way!

Admiral William T. Riker: All right, let's get out of here.
Picard: No, Will, we can't! We have to save humanity!

[last lines]
Captain: Have we any idea what came through the rupture before we were able to shut it down?
Lt. Cmdr. Data: No, sir. We were unable to track it once it left the cargo bay.
Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge: Maybe it was a probe of some kind.
Lt. Cmdr. Data: Possibly they were simply curious, explorers, like ourselves.
Commander William T. Riker: Ensign Rager and I were lucky to have escaped. Lieutenant Hagler is dead. Whoever it was that sent that thing was more than simply curious.

Commander William T. Riker: Could someone survive inside a transporter buffer for 75 years?
Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge: I know a way to find out.

Counselor: [on the two-dimensional beings] It's all right. They're home. We were wrong. The cosmic string was never dangerous to them; it was the one place in the galaxy they most wanted to be.
Commander William T. Riker: Deanna?
Counselor: Yes - I sensed it!

Commander William T. Riker: I'm not that far gone, am I?
Attendant: Of course you are.

[after questioning Riker's status as his commanding officer, Lieutenant Klag gets a thrashing from the former]
Commander William T. Riker: My oath is between Captain Kargan and myself. Your only concern is with how you obey my orders. Or do you prefer the rank of prisoner to that of lieutenant?
Lt. Klag: [subdued] I will take your orders.

[about the Borg encountered on Ohniaka III]
Commander William T. Riker: They were fast, aggressive, almost vicious. It was more like fighting Klingons than...
[realizes]
Commander William T. Riker: ... Borg.
[to Worf]
Commander William T. Riker: No offense.
Lieutenant: None taken.

Commander William T. Riker: You're outmanned, you're outgunned, you're outequipped. What else have you got?
Lieutenant: Guile.

[Riker prevents Deanna from telling her mother off]
Counselor: Why did you stop me? Somebody needs to set her straight.
Commander William T. Riker: I think I'll leave that to the Captain.
Counselor: Coward.

[after Worf has temporarily played "Captain" of the Enterprise]
Commander William T. Riker: How did you like command?
Lieutenant: Comfortable chair.
K'Ehleyr: And you wore it well.

Commander William T. Riker: [on Data's warning of breaking Starfleet rules by saving Ramsey's group] I'd rather face a court martial than live with the guilt of leaving these people to their deaths.

Lt. Commander Data: Sorry, sir. I seem to be commenting on everything.
Commander William T. Riker: Good. Don't stop, my friend.

Commander William T. Riker: I wasn't a hero, and neither were you. What you did was wrong. And I was wrong to support you, but I was too young and too stupid to realize it. You were the captain, I was the ensign. I was just following orders.

Commander William T. Riker: Captain, if he's not open to evidence in our favor, where will you go from there?
Captain: I'll attend to my duty.
Commander William T. Riker: To the bitter end?
Captain: I see nothing so bitter about that.

[Picard has arranged for snacks for Admiral Nechayev]
Commander William T. Riker: Earl Grey tea, watercress sandwiches... and Bularian canapés? Are you up for promotion?

Lt. Commander Data: Captain, your orders were to deliver the message, correct?
Captain: Yes.
Lt. Commander Data: Then, what is the difference between sending the message and delivering it personally?
Commander William T. Riker: A whopping big one, and you know it.
Lt. Commander Data: Sir, we have come this far.
Captain: In for a penny, in for a pound. Is that what you're saying, Mr. Data?

Commander William T. Riker: I don't mean to be indelicate,
[turns to Troi]
Commander William T. Riker: but who's the father?
Counselor: Last night, *while I slept*, something, that I can only describe as a presence, entered my body.
Captain: A life form of unknown origin and intent, is *breeding*, right now, inside of Counselor Troi. Our purpose here today is determine what course of action we need to take.
Lieutenant: The decision is clear. The pregnancy must be terminated to protect the ship.
Commander William T. Riker: [as the bridge crew is discussing the issue, Troi hears a heartbeat within her mind, and looks down at her stomach, then back up to the conference room screen which shows a gestating fetus. The crew's voices are muffled, but can still be clearly heard as Troi is focusing on the baby growing inside her] This situation presents a danger to us and the counselor. It's an invasion, of what, I don't know.
Lt. Commander Data: Captain, this is a life form. Denying it the right to survive, takes away our opportunity to study it.

Commander William T. Riker: Data, we've only seen the Crystalline Entity once before. How do you know these metals will protect us?
Lt. Commander Data: I am not entirely certain they will, sir.
Commander William T. Riker: I was afraid you were going to say something like that.

Commander William T. Riker: Are you taking all these books?
Captain: Oh, well, I'll take some light reading, in case I got bored.
Commander William T. Riker: "Ulysses" by James Joyce? "Ethics, Sophistry and the Alternate Universe", Ving Kuda - you call that 'light reading'?
Captain: To each his own, Number One.

[after the Borg have abducted Picard]
Lieutenant: Sir, the coordinates they have set - they're on a direct course to sector 001. The Terran system.
Commander William T. Riker: Earth.

Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge: I'm running a level 1 diagnostic.
Commander William T. Riker: For thirty hours? It would never take you more than four. You're incapable of that level of incompetence, Mr. La Forge!

Commander William T. Riker: With the saucer gone, can I assume that something interesting happened on the way here?
Lieutenant: [leading him into a turbolift] Battle bridge. That's for the captain to explain, sir.

Commander William T. Riker: [to his alter ego during a poker game] I practiced in the mirror too long to be fooled by that face. You're bluffing.

Commander William T. Riker: [more than two days before the start of a battle simulation] Do you care to surrender now, Captain?

Commander William T. Riker: And here we are.
Captain: Here we are *again*.

[last lines]
Captain: Mr. La Forge, take us out of orbit.
Lieutenant: Destination, sir?
Captain: I don't care. Let's just get some distance between us and this system.
Lieutenant: Aye, sir. Course 9-7-0 Mark 3-1-8, speed... warp 3.
Commander William T. Riker: Where will that take us, Mr. La Forge?
Lieutenant: The Opperline system.
Commander William T. Riker: An interesting choice. Why?
Lieutenant: Curiosity. We've never been there.
Captain: Engage.

Captain: Can you predict how long this has been in the cavern?
Lt. Commander Data: Decomposition strongly indicates that life was terminated approximately five hundred years ago. That would be consistent with the other artifacts we recovered.
Commander William T. Riker: Your head is not an "artifact"!

[Riker, Troi and La Forge are looking for Barclay in his holo-fantasy]
Commander William T. Riker: You want us to search through all this to find him?
Counselor: It could provide us with valuable information about what's troubling him. You know, there's nothing wrong with a healthy fantasy life, as long as you don't let it take over.
Commander William T. Riker: You call this healthy?
Counselor: You're taking it so seriously. It's not without its element of humor.
[they come across another, Troi look-alike character]
Holo: I am the Goddess of Empathy. Cast off your inhibitions and embrace love, truth, joy...
Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge: Oh - my - God.
Holo: Discard your façades, and reveal your true being to me.
Counselor: [indignantly] Computer, discontinue...
Commander William T. Riker: Computer, belay that order!
Commander William T. Riker: [to Troi] We want to get more insight into what's been troubling this poor man, remember?
Commander William T. Riker: [to La Forge] Quite a healthy fantasy life - wouldn't you say?
Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge: [agreeing] Mm.

Commander William T. Riker: [about Riker] He's athletically inclined, loves to climb mountains; he's from somewhere called Alaska, enjoys exotic food... and takes his vacations on a planet called Risa.

[last lines]
Captain: [hoarsely, still recovering from the virus] Mr. Data, set course for the Neutral Zone, warp 6.
Lt. Commander Data: Coordinates set, warp 6, on your mark, sir.
Captain: [croaks, almost inaudibly] Engage.
Lt. Commander Data: ...Sir?
[Picard looks pleadingly at Riker]
Commander William T. Riker: Engage!

Commander William T. Riker: We no longer enslave animals for food purposes.
Badar: But we have seen Humans eat meat.
Commander William T. Riker: You've seen something as fresh and tasty as meat, but inorganically materialized, out of patterns used by our transporters.
Badar: This is sickening. It's barbaric!

Lt. Commander Data: They are the most unusual humans I have ever encountered.
Commander William T. Riker: Well, from what I've seen of our guests, there's not much to redeem them. Makes one wonder how our species survived the 21st century.

Lieutenant: What is this place? How did a being like you get here?
Asst. Manager: Why, this is the Royale, of course. And my personal life is really none of your business, thank you.
Commander William T. Riker: What he means is, what planet is this?
Asst. Manager: I beg your pardon?
Commander William T. Riker: This planet, what do you call it?
Asst. Manager: Earth. What do you call it?
Lieutenant: We call it Theta VIII.
Asst. Manager: How charming.

Captain: The original Tarchannen disappearances were never solved, were they?
Lt. Cmdr. Susanna Leijten: No. We never learned what happened or why. 49 people, gone.
Commander William T. Riker: And five years later, the away team that was investigating their disappearances have started to disappear themselves.
Lt. Cmdr. Susanna Leijten: [nods] Geordi and I are the only two left.

[last lines]
Capt. Picard: You have the bridge, Number One.
Marissa: Aye, sir.

Commander William T. Riker: Eternity never looked so lovely.

Captain: I understand you've been discussing alternative adversarial engagement strategy with Mr. Mot.
Commander William T. Riker: It'd be more accurate to say he was discussing them with me. He's the best barber in Starfleet. What can you do?

Captain: I've just been paid a visit from Q.
Commander William T. Riker: Q? Any idea what he's up to?
Captain: He wants to do something "nice" for me.
Commander William T. Riker: I'll alert the crew.

Lieutenant: [in a poker round] Four hands in a row. How does he do it?
Commander William T. Riker: I cheat.
[Data looks up, suspicious]
Commander William T. Riker: I'm kidding!

Commander William T. Riker: [Worf loses control during a training exercise] The exercise is over!
[Worf doesn't hear him, and attacks]
Commander William T. Riker: AT EASE, LIEUTENANT!

[Jameson is suffering from the agonizing effects of the drug]
Commander William T. Riker: The Admiral?
Captain: Sickbay. 'Not good' is a galactic understatement.

Commander William T. Riker: Okay, I'm looking for you.
Amarie: Ah, you just made my day.
Commander William T. Riker: I have to ask about your husband.
Amarie: Well... it was nice while it lasted. Which husband?
Commander William T. Riker: The dead one, I'm afraid.
Amarie: Ooh, you must be from the Enterprise. You destroyed his ship.
Commander William T. Riker: He was into some bad business and took the evidence with him.
Amarie: His one endearing quality - he always cleaned up after himself.

[Dr. Crusher is treating a cut on Riker's forehead]
Doctor: You've gotta stop playing parrises squares as if you're twenty-one years old. One of these days, you're gonna fall and break your neck, and I'm not gonna be able to heal that as easily.
Commander William T. Riker: I wasn't playing parrises squares.
Doctor: Worf's calisthenic program?
Commander William T. Riker: No.
Doctor: I give up. What was it?
Commander William T. Riker: I was trying to feed Spot.

Lt. Thomas Riker: I thought if one thing were clear by now, it's that you and I play things a little differently.
Commander William T. Riker: Why don't we wait and see who comes out on top?
Lt. Thomas Riker: I thought you were willing to settle for second, Commander.
Commander William T. Riker: I've never settled for anything in my life. I know what I want, I know what I've got, and you'd be lucky to do so well, Lieutenant.

Counselor: Tell me one thing - is there a solution? Or is this simply a test of my ability to handle a no-win situation?
Commander William T. Riker: There is a solution.
Counselor: Then give me time to find it!
Commander William T. Riker: I can't. As much as I care about you, my first duty is to the ship.

[despite having been shut down earlier, the holodeck has reactivated itself]
Lieutenant: Which program is running?
Lt. Commander Data: Several different programs are running simultaneously.
Commander William T. Riker: This should be interesting.

Commander William T. Riker: What is our mission?
False: I'm under no obligation to tell you that.
Commander William T. Riker: If you don't, you force me to take command of this vessel.
False: On what grounds?
Commander William T. Riker: You are endangering this ship for no reason.
False: No reason *you're* aware of.
Commander William T. Riker: That's not good enough. Your behavior has been erratic.
False: Erratic enough to justify mutiny? Do you honestly believe you have sufficient evidence to convince a board of inquiry?
Commander William T. Riker: No, I don't. But I can't let you risk the lives of this crew.

Commander William T. Riker: When in Rome, eh?
Lieutenant: When where, sir?

Commander William T. Riker: When the train comes in, everybody rides.
Texas: Yeah. And I'm gettin' off at this station.

Commander William T. Riker: [as the Enterprise approaches a suspected Romulan base] I don't like it. I would've expected a greeting party.
Captain: You echo another noteworthy commander in similar circumstances, Number One. A countryman of yours - George Armstrong Custer, when his Seventh Cavalry arrived at the Little Big Horn.
Commander William T. Riker: May we have better luck.

Commander William T. Riker: Flair is what marks the difference between artistry and mere competence.

Counselor: [to Picard] My mother is beginning a physiological phase. It's one that all Betazoid women must deal with as they enter midlife.
Commander William T. Riker: Yes, it's something Troi warned me about when we first started to see each other. A Betazoid woman, when she goes through this phase... quadruples her sex drive.
Counselor: Or more.
Commander William T. Riker: Or more? You never told me that.
Counselor: I didn't want to frighten you.

Lt. Cmdr. Data: [of the "hole" in space] Sir, our sensors are showing this to be the absence of everything. It is a void without matter or energy of any kind.
Commander William T. Riker: Yet this hole has a form, Data; it has height, width...
Lt. Cmdr. Data: Perhaps. Perhaps not, sir.
Capt. Picard: That's hardly a scientific observation, Commander.
Lt. Cmdr. Data: Captain, the most elementary and valuable statement in science, the beginning of wisdom, is, "I do not know". I do not know what that is, sir.

Commander William T. Riker: I could develop feelings for Minuet. Exactly as I would for any woman.
Captain: Doesn't love always begin that way? With the illusion more real than the woman?

Commander William T. Riker: Ever since he came on board, I find myself thinking about the choice that you and I made.
Counselor: Me too.
Commander William T. Riker: Do me a favor. Be careful.
Counselor: Will, I know you and he have had some problems.
Commander William T. Riker: That's not what I'm talking about. If he had gotten off the planet instead of me, don't you think he would've made the same choices that I made? I just don't want you to be hurt again.

[Riker is demonstrating the abilities bestowed upon him by Q]
Commander William T. Riker: [to Geordi] And you, my friend, I know what you want.
[with a wave of his hand, Riker restores Geordi's eyesight]
Lieutenant: [seeing Tasha for the first time] You're as beautiful as I imagined. And more.
Commander William T. Riker: Then we can throw away the VISOR?
Lieutenant: I don't think so, sir.
[Geordi glances at Q]
Lieutenant: The price is a little too high for me. And I don't like who I'd have to thank.
[Geordi takes his VISOR back and sits down]
Lieutenant: Make me the way I was.
[pleadingly]
Lieutenant: Please!

[Dr. Crusher has been abducted by terrorists]
Captain: I would like to leave Commander Riker here to assist in your search for Dr. Crusher.
Alexana: [shrugs] If you like.
Commander William T. Riker: You don't sound very optimistic.
Alexana: I know my enemy, Commander; they don't leave much room for optimism.

Commander William T. Riker: [to a group while in a seedy bar searching for Picard who's gone missing] Great story. I'll remember it the next time I'm in a knife fight.

[the Enterprise is contacting a local starship depot regarding the destroyed Vulcan ship]
Lt. Worf: I have made contact, Commander.
Commander William T. Riker: On screen. I'm Commander William Riker from the Federation Starship Enterprise.
Klim: Klim Dokachin, Quartermaster, Surplus Depot Zed One Five.
Commander William T. Riker: I need some information about a Vulcan ship, the T'Pau. It was sent to you a few years ago.
Klim: Did you arrange an appointment?
Commander William T. Riker: An appointment? No.
Klim: Then I will be unable to help you. You may communicate with scheduling.
[transmission ends]
Commander William T. Riker: Who does he think he is?
Counselor: The Quartermaster of the supply yard, with information you need.
Commander William T. Riker: Right. Mr. Worf, re-establish communication.
Lt. Worf: Aye, sir.
Commander William T. Riker: Mister Dokaychin?
Klim: Dokachin. Klim Dokachin.
Commander William T. Riker: Mister Dokachin, the information I need involves a matter of major importance to the Federation. I'll need access to your logs, your files. My people can do the work.
Klim: I don't allow outsiders into my computer system..
Commander William T. Riker: All right, one of your people can do the work.
Klim: I wish I had the people to spare. I don't.
Commander William T. Riker: [becoming indignant] Well, sir, what would you suggest?
Klim: I don't know. Contact me when you reach orbit.
[transmission ends]
Commander William T. Riker: I don't believe this.
Counselor: He's king of his particular hill, Commander. You'll have to treat him that way.
Commander William T. Riker: [smiles at Troi] Counsellor, this feels like a perfect job for you.

[Riker has addressed Amarie about her late husband]
Amarie: And what do you want from me?
Commander William T. Riker: I was hoping you might know his business partners.
Amarie: And why should I help you?
Commander William T. Riker: To be honest, I can't think of a good reason.
Amarie: Well, you did kill my ex-husband - and that's not a bad start - so why don't you drop a few coins in the jar and I'll see what I remember.
Commander William T. Riker: I don't carry money.
Amarie: Well, you don't offer much, do you?
Commander William T. Riker: [smiles] Move over.
[He starts playing a jazz tune on her keyboard]
Amarie: [who has four arms] Oh, just what I needed - another pair of hands.
Commander William T. Riker: Know this one? Twentieth Century Earth. Keep watching, I may be able to teach you a lick or two.
Amarie: [playing with him] You already have.

Commander William T. Riker: Well - would anyone else like to speak up? Or shall we end this charade?
Commander: As you wish, Commander Riker. The charade is over.

[last lines]
Captain: You made a mistake twelve years ago. But your service since then has earned you a great deal of respect, but this incident could cost you some of that respect.
Commander William T. Riker: I can't help but feel that I should have come forward a long time ago.
Captain: But when the moment came to make a decision, you made the right one. You chose to tell the truth and face the consequences. So long as you can still do that, then you deserve to wear that uniform. And I will still be proud to have you as my First Officer.

Q: My purpose is to join you.
Commander William T. Riker: To join us as what?
Q: As a member of the crew, willing and able, ready to serve. This ship is already home for the indigent, the unwanted, the unworthy. Why not for a homeless entity?
Commander William T. Riker: Homeless?
Q: Yes.
Commander William T. Riker: The other members of the Q Continuum kicked you out?
Guinan: Not all the Q are alike. Some are almost respectable.

["Mac Duff" has been revealed as a Satarran bent on annihilating the Lysians]
Commander William T. Riker: With all the power that MacDuff had, to alter our brain chemistry and manipulate the computers, it's hard to believe he needed the Enterprise.
Captain: The Satarran weapons technology was no more advanced than the Lysian. One photon torpedo would have ended their war.
Commander William T. Riker: It almost did.

Natasha: [on the ship coming through the anomaly] Definitely Federation starship. Accessing registry...
Commander William T. Riker: Looks like they had a rough ride.
Natasha: "NCC 1701 - C... USS - Enterprise"...

Baran: [about his control devices] These devices were the idea of my predecessor. It's a convenient way of enforcing discipline.
Commander William T. Riker: What happened to him?
Baran: He failed to enforce it with me.

Captain: He was here in this room, Will. I could have rid the Federation of a mortal threat, and I let him go.
Commander William T. Riker: Sending Hugh back to the Borg was a very risky... a very dangerous choice. But it was the moral thing to do.
Captain: Well, it may turn out that the moral thing to do was not the right thing to do.

Q: [on Amanda] None of us knew whether she had inherited the capacities of the Q, but recently they've begun to emerge, and, uh, as an expert in humanity, I was sent to investigate.
Commander William T. Riker: You, an expert in humanity?
Q: Not a very challenging field of study, I grant you.

Commander William T. Riker: When I was at the Academy, we had a Vulcan superintendent who had memorized the personnel files of every single cadet, knew everything about them. It was like having your parents around all the time.
Capt. Picard: My superintendent was a Betazoid, full telepath. When he sent for you to his office, he didn't have to ask what you'd done.

Commander William T. Riker: What is that?
Wesley: My experiment from the Enterprise.
Commander William T. Riker: Wes.
Wesley: It deals with high-energy plasma reactions with antimatter.
Commander William T. Riker: You went back to the Enterprise for that? Wes, you cheated.
Wesley: No, sir. You told me to improvise.

[Troi is looking at some old photos and other things of one of her father's ancestors]
Counselor: I look at these faces and... I wonder who they are and if they could be related to me.
Commander William T. Riker: [holds up a teddy bear] This one looks like you.

Commander William T. Riker: Computers have always impressed me with their ability to take orders. I'm not nearly as convinced of their ability to creatively give them.

Captain: Warp without warp drive.
Commander William T. Riker: They're gonna put you out of a job, Geordi.
Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge: I hope so, Commander.

Commander William T. Riker: [as the Enterprise is fired on] Shall we return their fire, sir?
Captain: Negative, Number One. They're just responding to our close pursuit. Fall back a bit, but stay with them.
Lt. Commander Data: They are slowing, too, sir.
Lieutenant: They may be turning to fight.
Captain: Open hailing frequen... why are we gaining on them? Don't anticipate.
Lieutenant: I'm not, sir. Something's wrong.

Counselor: You have no idea how frightening it is to... to just be here, without sensing you, without sharing your feelings.
Commander William T. Riker: That's it, isn't it? We're on equal footing now.
Counselor: What?
Commander William T. Riker: You always had an advantage, a little bit of control of every situation. That must have been a very safe position to be in. To be honest, I'd always thought there was something a little too... aristocratic about your Betazoid heritage, as if your Human side wasn't quite good enough for you.
Counselor: That isn't true.
Commander William T. Riker: Isn't it?

Commander William T. Riker: Remember the course in ancient history at Starfleet Academy? About the time when men still believed the Earth was flat?
Capt. Picard: Mmm. And that the sun revolved around it.
Commander William T. Riker: And that if a ship sailed too far out into the ocean, it would fall off the edge of the world.
Capt. Picard: "Beyond this place, there be dragons." It's even said that crews threatened to hang their captain from the yardarm if he refused to turn back.
Commander William T. Riker: I'm sure no one here has that in mind, sir.
Capt. Picard: How comforting, Number One.

Commander William T. Riker: [to a comatose Deanna] I miss you. Please don't stay away too long.

[last lines]
Commander William T. Riker: You come from a very brave and unique people. I'm glad you're with us on the Enterprise.
Lieutenant: Thank you, Commander. And... welcome home.

[last lines]
Counselor: Was it a relaxing trip, Captain?
Captain: Uh-huh.
[and heads off to his ready room]
Commander William T. Riker: I knew he'd have a great time!

Commander William T. Riker: Some days you get the bear and some days the bear gets you.

Cmdr. William Riker: [while fighting a Ferengi] I got this one!
Lt. Cmdr. Data: [while holding a flailing Ferengi up with one arm] Be careful, commander. They are a lot stronger than...
[the Ferengi whom Riker is fighting with, punches Riker in the face. Riker falls to the ground heavily. Data winces in chagrin and shakes his head]

[Picard talks to Riker about taking the post as captain of another ship]
Commander William T. Riker: With all due respect, sir - you need me. Particularly now.
Capt. Picard: Indeed. Starfleet needs good captains, particularly now.

Commander William T. Riker: Riker, W.T., reporting as ordered, sir.
Captain: Is the viewer ready?
Lieutenant: All set up, sir.
Captain: We'll first bring you up to date on a little adventure we had on our way here, Commander. Then we'll talk. Welcome aboard.

Commander William T. Riker: So - have a nice vacation?
Captain: It was a nice place to visit, Number One, but... I wouldn't want to die there.

Devinoni: [about negotiating] You know, you're very good at this - very good. Much better than you realize.
Commander William T. Riker: Well, I hope I'm better than *you* realize.

Yuta: As... the Sovereign has no further need for my services this evening, she suggested I might spend some time with you.
Commander William T. Riker: What a charming suggestion.

Lt. Thomas Riker: You always had the better hand - in everything.

Riker: They're reasonable people. They're just trapped in their own anger.

Commander William T. Riker: [about the 20th-century Humans] Having them on board is like a visit from the past.
Captain: That would take us in the wrong direction. Our mission is to go forward - and it's just begun.

Commander William T. Riker: [in command of the Enterprise] Make it so.

Commander William T. Riker: Do you consider yourself superior to us?
Lt. Commander Data: I am superior, sir, in many ways. But I would gladly give it up to be human.
Commander William T. Riker: Nice to meet you... Pinocchio.

Cmdr. Hutchinson: You must be Will Riker.
Commander William T. Riker: I must be.

[last lines]
Counselor: Looking back on the past few days, it's as though I'm looking at a holodeck projection... of someone else.
Commander William T. Riker: That's how it seemed to all of us.
Counselor: Thanks for sticking by me.
Commander William T. Riker: I always will... even when you're old and gray.

[Riker has been infected with some unknown microbes]
Captain: And the unknown can be benign... or malevolent.
Commander William T. Riker: Captain, one of the things I've learned on these voyages, and on this ship and from you... is that most life forms act out of an instinct for survival, not out of malice.
Captain: It's an important lesson. And I admire your lack of resentment, Number One.
Commander William T. Riker: If you drop a hammer on your foot, it's hardly useful to get mad at the hammer.

Commander William T. Riker: [of the Borg] They're carving us up like a roast.

Commander William T. Riker: Captain, I think this is one instance where you should suppress your natural tendencies.
Captain: Oh, really?
Commander William T. Riker: One of your strengths is your ability to... evaluate the dynamics of a situation, and then take a definitive, pre-emptive step, take charge. Now you're frustrated because you not only can't see the solution, you can't even define the problem.
Captain: Hm... Go on.
Commander William T. Riker: What we're facing is neither a person nor a place, at least not yet. It's time.
Captain: You're saying I should just sit down, shut up and wait.
Commander William T. Riker: Well, I wouldn't have put it exactly like that.
Captain: Not something I'd do easily.
Commander William T. Riker: Your Persian flaw.
Captain: Yes, perhaps it is.

Commander William T. Riker: [the Enterprise is immobilized] Obviously, we've underestimated their technology, Captain.
Captain: Considerably. It appears the Ferengi have us right where they want us: in their sights.

[after being hit by an energy wave, everybody on the Enterprise appears to have lost their memories]
Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge: Looks like we're all in the same boat.
Commander William T. Riker: Make that the same starship.

[Picard has managed to persuade Starfleet Command to establish a blockade against the Romulans]
Commander William T. Riker: Nicely done. I hope we know what we're doing.
Captain: So do I, Number One.

[last lines of season 3]
Commander William T. Riker: Mister Worf - fire!

Commander William T. Riker: What I don't understand, sir, is how Karnas knew that you were still... available.
Admiral: Still alive, you mean.

[last lines]
[after the crew's memories have been restored, Riker and Ensign Ro have to come to terms with their recent fling]
Ensign: The Counselor tells me that at times like that, we might do the things that we've always wanted to do.
Commander William T. Riker: She said that?
Counselor: It's psychologically valid.
Ensign: Commander, don't worry about it. As far as I'm concerned, you and I have shared something that we will treasure forever.
[gets up and leaves]
Commander William T. Riker: [flustered] Well... I'm a little confused.
Counselor: Well, if you're still confused tomorrow, you know where my office is.

Commander William T. Riker: Status report, Mr. Data.
Lt. Commander Data: I am afraid the prisoner has eluded us, sir.
Capt. Picard: [incredulous] Eluded the Enterprise?

[a guard keeps Riker in check with a phaser]
Commander William T. Riker: You won't need that.
Attendant: [laughs] That's what you said the last time.

Commander William T. Riker: Well, I know this much: we can't avoid the future.

Commander William T. Riker: Remember Sandoval? Hit with a disrupter blast two years ago - she lived for about a week... Fang-Lee, Marla Aster, Tasha Yar? How many men and women, how many friends have we watched die? I've lost count. Every one of them, every single one fought for life until the very end!
Lieutenant: I do not welcome death, Commander.
Commander William T. Riker: Are you sure? Because I get the sense you're feeling pretty noble about this whole thing. "Look at me! Aren't I courageous, aren't I an honorable Klingon?" Let me remind you of something: a Klingon does not put his desires above those of his family, or his friends.

[Worf has hailed a small vessel drifting in space]
Lieutenant: That's odd...
Commander William T. Riker: What's odd?
Lieutenant: We've received a response, but...
Captain: Yes, Mr. Worf?
Lieutenant: They want you to move over, sir.
Captain: Reply that the Enterprise isn't going anywhere, Lieutenant.
Lieutenant: Not the Enterprise, Captain. *You*.

Counselor: [after Riker has appeared rather confused during his play] It's nothing to be embarrassed about; we're your friends. We all know the stress you've been under. I'm sure everyone understands perfectly.
[Data passes by]
Lt. Commander Data: Commander, I must congratulate you on your performance this evening.
Commander William T. Riker: Oh?
Lt. Commander Data: Your unexpected choice to improvise was an effective method of drawing the audience into the plight of your character. You gave a truly realistic interpretation of multi-infarct dementia.
[walks on]
Commander William T. Riker: [bemused] Thank you.
Counselor: Well, maybe not *everyone* understands.

Captain: I understand from Dr. Crusher that Worf will never regain the use of his legs.
Commander William T. Riker: That doesn't mean that his life is over.
Captain: That's a very Human perspective, Will. For a Klingon in Worf's position... his life is over.

[Q has offered Riker to become part of the Q]
Commander William T. Riker: To become a part of you? I don't even like you.
Q: You're gonna miss me!

Wesley: Those Academy cadets can be extremely competitive.
Commander William T. Riker: But you have the practical experience, Wes.
Lt. Commander Data: Commander Riker is correct. While the information imparted to cadets at the Academy is unquestionably vital for prospective Starfleet officers, it nonetheless requires a significant period of supplementary systems training and situational disciplines.
Commander William T. Riker: Didn't I just say that?
Lt. Commander Data: Yes, sir. But not quite as perspicuously.

Portal: [referring to the Ferengi] What of them? Shall I destroy them?
Commander William T. Riker: Then they would learn nothing.
Portal: A most interesting conclusion, but... what if they never learn, Riker?
Commander William T. Riker: Is this a test also?
Portal: Hm. In life, one is always tested.

Commander William T. Riker: Deanna, back off!

[Riker prepares to beam over to the Borg ship with an away team]
Guinan: I wouldn't go there if I were you.
Commander William T. Riker: I don't know, Guinan. They paid us a visit; it seems only fair that we return the courtesy.

Lieutenant: I am asked to give up the very lifeblood of my mother and my father to those who murdered them!
Commander William T. Riker: So you blame all Romulans for that?
Lieutenant: Yes!
Commander William T. Riker: Forever? What if someday, the Federation made peace with the Romulans?
Lieutenant: Impossible.
Commander William T. Riker: That's what your people said a few years ago, about Humans. Think how many died on both sides in that war. Would you and I be here now like this, if we hadn't been able to let go of the anger and the blame? Where does it end, Worf? If that Romulan dies... does his family carry the bitterness on another generation?

[Sarek and his party have arrived on the Enterprise]
Commander William T. Riker: The way Mendrossen described him, I expected to see a frail old man.
Captain: I hope *I'm* that frail when I'm 202 years old.

Commander William T. Riker: [about the Bynars] For them there are only two choices, one or zero - yes or no.

Commander William T. Riker: [Riker's about to turn down a ship of his own to command for the third time and he doesn't even know why] What am I still doing here? Deanna, I pushed myself hard to get this far. I... I sacrificed a lot. I always said I wanted my own command and yet... something's holding me back. Is it wrong for me to want to stay?
Counselor: [a typical psychologist's response - answering a question with a question] What do you think?
Commander William T. Riker: [musing it over] Maybe I'm just afraid of the big chair?
Counselor: I don't think so.
Commander William T. Riker: [he doesn't think so either] The Captain says Shelby reminds him of the way that I used to be... and he's right. She comes in here full of drive and ambition... impatient... taking risks. I look at her and I wonder what happened to those things in me. I liked those things about me. I've lost something.
Counselor: You mean you're older... more experienced...
[chooses her next words with care]
Counselor: ... a little more... seasoned.
Commander William T. Riker: [but not careful enough for Riker's taste] Seasoned? That's a horrible thing to say to a man.
Counselor: I don't think you've lost a thing, and I think you've gained more than you realise. You're much more comfortable with yourself than you used to be.
Commander William T. Riker: [she may have hit on something there] Maybe that's the problem. I'm too comfortable here.
Counselor: I'm not sure I know what that means. You're happy here... happier then I've ever known you to be. So, it comes down to a simple question... what do you want Will Riker?
[what indeed?]

Commander William T. Riker: Fear is the true enemy. The only enemy.

Gia: We didn't know his real name. So we called him Jayden.
[...]
Gia: What was his real name?
Commander William T. Riker: Data.
Gia: Data... He was my friend too.

[Ro has managed to steal Enterprise's medical supplies, with 'announcement']
Commander William T. Riker: Now we know what they mean by 'advanced' tactical training.

Capt. Picard: Number One - will you note in our report that if the government of Angosia survives the night, we will offer them Federation assistance in their efforts to reprogram their veterans.
Commander William T. Riker: And if the government doesn't survive?
Capt. Picard: I have a feeling they will choose to.

Commander William T. Riker: Is it my imagination, or have tempers become a little frayed on this ship lately?
Lieutenant: I hadn't noticed.
[they enter Ten Forward, where a mass brawl is in full swing]
Lieutenant: I see what you mean.

Lieutenant: Captain, we're receiving 285,000 hails.
Alternate Captain William T. Riker #1: I wish I knew what to tell them.

Commander William T. Riker: We know you're dealing in stolen ore. But I wanna talk about the assassination attempt on Lieutenant Worf.
B'Etor: What assassination attempt? This is the first I've heard of it.
Lursa: Too bad it didn't succeed!
[laughs maliciously]

Commander William T. Riker: They either don't see us or don't see us as a threat.

[the Enterprise goes through a series of system failures while facing a Romulan battle cruiser]
Wesley: Sir, the shields are back up.
Commander William T. Riker: Impeccable timing!
Wesley: Sir, the shields are back down.
Ensign: Phaser banks are down.
Wesley: Shields are back up.
Counselor: In another time and place, this could be funny.
Commander William T. Riker: Status of torpedo banks?
Ensign: They're down too.
Commander William T. Riker: [frustrated] If it should become necessary to fight, could you arrange to find me some rocks to throw at them?

[Riker is caught off guard when offered with a dish of live gagh]
Lt. Klag: Would you like something easier?
Commander William T. Riker: Easier?
Lt. Klag: Yes. If Klingon food is too strong for you, perhaps we could get one of the females to... breast-feed you.

[with the power of induced dreams, Riker has overcome his infection]
Dr. Kate Pulaski: How do you feel?
Commander William T. Riker: Beat. You wouldn't believe the dreams I was having.
Counselor: Oh, yes, we would.

Commander William T. Riker: [of the energy life form] She offers him everything. All we can offer is the cold reality of his mother's death.
Doctor: What would you choose? If somebody came along and offered to give you back your mother, father or husband - would any of us say no so easily?

[Deanna is in a downed shuttlecraft but Armus blocks the away team's path to her]
Commander William T. Riker: She needs our help!
Voice: So what?

Aaron: We grow up knowing exactly what our society needs from us, what we are expected to do.
Commander William T. Riker: That must take some of the fun out of it.
Aaron: Not at all. My entire psychological makeup tells me that I was born to lead. I am exactly what I would choose to be. Think of it another way: are there still people in your society who have not yet discovered who they really are or what they were meant to do with their lives? They may be in the wrong job, they may be writing bad poetry or, worse yet, they may be great poets working as laborers, never to be discovered. That does not happen here.

Captain: I have been studying the Iconians since I was a cadet. I have to be the one to go. The Enterprise is yours.
Commander William T. Riker: [to himself] As long as she lasts.

Capt. Picard: What is it, Number One? What are you seeing?
Commander William T. Riker: Trouble.

Commander William T. Riker: [of the phaser that Ishara Yar has used against Data] Set to kill.

[Riker has reluctantly agreed to let the Captain visit the Ligonians on their planet]
Commander William T. Riker: But I warn you. If you get hurt, I'll put you on report, Captain.

[from Troi's traumatic memory]
Commander William T. Riker,15313: [respectively] Have you stopped thinking about us?

Commander William T. Riker: [referring to Picard] He calls that a little adventure?

Captain: [returning from the Promellian battle cruiser] Thrilling. That was... absolutely thrilling. And I was right, Number One. There were ghosts on board that old ship. One of them actually spoke to us.
Commander William T. Riker: A friendly one, I hope?
Captain: My own counterpart - the Captain's final message, praising his crew.
Commander William T. Riker: I hope you'll be as thoughtful when the time comes.

[Lt. Cmdr. Data walks in on Lal kissing Cmdr. Riker]
Lt. Cmdr. Data: Commander - what are your intentions toward my daughter?
Commander William T. Riker: [baffled] Your daughter?
Commander William T. Riker: [to Lal, flustered] Nice to meet you!
[storms out]

Lt. Commander Data: With this power drain, we may have trouble communicating with the Enterprise, sir.
Commander William T. Riker: Understood. Anything else?
Lt. Commander Data: Due to this force field, there is presently no way to beam us back, sir.
Lieutenant: Oh, you had to ask...

Lt. Commander Data: My positronic brain has several layers of shielding to protect me from power surges. It would be possible for you to remove my cranial unit and take it with you.
Commander William T. Riker: Let me get this straight. You want me to take off your head?
Lt. Commander Data: Yes, sir. Is something wrong, sir?

Doctor: Normal all across. Except... why are you perspiring, Lieutenant?
Lt. Geordi La Forge: I suppose because *you* have it too hot in here. What else would it be?
Commander William T. Riker: That doesn't sound like you, Geordi.
Lt. Geordi La Forge: Well, maybe it's not. Maybe she threw her voice.
[Crusher and Riker look at each other, concerned]
Lt. Geordi La Forge: Hey, it was a joke.

[after transporting to the Borg vessel, Riker, Data and Worf come across a nursery of Borg children]
Commander William T. Riker: [communicating with Picard] From the look of it, the Borg are born as a biological life form. It seems that almost immediately after birth, they begin artificial implants. Apparently, the Borg have developed the technology to link artificial intelligence directly into the humanoid brain. Astounding.

Commander William T. Riker: And you have this ability, to travel?
The: Yes.
Commander William T. Riker: And others of your kind have the same ability?
The: Oh, yes.
Commander William T. Riker: Then why, in all of our history, is there no record of you or someone like you ever having visited us?
The: What wonderful arrogance! There is no record because we have not visited you before.
Commander William T. Riker: Why not?
The: Well, because, up until now - if-if you'll forgive this - you've been... uninteresting.

[the crew and Mendoza are assessing their rivals at the negotiations]
Commander William T. Riker: I think that Devinoni is the one that we need to watch out for.
Seth: An accurate observation. How did you recognize that?
Commander William T. Riker: Well, he was the most comfortable one in the group.
Seth: You must play poker, Commander.
Commander William T. Riker: [feigning ignorance] Poker - is that a game of some sort?

Commander William T. Riker: You're going to call my bluff, aren't you? I think I'll quit while I'm ahead.
Doctor: How did you know I was going to call your bluff?
Commander William T. Riker: I just had a feeling.
Doctor: Me too...

[last lines]
Captain: If ever we needed reminding of the importance of the Prime Directive, it is now.
Commander William T. Riker: The Prime Directive doesn't apply. They're Human.
Captain: Doesn't it? Our very presence may have damaged, even destroyed their way of life. Now, whether or not we agree with that way of life, whether they're Human or not, is irrelevant, Number One. We are responsible.
Commander William T. Riker: We had to respond to the threat of the core fragment, didn't we?
Captain: Of course we did, but in the end, we may have proved just as dangerous to that colony as any core fragment could ever have been.

Captain William T. Riker: Commander, we don't have to like each other to work well together. As a matter of fact, I'd like you to continue to keep me on my toes.
Lt. Cmdr. Elizabeth Paula Shelby: Some might define that as the role of a first officer.
Captain William T. Riker: Damn! You *are* ambitious, aren't you, Shelby?

Cmdr. William Riker: Release control of this ship!
Moriarty: I'm afraid I can't do that.

Commander William T. Riker: [after yet another warp drive failure] Talk about going nowhere fast.

Doctor: He taught violin technique at the music school last night.
Commander William T. Riker: I didn't know Barclay played the violin.
Doctor: He didn't. Not until last night.

Lieutenant: Incoming message from Romulus on all subspace channels.
Commander William T. Riker: On screen.
Ambassador: This is Ambassador Spock of Vulcan. By now, Federation sensors are tracking three Vulcan ships crossing the Neutral Zone. These ships carry a Romulan invasion force and must be stopped. I repeat, these ships carry a Romulan...
[the transmission is abruptly cut off by the Romulans]

Commander William T. Riker: Lunch time, Miles!

Commander William T. Riker: If this is a real phaser, then I *was* on the Enterprise. But I fired it on myself, so I should be dead. None of this is real.

Commander William T. Riker: What a perfectly vicious little circle.

Commander William T. Riker: Blondes and jazz seldom go together.

Captain: Anthwara believes that I am responsible for the crimes of one of my ancestors against his people.
Commander William T. Riker: Do you believe that?
Captain: No, of course not. I respect his belief; but I do not see how it can have any bearing on this mission. But even so, I can't help wondering... if a... dark chapter in my family's history is about to be repeated.

Lt. Commander Data: [to a glum Riker in the extended version of the episode] But Commander... .Will... I have learned from your example.
Commander William T. Riker: What could you have possibly learned from that ordeal?
Lt. Commander Data: That at times, one must deny one's nature. Sacrifice one's own personal beliefs to protect another. Is it not true that had you refused to prosecute, Captain Louvois would have ruled summarily against me?
Commander William T. Riker: Yes.
Lt. Commander Data: That action injured you, and saved me. I will not forget it.
Commander William T. Riker: [Riker instantly cheers up] You're a wise man, my friend.
Lt. Commander Data: Not yet sir. But with your help, I am learning.

Q: [about the Calamarain, which he has tortured in the past] They simply have no sense of humor - a character flaw with which you can personally identify.
Commander William T. Riker: I say we turn him over to them.
Q: Oh, well, I take it back. You do have a sense of humor, a dreadful one at that.

Commander William T. Riker: No one has ever offered to turn me into a god before.

[in a poker round, Riker seems unsure about how to proceed]
Doctor: 50 is the bet. What's the matter? Your feet getting cold?
Commander William T. Riker: My cards are getting cold.

Commander William T. Riker: It's considered an honorable way for a Klingon to die - a suicide that takes an enemy with it.

Admiral: So, how long have you had that beard?
Commander William T. Riker: About four years. I got tired of hearing how young I looked.
Admiral: What was it that, uh... Lieutenant Boylen used to call you?
Commander William T. Riker: Ensign Babyface!

Commander William T. Riker: For an android with no feelings... he sure managed to evoke them in others.

Commander William T. Riker: In your position it's important to ask yourself one question: what would Picard do?
Wesley: He'd listen to everyone's opinion and then make his own decision.

L. Q. 'Sonny' Clemonds: Let's see if the Braves are on, how do you cut on this teevee?
Commander William T. Riker: Teevee?
L. Q. 'Sonny' Clemonds: Yeah, the boob tube. Uh, I'd like to see how the Braves are doing after all this time. Probably still finding ways to lose.

Doctor: Sickbay is totally empty. Apparently I no longer have any staff.
Commander William T. Riker: And that surprises you, Doctor?
Doctor: Surprises me? I'll say it surprises me. There should be at least four members of my staff on duty at all times!
Lt. Commander Data: I am afraid ship's records do not concur, Doctor.
Doctor: What are you talking about?
Lt. Commander Data: You do not have a staff.
Doctor: You're telling me I'm the sole medical officer on a ship with over a thousand people on board?
Lt. Commander Data: Excuse me, Doctor, but the entire ship's complement is 230.

Counselor: I'm sensing nothing from them, sir. Which could mean they can shield their thoughts and emotions from others.
Captain: Which still makes it our move.
Counselor: Sir, they may know as little about us as we know about them.
Commander William T. Riker: Except that they know that they've got us in deep trouble.
Captain: If so, then the question becomes what do they do with that knowledge? Data, do you have any information touching this on any file?
Lt. Cmdr. Data: None, sir. Only hearsay and third-hand reports, most of which conflict.
Commander William T. Riker: Which reports do not conflict?
Lt. Cmdr. Data: That the Ferengi are... well, the best description may be "traders".
Captain: What kind of traders?
Lt. Cmdr. Data: A comparison modern scholars have drawn from Earth history likens the Ferengi to the ocean-going Yankee traders of 18th- and 19th-century America, sir.
Commander William T. Riker: From the history of my forebears; Yankee traders.
Lt. Cmdr. Data: Who, in this case, sail the galaxy in search of mercantile and territorial opportunity.
Commander William T. Riker: And are these scholars saying that the Ferengi may not be unlike us?
Lt. Cmdr. Data: Hardly, sir. I believe the analogy refers to the worst quality of capitalists. The Ferengi are believed to conduct their affairs of commerce on the ancient principle caveat emptor: "let the buyer beware".

[Ro has paid Riker a surprise visit in his quarters]
Ensign: I just didn't like the way my quarters were decorated.
Commander William T. Riker: Maybe we should switch quarters.
Ensign: Maybe we should stay right here and see what happens.
Commander William T. Riker: What if I snore in my sleep?
Ensign: What makes you think you're gonna get any sleep?

Commander William T. Riker: Where will I find Commander Data?
Lieutenant: Commander Data is on special assignment, sir. He's using our shuttlecraft to transfer an admiral over to the Hood.
Commander William T. Riker: An admiral?
Lieutenant: He's been aboard all day, sir, checking over medical layout.
Commander William T. Riker: Why a shuttlecraft? Why wouldn't he just beam over?
Lieutenant: I suppose he could, sir, but the Admiral's a rather... remarkable man.
Admiral Leonard H. "Bones" McCoy: [in a corridor with Data] Have you got some reason you want my atoms scattered all over space, boy?
Lt. Commander Data: No, sir. But at your age, sir, I thought you shouldn't have to put up with the time and trouble of a shuttlecraft.
Admiral Leonard H. "Bones" McCoy: Hold it right there, boy.
Lt. Commander Data: Sir?
Admiral Leonard H. "Bones" McCoy: What about my age?
Lt. Commander Data: Sorry, sir, if that subject troubles you.
Admiral Leonard H. "Bones" McCoy: Troubles me? What's so damned troublesome about not having died?

[Granger has asked to take fresh DNA from some of the Enterprise crew in order to clone them, which Riker refuses]
Commander William T. Riker: One William Riker is... unique, perhaps even special, but a hundred of him, a thousand of him... diminishes me in ways I can't even imagine.
Prime: You would be preserving yourself.
Commander William T. Riker: Human beings have other ways of doing that. We have children.

Commander William T. Riker: Geordi, can you see Worf?
Lieutenant: I'd see the freckles on his nose if he had them, sir.

Commander William T. Riker: [about the time distortion] The captain of the Lalo described it as a hiccup.
Captain: Hiccup?
Lt. Commander Data: Actually, sir, that may be an incorrect analogy.
Captain: How so, Data?
Lt. Commander Data: A hiccup is a spasmatic inhalation with closure of the glottis, accompanied by a peculiar sound. If we were to continue this analogy to a body function, what occurred would be best represented by...
Captain: Enough, Data.

Commander William T. Riker: You know, I've been thinking we should probably let Dad know what happened.
Lt. Thomas Riker: I'm sure he'd be thrilled to know there're two of us now.